Why don’t I trust my intuition?
This is a question I hear a lot from students who are developing their intuition.
Most recently I heard it from a woman who found out her husband was being unfaithful. When she learned the truth she said she knew it all along but didn’t trust her gut.
Intuition development is like any other skill you set out to acquire in life.
It takes practice.
You can’t expect to play like Tiger Woods after one golf lesson, can you?
It takes dedication and years of practice to get to his level.
I spent decades ignoring my own intuition even when I easily heard it for other people and confidently offered my advice.
It’s all about getting comfortable with your own power and confident in yourself. That’s why in my book, “The Intuition Principle” I cite increased confidence as one of the greatest benefits of developing your intuition.
You’ll learn to trust your intuition when you make listening to it an important part of your decision making process and subsequently follow its guidance.
The more you listen and the more success you have listening to it the more you’ll trust it.
There are valid reasons why you don’t trust your intuition.
I covered this in “The Intuition Principle” but here’s a few of the basic reasons:
- You were raised by controlling parents who never allowed you to make your own decisions.
- You were ridiculed or undermined when you made a decision on your own.
- You weren’t supported when you made a decision on your own.
Here are a few tips on how to engage your intuition and practice on a daily basis:
1. Test yourself throughout the day by “guessing” what a friend will be wearing when you meet her later.
2. Before you get on a grocery checkout line stop and check your gut for which line is going to move the fastest.
3. While driving to work ask yourself if you should take the “normal” route or vary it because of traffic?
4. Before getting to a busy intersection ask yourself if the light will be green or red?
5. On your way to the coffee shop ask yourself if you’re going to see someone you know?
These are simple questions you can ask or you can make up your own little tests too. The simpler the test the better it is because there is nothing at stake here. It’s not a life or death thing so you’re not going to tense up and shut down your intuition. Just relax go with your first impression. You’ll see within a few minutes if you’re right or wrong. The more you do this the better you’ll get and this will help you begin to trust your intuition.
Are you ready to begin to trust your intuition?
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P.S. Fine tune your intuition – click here!
The #1 Mistake You’ve Been Making That Blocks Your Intuition
Have you ever made a decision based on a fear that if you didn’t do this one thing you’d miss out on something?
If you relate to this story you might be making this mistake too.
A coaching client* mentioned that she was having doubts about a man she was in the early stages of a relationship with.
This lovely woman was divorced and happy to be free from a terrible marriage. After her divorce she moved clear across the country to get as far away from her ex as possible. She loved her new home, neighbors and job and met a nice new man not long after moving.
Things seemed to be perfect at first. He was a widower with several grown children living near the Gulf Coast. He loved his family and spoke about how close they all were. They had many interests in common and he was respectful and took things slow which my client appreciated. He was worldly, having traveled to many different countries and had many stories to share. He loved the opera and the arts and volunteering at charity organizations.
She was in heaven! Who had sent this angel of a man to her?
Since meeting him she had been coaching with me to find her life purpose. She wanted to create a new life that she loved now that she’d escaped her unhappy marriage. During our sessions she’d been updating me on her progress with him.
Every session she asked me if I got any “vibes” about him.
I did. And, they weren’t good. I didn’t see it being a “happily ever after scenario.”
I got the feeling that he was hiding things from her and that he wasn’t what he appeared to be. I also got a strong feeling that she should be very cautious with him.
As it turned out one day he picked up and moved to the Gulf Coast. He told her via text that he missed his children and decided to move back to where they lived. She was disappointed but, I was relieved.
She attributed his inability to be open and share with her as a sign of caring for her feelings. She believed he had been planning on moving back to where his children lived for some time and that he hadn’t told her to spare her feelings.
I saw what he had done as devious and very controlling. He toyed with her and then left her flat. I didn’t like the vibes I got from that at all.
A few weeks later she told me that she’d been texting with him since he moved. He wants her to come and visit him but not right now……he is quite busy, he says, because the g-men are after him. Years ago he got into trouble with the law and ever since he has been hounded by the government so, he has to keep a low profile and keep on moving and cannot even see his children.
Okay, now I have to call a spade a spade right so I say, “This person is a paranoid weirdo. Cut off all contact – now!”
“But, what if it’s true? Except for this he is really nice.”
Now this is where the #1 Intuition blocking mistake comes in……
“Tell me,” I ask, “what does your gut say about him?”
“Well, it sounds kind of fishy to me too.”
“How fishy?” I ask.
“Mmm, pretty fishy – like whack job fishy.” She pauses and then says, “I texted him back after a couple of days of this stuff and told him I didn’t believe him.”
“So, then why are you considering keeping the lines of communication open?” I ask.
“‘Cause maybe, you know, he might be telling the truth and there are a lot of things about him I like.”
And there is the #1 Mistake: Fear of Missing Out on Something
What was happening was that my client was afraid that she was going to miss out if she let this guy go. She was letting her fear and belief in lack override her intuition – which was right on the money. Instead of believing in herself and her worthiness and that there are plenty of fish in the sea she is holding onto to this one stinky fish!
She knew what her gut was saying was true all along or she wouldn’t have kept asking me what my vibes were on this guy. She didn’t want to be right. If she was right she would have to walk away from someone who was paying attention to her.
See how we deceive ourselves when we make the #1 mistake that blocks our intuition: Fear missing out on something?
3 Tips to avoid making the #1 mistake that blocks your intuition:
1. Get clear on why you want what you want. Ask yourself if you’re attached to the outcome? If so why?
2. Trust your gut. It always knows! If you feel something is amiss it is, whether you can prove it or not. That’s your spidey sense.
3. Never do something because you fear that if you don’t you’ll miss out and never get another chance. When we make any decision from a place of fear instead of confidence and strength our judgement is compromised.
How have you been blocking your intuition by being afraid you’ll miss out. Is it really true? Will you miss out? Share in the comment section.
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P.S. Hone your intuition – click here!
*The client’s personal details have been changed to protect her privacy.
Photo credit: © MediablitzImages – Fotolia.com
An arrow can be shot only by pulling it backward. So when life is dragging you back with difficulties, it means that it is going to launch you into something great. –Author unknown
Using your Intuition to get intuitive guidance for your life
For the last 6 months I have been going through a severe spiritual crisis of the soul-
It culminated by my almost taking a job I didn’t want but, thanks to my intuition – my inner guidance system – I stopped the madness.
Here’s what happened.
After working from home steadily for months to write and publish “The Intuition Principle” I showed up in the office in August. I have a financial sales position where I can work from home. In my heart, I no longer want to be a 100 percent commissioned salesperson but, this job gives me a lot of flexibility and freedom along with health benefits.
As much as I’ve racked my brain looking for other alternatives and sent out mountains of resumes – nothing has come up that gives me this much freedom so I’ve stayed there. The trouble is that after 30 years I’m tired of “selling.” I just don’t have it in me anymore. I cannot live my life to meet sales goals anymore.
A month ago I was offered a new sales job via a group of former colleagues I re-connected with at a Christmas party.
To make a long story short – they all remembered me as the “eager-beaver” who swiftly climbed the corporate ladder and had been a serious work-a-holic. Back then I was a regional sales manager with dreams of being a big time corporate executive but, I’m not that person anymore.
I interviewed with a bunch of group executives from this company and a few days later they offered me a great job.
The problem was and is that I don’t want to do that job! I was seduced by the flattery of being pursued so aggressively!
I was down with the flu and a fever when my cell phone rang. I picked it up and the HR person made me a formal offer which I accepted in a hoarse whisper and then, he began rattling off the hefty salary, signing bonus and benefits.
Honestly, all I was thinking while he spoke was how the money from the signing bonus could quickly replace some of the money I’d pulled out to live on over the last two years since I hadn’t been working – and nothing else.
He gave me a start date of three weeks and told me I’d have to be fingerprinted and drug-tested within 48 hours.
After the initial phone call everything else was a blur. I forced myself out of bed in the following days to get drug-tested and finger-printed even though I was really sick.
I felt like a zombie – just going through the motions. I was not at all excited about the job instead, I had a feeling of dread. I couldn’t sleep through the night either. Although I kept waking up with that horrible panicky “punched in the gut” feeling I kept telling myself that taking this job was the “sensible” thing to do. How was I going to make up for my lost income or prepare for retirement if I didn’t take it?
I kept asking my spirit guides and higher self for guidance but, nothing was coming to me. I was so frustrated. As the days went by and my start date loomed nearer and nearer, my panic level increased exponentially.
How I got in touch with my intuition and restored my soul and sanity:
1. Stop panicking and surrender to what is
After the fourth day of asking for guidance and getting nothing – I gave up. I was slightly delirious from the fever I had but, I heard myself saying, “I don’t care if I don’t wake up tomorrow,” and this startled me. At that moment I said to myself, “This is crazy! I give up – whatever will be will be. God I’m handing over the reigns to you. I can’t do this anymore. Please help me.” And that’s when I received the information clairvoyantly from my spirit guides.
Panicking shuts down your intuition. When you are panicked you are so caught up in emotional turmoil that your intuition cannot get through all that noise. If you read “The Intuition Principle” you will recall I go into great detail on all the ways you block your intuition. I was so panicked I forgot my own advice!
When I “gave up” I stopped thinking, “Oh no! What should I do? Am I turning down a great opportunity that I am supposed to take?,” over and over and my mind became still. When I surrendered and let go my mind became still my intuition presented me with the following scene:
A cute little girl of around 8 years old was walking backwards waving at me to follow her. She was at a country fair and there were throngs of people all around her. She turned around and then began darting through the crowds while I followed behind her.
She laughed and turned back to look at me a few times. Each time she did she morphed into a different little girl who at times was eating cotton candy or popped corn. She skipped with abandon through the crowds – nimbly weaving in between the adults’ legs. I remember thinking how confident, joyful and happy she appeared. I was surprised that she showed no fear of getting lost in the crowd or being separated from her family.
She was just having fun and not at all worried about being lost.
What my spirit guides or higher self presented to me was that I was taking my life too seriously. I was being advised to play more and to do what makes me happy in life. I should skip through life with abandon and not be afraid to change my mind. Don’t worry about getting lost and not taking this opportunity – or being separated from this group of former colleagues which, years ago had been like family.
2. Remember there are no wrong decisions – there are only choices in life
The other point my spirit guides or higher self was trying to make was that there is no actual path each of us must follow. You are not “supposed” to do anything.
I wrote extensively about this in “The Intuition Principle” – which again, I’d forgotten until I stopped worrying so much about whether I was making the right decision or not. My fears about missing “a great opportunity” kept me locked in panic mode where the “voice” of intuition could not get through.
We have free will. The path appears before each us as we make our choices and take a step forward in the direction of our dreams.
Before that choice, or next step there is nothing only a multitude of potential futures – that become forks in the road if we choose to take one of them. If you make one choice your life will go in this direction and if you make another your life will take that direction. But remember, there is no “right or wrong choice.” It’s all just potentiality – so there is nothing to be afraid of!
3. Contact a trusted adviser and have them “talk you down”
When I need advice I turn to my intuitive adviser colleagues just like you might reach out to me for my intuitive advice. The morning after I received the clairvoyant vision from my guides I connected with Lisa Claudia Briggs of Intuitive Body, and she talked me down from the ledge I was ready to jump off of. I recall my first words to her were:
“I woke up today feeling like I’m facing a death sentence.”
Intuitively, Lisa knew and was able to make me see that it was not “knowing that I didn’t want the job” that was tying me up in knots but, the fear that I might be turning away a great opportunity – that was “meant to be.” I realized I was reliving a vicious cycle that had drawn me back into financial sales over and over each time I’d gone to great lengths to get out in the last three decades.
I was afraid I wouldn’t be taken “seriously” if I came out of the closet and fully embraced my abilities as a clairvoyant and medium. I was plagued by the constant fear that the companies I worked for would find out about who I really was and fire me so, I never really put myself “out there” 100 percent. Consequently, I always felt that I had no choice but to return to the security of working in finance in order to support myself in an abundant lifestyle.
Lisa made me see I had been pushing away my own good all these years. By clinging to the security of this career and having to “hide” who I was I was creating the very thing I didn’t want!
4. Never make a decision based solely on money
Money can hypnotize and seduce you. It can distract you from exploring the underlying issues around a decision. Don’t let that happen.
Speaking to Lisa helped me to “snap out of it!”
The money was only a quick fix and would become my “golden handcuffs.” And, the money would not be handed to me for nothing. I’d have to actually show up and do this job to get it – and I didn’t want to. Taking it would lock me into forcing myself to do something I dreaded each day. Once I was there it would be hard to “get out.” I’d feel obligated to all those people who spoke so highly of me and recommended me for the position.
Never go for the “quick fix.” It will only create more problems down the road.
5. Trust your gut
If it doesn’t feel right – it’s not for you
Always always go by your feelings. This is what it means to “trust your gut.”
The moment I said to Lisa, “I’m going to call up and tell them I cannot take the job,” I felt incredible relief.
The relief was immediate and complete. I felt as if a ton of bricks had been lifted from my shoulders. I felt crazy happy and as if I could walk on air.
To check on your feelings and get clear on what the right decision is try this:
Imagine you have made the choice to do this thing (whatever it is) and create a scene in your mind as to how your life would be and feel if you had done it. Now, take the opposite decision and imagine how you would feel in this scenario.
Which scenario “feels” better; feels right; feels good or gives you relief? Trust your gut. That is the right decision for you.
6. Love yourself enough to give yourself what you want
In the next few days I mustered my courage to call the hiring manager and tell him I couldn’t take the job.
While meditating I heard this:
“Love yourself enough to give yourself what you want.”
I understood how unkind I had been to myself for the last thirty years. I had “forced” myself to take jobs that I didn’t really want and accept promotions I didn’t want when all I ever wanted to do was be a writer. I felt as if “I had no choice” but to take them because I was good at what I did and I made an really good living at it.
I also realized that I had been discounting my feelings my entire life. I felt like a round peg in a square hole at these jobs. I was constantly telling myself to, “Buck up and get over it. Don’t be a big baby everybody has to do things they don’t like.” That’s not very loving, is it?
My dear friend Daylle Deann Schwartz from How Do I Love Me has a fantastic self-love campaign going on this month. She has a free book offer, “How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways,” that you can download too. While I was perusing her Facebook fan page I came across this great banner:
Seeing this banner was just what I needed to help me gather the courage to make the phone call I had been putting off. You see how the Universe supports you? The “signs” are always there you just need to be open and ready to receive them.
It was time love myself enough to give myself what I wanted in life – finally.
7. Choose Happiness
After I made the phone call I felt as if I could fly! It was the same feeling of elation I’d felt when I quit my job 18 years ago to go back to school. I’d taken control of my life and it felt great!
I no longer had any fears about “making a mistake.” I knew the happiness I was feeling was the “sign” that I had made the right decision.
And you know, the hiring manager couldn’t have been nicer. He said I would always have a place there if I changed my mind. Wow!
As I hung up the phone I heard myself saying over and over,
“I choose happiness! I choose happiness!”
It was in that moment I felt the “shift.” I knew my life would never be the same again. I had a major breakthrough in my thinking and I could feel that I was now transmitting different vibes to the Universe.
What makes you feel like jumping for joy or, high fiving all your friends? That’s what you should do.
When you feel down-trodden, burdened and obligated that is a huge sign that you must review your decision. In my case, I felt as if I had been handed a “death sentence.” That can’t be good, right?
When you are happy you send out “happy vibes” to the Universe saying “I feel good. Send more of this!” When you are trembling with fear and paralyzed by panic your vibes pull in more situations that resonate with fear and panic.
Always, always opt for what makes you happy. The Universe is impartial. It will give you whatever you want based on the signals it receives from you.
8. Be grateful for everything
After hearing that “click in my head” and becoming aware that my thinking had shifted I found myself so grateful for my life – just the way it is now. I felt like George Bailey felt in the film, “It’s a Wonderful Life,” after he said, “I want live again!”
I was grateful for every challenge I’d ever encountered, for my ten year old car and grateful to have a roof over my head and the flexible job I have now and health insurance and on and on and on…..
I realized that everything is perfect just as it is. This is my life and love it and I wouldn’t trade it in for another for all the money in the world.
I was jumping for joy and couldn’t sit still. I was doing a happy dance of gratitude and it felt great!
And, I couldn’t wait to write this post and share with you how wonderful life can be when we accept who we are and embrace our lives bumps and all just like George Bailey did in “It’s a Wonderful Life.”
“I love you drafty old house!” says George.
“I love you perfectly imperfect life,” says me.”
It’s going to be a wonderful life. I can feel it in my intuitive bones. 🙂
Are you in the midst of a crisis of the soul? Are you ready to surrender to what is and then listen to your inner guidance? Are you ready to love yourself enough to make the rest of your life the best it can be?
If you enjoyed this post please share it with a friend on Twitter, Facebook or Google+. Thank you.
P.S. Learn to tap into your intuition for guidance – click here.
Photo: © Patrizia Tilly – Fotolia.com