We all have dreams. But in order to make dreams come into reality, it takes an awful lot of determination, dedication, self-discipline, and effort. –Jesse Owens
Years ago I met a playwright. Actually, let me rephrase that – I didn’t meet her she came into my life as a temp office worker.
One morning a top heavy woman in a low cut blouse, short skirt, wearing red cowboy boots showed up to fill in for my secretary. I showed her to the desk in the reception area outside my office. Before taking off her fringed suede cowboy jacket she pulled a small booklet out of her pocket and placed it on the desk.
While she hung up her jacket in the closet I glanced at the booklet titled, “Backstage.”
“Are you an actress?” I asked very proud of myself for knowing what this magazine was used for.
The woman gave me an icy stare before answering, “No, I’m a playwright.” It was obvious that she felt that being a playwright was superior to being an actor.
While I worked in the financial industry I was a writer in my spare time so, meeting someone who was so bold as to announce that she was a playwright was very intriguing, to say the least.
Fast forward a few months and we became friends.
I was so envious of her life. She was the author of a successful series of young adult novels and lived in in Manhattan Plaza, a subsidized apartment complex for members of the performing arts. She also wrote periodically for a television soap opera and worked temp jobs only when she needed extra money. She spent the rest of her time writing and hanging out with other cool “artists” in coffee shops and cafes.
To say I was impressed would have been putting it mildly. I’d never met anyone like her. She was living her dream – actually my dream. I was invited to her wedding where I was seated next to her agent. Later I became an associate producer for her play which was performed at several regional theaters.
It was all just too good to be true.
The only problem was that while I was living vicariously through her my life didn’t change one bit. She kept urging me to quit my job and do what I loved but, I was afraid to give up the security. I was also afraid of what people would think of me.
Eventually we lost touch when she moved to L.A.
So, why am I telling you all this?
When I look back on it now I realize that I while I thought I was bringing my dreams to life by hanging out with her and sharing my work with her agent – I was only “scheming.”
I thought that if I hung around with people who were doing what I wanted to do that my life would change.
It didn’t change though because I didn’t change. I was still too attached to my suits and briefcase. That was my identity and I couldn’t “dream” beyond it.
The Universe had synchronistically placed at my feet, a role model and path to show me that there were people doing what I only dreamed of doing but, I had been too insecure and scared to take the first step.
What I learned from this was that if you want “be” something you have to “be” that something inside or all the validation from the outside world will not make you believe it is the truth.
In other words you must be able to shout from the mountain tops with full confidence that you are already this “thing” that you dream of becoming.
For example, this friend thought I had talent as a writer. She introduced me to her agent who also thought I was talented. I was elated but, I had doubts and felt so insecure inside that nothing changed on the outside because I did not take action.
The reason why I was so taken by this woman when she announced with full confidence that she was a “playwright,” was because she was so sure of it. She wasn’t embarrassed about temping as a secretary. She didn’t say, “I’m hoping to have a play I’ve written produced but, in the meantime I’m temping……” She was already completely confident that she was a playwright.
Each of us needs to arrive at this same unshakeable conclusion inside if we wish to achieve our dreams.
When your beliefs inside match what you wish to achieve outside absolutely nothing will hold you back from achieving it.
In the meantime stop scheming. Stop trying to find “back doors” to do the thing you love. The only thing that will allow you to develop the confidence to shout out “I am…..this or that” with complete confidence is to practice doing the thing itself. No amount of rubbing elbows and social climbing can do that for you.
In order to arrive at this conclusion you will have to work hard at honing your craft – whatever that may be and not be tempted to take side entrances to getting where you want to go. And, I can guarantee you it won’t happen overnight either.
It took me 2o years to own my expertise and to finally write a book about to how to create a life you love by relying on your intuition – which is the book idea I pitched to the agent I mention in this article.
Be prepared to work hard and not give up
You will need to take classes, get training and practice, practice and practice some more. And, in doing so there will come a point when your beliefs will shift and you will no longer feel like a sham – and you own your brilliance. You will become a person who can shout to the whole world that you are who you say you are and then and only then will things change on the outside to match what you believe on the inside.
Are you the same person on the inside that you claim to be on the outside? Can you think of any instances in your life where you weren’t yet ready to own your goal?
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Check out these great interviews about the book by some great bloggers:
Day 10: http://www.projecthappilyeverafter.com/2012/05/is-intuition-bogus/
Day 10: http://www.arvinddevalia.com/blog/2012/05/23/power-of-intuition/
Day 11: http://www.thebridgemaker.com/the-intuition-principle/
Day 11: http://gettingtozen.com/2012/05/angela-artemis-attracting-the-life-you-dream-of-and-the-great-book-giveaway/
This is a guest post by Debbie Hampton for Powered by Intuition.
There are generally two types of people in the world when it comes to decision making.
The first takes the time to gather information, evaluates and analyzes several options, and, subsequently, makes a decision backed up by sound methodology and reasoning which makes sense to them. The other type, of which I tend to be included, makes decisions based on little information with reasoning that goes along the lines of “It just feels right.” (more…)
He who is not everyday conquering some fear has not learned the secret of life. —Ralph Waldo Emerson
Have you ever been paralyzed by fear?
Can you recall the awful sense of dread you felt?
That distinct punched in the gut feeling?
I have—too many times. (more…)
I will greet the world when I’m perfect and not before.
Image by Meredith_Farmer via Flickr
I love me. I love me not.
I love me. I love me not.
Can you relate to this?
We all struggle with truly loving ourselves unconditionally.
When we will only love ourselves based on meeting conditions we’ve not really learned the true nature of self love. (more…)
I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work. Thomas Edison
Many successful people have failed while attempting to achieve their goals.
Actually, some of the most successful people on the planet have failed spectacularly! Did you know that Milton Hershey of the famed Hershey’s chocolates was fired from his first job as a printer, then went on to start and lose three candy companies and file for personal bankruptcy before finally starting the company that he became famous for? Can you imagine starting three companies that all failed?
Steven Jobs, the creator of the Apple computer began his career in his parent’s garage. Within a decade he’d built up a 2 billion dollar company. At age thirty Jobs joined the ranks of the unemployed when his own board of directors fired him. He went on to found another successful venture, Pixar, a company that creates animation for films such as Finding Nemo. He didn’t wallow in self pity after being fired. Oh, and by the way his old company Apple came back groveling twelve years later and hired him back. Can anybody say IPhone and Ipad?
Becoming successful takes fortitude and perseverance.
J.K. Rowling, the mega successful author of the Harry Potter series, was rejected by twelve different publishers before she found one to accept her manuscript. Even after agreeing to publish her first novel, they advised her to keep her day job. It seems no one had any faith in J.K. – but J.K. herself.
Even Stephen King‘s first novel, Carrie was rejected by more than a dozen publishers before he was offered a contract. Did he give up and say I guess I’m not a writer? No.
Simon Cowell, the now hugely successful record and television producer of American Idol and other international talent shows, was forced to move back in with his parents in 1989 due to crushing debts he’d amassed when the record company he worked for had financial difficulties. He recovered from this setback and pursued his dream and his successful results are now broadcast around the world.
Two years ago I was privileged to interview entrepreneur, A.J.Khubani for a magazine I contributed to. Khubani is a fascinating business man whose company, Telebrands Corp, markets products with the red AS SEEN ON TV label, such as the PedEgg, the StickUp Bulb, and the GoDuster just to name a few. Khubani started his business right out of college with a few thousand dollars and it was NOT an overnight success. Over the years he had numerous product failures that cost him a bundle, and faced crippling lawsuits over patent infringement, but he never gave up and Telebrands came back even bigger and more profitable.
Twenty-five years later his company is worth $100 million. The most interesting part of our interview though was when he spoke of failing and almost losing his business, and his home in 2000. He responded that failure and challenging times help us to mature. He also said that if he had a chance he wouldn’t change a thing in his life; that’s now much he valued the experience of failing because of what he learned from it.
Successful people don’t allow failure to deter them from pressing on.
They have a vision for their lives, and use their failures as a lesson and stepping stone to get them to their goal. They don’t give up. If you want to succeed you have to be unshakeable, unquakeable, and unsinkable and say to yourself: Failure is not the end. It’s the beginning. I can and I will try again.
(Here’s a short video on some of the famous people who’ve failed. Click on the link.) Famous People Who’ve Failed
I’m not trying to make light of failure. In fact, I was inspired to write this article because too many people close to me are facing enormous challenges in their lives due failing or losing a job. Of course it’s devastating to fail. There’s the huge emotional tsunami one has to survive beside dealing with the potential realities like financial ruin, homelessness, putting food on the table, etc. The point I’m trying to make though is that we do and can go on. It might not be pretty for a while, or even a long time, but as long as you have breath in your body you have a chance to try again and to use all that you’ve learned from your failure to regain your footing and come back even better and happier in the second go round.
Fellow blogger, Dragos Roua, from his blog of the same name said it so well when he wrote in is superb article titled, “The Six Stages of Failure”:
You learn by doing. You see what you did wrong, when and how, and start to fix it. It’s like a DIY session, only it’s for the entire Universe. You broke something in your reality but now you know exactly how you did it. It’s like you have a map on how to re-assemble the pieces, so you pick your tools and start fixing that stuff.
If you have a dream declare it boldly! Don’t be afraid of what anyone thinks or says to you. Many new ideas aren’t accepted at first. Just think of how many people must have laughed at the Wright brothers before they designed a plane that actually could fly.
Create a plan to achieve your goal and begin working it. Even if you’re first few attempts backfire – keep going. Remember, the people who dare to laugh are the ones most afraid of failure.
So, don’t cower in the corner fearing failure – go for it. And, remember if you fail or if you’ve been fired you’re in great company. And, after realizing your in great company, pick yourself up, dust yourself off and get back in there.
The real meaning of success is not about fame and fortune. It’s what you learn on the journey getting there – particularly from your failures.
I’ve failed – and been fired from my first job. I’ve also left the finance industry and come back to the safety net of a “job” numerous times because my attempts in other industries haven’t worked out. But, I’m not giving up. Today is a new day – and another chance to try again. I’ve learned that failing is not the end of the world. I’ve also learned how important it is to plan and take small calculated steps toward your goals instead of jumping off a cliff all at once, and that’s what I’m doing now. Sometime soon, I will be self-employed writing/blogging, teaching others how to develop their intuition and extra sensory perception and doing intuitive and mediumistic consulting. Baby steps do lead to great strides.
What about you? Have you ever failed? What did you learn from it?
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