Spiritual Laws of Success: How to Gain the Support of the Universe

Spiritual Laws of Success: How to Gain the Support of the Universe

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Spiritual Laws of Success: How to Gain the Support of the Universe

Do you ever wonder how some people seem to get everything they want?

You know the kind of people I’m talking about, the ones who appear to have been born under a lucky star?

Everything goes their way and each time they set out to accomplish something not only to do they but, they make a smashing success out of it.

Whatever they touch or desire to bring about unfolds elegantly and almost magically with the Universe supporting them with one synchronicity or serendipitous event after another. They set out to do something and “suddenly” the money appears to complete their project (synchronicity) or they meet a person out of the “clear blue” who profoundly changes the direction of their life forever afterward (serendipity).


These types of people aren’t born under a lucky star at all.

In fact there is a “system” to how they behave and how they think that you can emulate in order to gain the support of the Universe too.

They are simply following the spiritual laws of success, whether they realize it or not, which results in the Universe mirroring back to them exactly what they put out.

The Universe isn’t random

Whatever we do, think and say creates the response and reaction we get from the Universe. If we don’t like the reactions we are getting it means WE have to change because one thing is for sure, the Universe isn’t about to.

The “Universe” is a self-organizing system that reacts to our actions. This means that there is an underlying program that runs the Universe. And this program has been set to react in specific ways to our actions, which is a good thing because it shows there is a pattern we can study and learn from. If we put in a bit of effort to study the actions of successful people we too can learn how to better interact with the Universe in order to achieve greater results.

Spiritual Laws of Success

The spiritual laws of success I’m referring to come from Raymond Holliwell’s book, “Working with the Law.”

How to get the Universe to Support You by properly using the Spiritual Laws

1. Law of Thinking: Watch your thoughts. Do not allow yourself to go down a path of negative thinking about anything. Stop complaining! You push away your good when you do that.

2. Law of Supply: Think Big. Don’t limit your supply by focusing on what you don’t have. The Universe is unlimited and your life is unlimited. Only you put limitations upon it.

3. Law of Attraction: Create a strong desire and expect that it will manifest. Your desire must be a vibrational match for what you desire. See it, feel it and know that it will manifest and and act as if it already has.

4. Law of Receiving: Focus on what you can give others. The more you give the more you will get. When you are only focused on getting or believe you’re “owed” something the law of receiving won’t work.

5. Law of Increase: Praise increases your good. Use positive affirmations. See the good in every situation and then focus on that. The more you praise or “bless” a situation the more increase you will see.

6. Law of Compensation: The more you put in the more you’ll get back. The only way to become successful is to work at it. You can’t just dream about it and expect to be compensated. You have to do the work.

7. Law of Non-Resistance: Quit focusing on obstacles. Go around them instead! If something stands in your way find another way instead. There is always a solution and you find it when you stop obsessing about the obstacle.

8. Law of Forgiveness: Increase the flow of good in your life by forgiving. Forgiving allows you to release the energy around the situation that was frozen within you. This frees you and frees up the flow of good.

9. The Law of Sacrifice: Nothing comes without a price. If you really want to do something it will entail sacrifice of some sort. There are only 1,440 minutes in a day. You have to make hard choices sometimes to get where you want to go.

10. Law of Obedience: You can’t outsmart the laws that govern the Universe. Use them properly and they work for you. Use them improperly and they will work against you.

11. Law of Success: Take action now. Nothing is more empowering than action. Let go of excuses, overcome your fear and indecision and take a stand for your success.

This is what successful people do to gain the support of the Universe. Are you ready to do what it takes to take a stand for your success? If so the Universe will have your back too.

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P.S. Learn to listen to your intuition – click here.

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Intuition Blocks: Beware of These 3 Words

Intuition Blocks: Beware of These 3 Words

Intuition Blocked: woman unable to make a decision

Intuition Blocks: When you are trying to make a decision and hear yourself use the words “But, Well and If” beware that you may be blocking your intuition – just when you need it most!

I had a call from an old friend and colleague who’s the hiring manager for her division. While we were catching up she mentioned that she was having trouble deciding whether to hire someone.

She knew the woman from industry events and bumped into her at a restaurant recently and they got to talking. The woman said she was a superstar at her company but that she wasn’t happy there and was looking to make a change.

All that glitters is not gold

My former colleague asked her if she’d be interested in meeting to discuss the possibility of a move and she said yes.

They set up their meeting for a week from that day.

When that day arrived the woman cancelled a half our before the scheduled time. She had some fires to put out at work that day and had to cancel so they rescheduled for the following week.

When that day arrived she cancelled the meeting again this time two hours before citing that new problems arose that prevented her from making the meeting.

When the day for the third meeting came she cancelled again. She had some sudden personal problems to take care of this time but she rescheduled for a week later.

Don’t get steamrolled more than once

The day of the fourth scheduled meeting she didn’t cancel but arrived nearly an hour late. Her son was sick and she had to take him to the doctor so she wasn’t able to get there on time.

At the meeting she took phone calls and made my friend sit there and wait.

She spoke about herself and her needs for nearly 60 minutes without ever asking a question about the job or company my friend represented.

When she finally did ask a question she was interested in finding out if they would give her a personal assistant, customize several company wide systems to suit her needs and how much they would cover of her monthly expenses.

After my friend gave me the back story I asked her what the problem was?

To me it was clear that she should RUN not walk away from this prospective employee.

Desperation is not the mother of invention

My friend and former colleague was stuck on the fact that this woman was a superstar producer. She was desperate to hire someone like that to increase the bottom line of her department.

Her reply when I told her that she shouldn’t hire this woman was, “But if she does the kind of production she says she does she would be an asset to my group.”

“You don’t see a problem with her behavior and how many times she cancelled?” I asked.

“Well, if she does those kind of numbers every month it would make up for it.”

“Are you sure you’re not making excuses for her?

“Well……,” her voice trailed off.

“Okay,” I said, “Tell me what does your gut say? Give me one short sentence.”

Your gut knows

There was silence for a few moments and then I heard a long sigh, “I don’t think she would work out,” she said finally.

“I think you have your answer, don’t  you?”

“Mmm, well she said she’ll show me her 1040 for last year to prove she did the kind of numbers she said she did.”

Obviously my friend was still contemplating hiring her anyway.

“Okay, good luck with this. I hope she works out for you.”

She hung up hastily after that.

You see she knew that she was going against her intuition and wanted to ignore it.

Whenever you start using qualifiers such as Well, But and If when trying to decide on something you’re making excuses and not listening to your intuition.

Have you ever experienced this? Did you go against your intuition? What happened? Share with us in the comments.

If you enjoyed this article share it with a friend on Twitter, FB or Google+.

P.S. Hone your intuition and make the right decision for your life every time: Click here.

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5 Steps to Forgive & Let Go to Achieve Your Dreams

5 Steps to Forgive & Let Go to Achieve Your Dreams

How to forgive and let goAllow yourself to forgive and let go if you want to be achieve your dreams and success.

Do you want to be successful in your relationships, health, career and financially? Do you have a vision of your ideal life that you dream of living? I hope so.

If you don’t have a vision that inspires and motivates you to take action please contact me (here).

If you are still holding resentment and grudges against people for things that occurred in the past you will find it much more difficult to achieve the success you dream of.

How unresolved issues hurt you

Suppose you are still angry and resentful about what happened to your life after you went through a nasty divorce. Every time you think of your spouse you feel upset and anger boils up from within. Just the mere mention of his/her name instigates this reaction. And, the mere thought of running into them makes you feel as if you were punched in the gut.

Carrying around this unresolved anger and resentment weighs heavily on you. It’s always there in the back of your mind and makes you feel down every time it comes to mind. Not forgiving blocks the flow of your life energy and suppresses joy and that keeps you from living fully.

This caustic reaction affects you emotionally and physically. Countless studies have shown that negative emotions release a slew of toxic chemical reactions within your body. Over time holding onto anger and resentment will impact your health.

Here’s a quote to put it in perspective:

“In fact, not forgiving is like drinking rat poison and then waiting for the rat to die.” Anne Lamott, Traveling Mercies: Some Thoughts on Faith (1999)

When you think about it this quote makes a lot of sense. When we hold resentment and anger toward someone or some situation we feel justified because of  “how bad it was.” We erroneously believe that this anger and resentment actually punishes the other party but it’s actually doing nothing to them and everything (in a negative way) to you.

Why not forgiving blocks you from achieving your dreams

You may be thinking, “My situation is not forgivable. What happened to me is so bad that if Angela heard my story she would agree with me that [insert your story] cannot be forgiven!”

If you’re thinking this I want to wake you up to the real issue about holding resentment and not forgiving. Forgiving is not about condoning what happened. For example, stealing is wrong but what good does it do you to hold onto the anger and resentment toward the thief? To forgive you need to accept what has happened and think, “It is what it is,” so you can let go and move on. You need to release the emotional charge that is keeping you bound to the event and stuck in the past.

Your energy cannot circulate

When you don’t move on a huge portion of your energy is sucked out of you to keep this anger and resentment alive each day. This is energy you could put toward making your life the joyous one you dream of. Not forgiving becomes a large hungry mass inside that continuously sucks life energy and blocks you from moving forward in your life. It keeps you stuck in the past and holds you hostage to it whether you realize it or not. It locks you into a victim mentality where your sad story defines and thereby shapes your life and what manifests because of it.

Every thought you think and emotion you consistently feel contributes to a pattern through which your life is created. Over time these repetitive thoughts and emotions coalesce into the situations in your life. The signal you broadcast when you don’t forgive is, “Hey world this is what I want so please send me more things to be angry about and resent, okay? Thanks!” That’s not really what you want, is it?

To forgive is to free yourself

If you have goals and dreams for your life you owe it to yourself to examine who and what you may need to forgive in your life. If you don’t forgive you will end up going in circles instead of making progress toward what  you say you want. On the one hand you will dream of living this big great life and on the other you will cancel it out by holding onto and feeding this dark mass of resentment.

Think of it this way what do you want more: To live the life you dream of or to hold onto that anger and resentment that you erroneously believe is punishing the person/situation?

I believe if you really think about this you’ll want to forgive and move on to create the life you dream of.

How to forgive & let go in 5 steps

Years ago my spiritual mentor gave me a powerful mantra: I forgive. I forgive. I forgive everyone including myself.

I changed it to: I forgive. I forgive. I forgive everyone including “insert name of person you want to forgive” and myself.

1. Go within. Close your eyes and take in three deep breaths to relax.

2. Picture the person. In your mind’s eye see the person you want to forgive.

3. Use the mantra. Silently repeat the mantra over and over while seeing them smile and nod their head in agreement with you to show they have received and accepted your forgiveness.

Spend at least 5 minutes sending out your forgiveness to them. It’s okay if at first you really don’t feel the forgiveness. As you practice this over time you will begin to feel the difference.

4. Release the person. After 5 minutes see them wave to you and then begin to walk away and as they do become smaller and smaller and finally disappear. Walking away and disappearing represents you releasing them from the energetic hold your mind has had upon keeping this anger and resentment alive within you.

5. Commit to this process. Repeat this several times during the day. I recommend at least twice; once upon arising and once again before you go to sleep. Forgiving someone takes time. It’s not going to happen overnight. You must commit to practicing forgiving and keep doing it until you realize that thinking about the person/situation no longer brings up the negative reaction.

When I did this it took me about six months until one day I suddenly realized I could think about the person and not have that negative reaction. It was so liberating! My life changed for the better. (Actually the moment I consciously began doing the forgiveness work my life began to get better.) When I was truly free my life took off and my life changed dramatically. Now I can think of this person and not feel anything other than that I wish them well. This is the point you want to get to.

What has not forgiving cost you – in lost time – in lost joy? Be honest with yourself. Can you see how not forgiving punishes you and not the other person? Tell us about it in the comments.

If you enjoyed this article share it with a friend who might benefit from it on Twitter, FB or G+.

P.S. Is anger and resentment holding you back from living the great life you dream of? Contact me for a life purpose session to discover how to change things for the better – here.


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5 Tips for a More Creatively Inspired New Year!

5 Tips for a More Creatively Inspired New Year!


“The creative is the place no one else has ever been. You have to leave the city of your comfort and go into the city of your intuition. What you will discover will be wonderful. What you’ll discover is yourself.” –Alan Alda

Do you want to be more creative in the coming year?

Bring forth your greatest vision?

Paint, write, sculpt, create or compose?

You can and you will when you understand the relationship between your creativity and intuition and how they are inextricably linked by the imagination.

The intuitive mind is where our genius resides. It’s the crossroad of creativity and genius.

The most creative people are also intuitive and the those who are intuitive are also given to creativity.

Keeping the channel to your intuition open ensures that you will always have an endless stream of brilliant ideas and insights flowing to you that will bring your dreams to you effortlessly. –The Intuition Principle, p.146-147

Developing your intuition takes practice, focus and vigilance to minding those “inner whispers.” And those inner whispers are the source of our greatest ideas that inspire and inform us.

Similarities between Creatives and Intuitives

The creative personality is highly perceptive. Creatives are keenly observant and highly imaginative. They have a natural inclination to “go within” and have a rich interior life. They can easily spend long periods of time alone with their thoughts reflecting and exploring the many insights and ideas that continually surface. They pick up on things and have the uncanny knack for “reading between the lines.” They also see patterns and connections where others do not and derive meaning from these associations. Creatives are talented in combining ideas in unique ways in order to come up with something completely new.

The intuitive personality is also highly perceptive, keenly observant and highly imaginative. They too have a natural inclination to “go within” and have a rich interior life. Spending time alone reflecting upon their thoughts and intuitive insights is vital to keeping the constant stream of intuitive insights flowing. Intuitives also read between the lines and are conscious of receiving impressions of the thoughts and feelings of those around them. They too see patterns and connections where others do not and derive meaning from these associations. They take these impressions and combine them into new and useful insights to gain clarity and understanding about their lives and those around them.

Creativity and Intuition go hand in hand.

They are two sides of the same coin. And the glue that holds them together is imagination.

Ever heard a writer say that they couldn’t stop writing their novel even if they wanted to because their characters keep talking to them?

Or, that a sculptor doesn’t see just a block of marble but the sculpture trapped within it?

Or, that a composer hears the entire score in their head before they ever put a note on paper?

What makes both creativity and intuition possible? Imagination.

Intuitives and creatives use the same faculty, their imagination, but in differing ways.

Intuitives also hear the voice of their thoughts, produce narratives based on these different voices and see the finished product or an organized whole rather than collection of disorganized thoughts, perceptions and feelings. Their minds assemble all the details that seem to be unrelated and combine them in unique ways to arrive at a conclusion about a situation that other people miss.

Both creatives and intuitives place a great value on what goes on in their private world within. A reverence for quiet reflection and listening to whispers within is the secret that stokes the flames of imagination.

Intuition will tell the thinking mind where to look next. –Jonas Salk

Both creativity and intuition rely on imagination – only differently.

To be creative requires trust in a process of allowing your imagination to absorb all sensory experience around you and then inspire you to take these elements and create or “re-imagine” something from them.

To be intuitive you allow your imagination to create and give birth to the images, feelings and sound track for your perceptions without censoring or editing them and need to trust in this process.

It is always with great excitement that I wake up in the morning wondering what my intuition will toss up to me, like gifts from the sea. I work with it and rely on it. It’s my partner. –Jonas Salk

If you want the coming year to be your most creatively inspired year yet you must cultivate all three attributes because they work together. As a creative cultivating your intuition will ensure that you have a steady supply of inspiration at your fingertips. You also need to understand that your imagination works differently from that of an intuitive. So, put yourself in situations and develop habits that are known to feed your imagination and you will not only see your creativity soar but your intuition will  as well.

Here are 5 tips you can incorporate into your life that will pump up your creativity (and your imagination and intuition!) in the coming year:

1. Spend time in nature and let yourself be inspired. Take a walk in a park and admire the natural scenery. Pick up some fresh flowers and set them by your desk and gaze at their beauty and take in their scent. Nature has been stimulating the world’s most celebrated artists for centuries so, it’s sure to work for you too.

2. Listen to music and/or take up an instrument. Making music can help jump-start your creativity.

3. Visit a new place. Take a road trip and get away from your own environment. Seeing something different will spur your creativity and imagination.

4. Listen to those inner whispers and record your ideas. Write down the ideas that come to you. Those inner whisperings from your intuition are your most inspired, genius ideas.

5. Spend time around children. Watching kids play and interacting with them allows you to be playful yourself. Being playful is a known catalyst for creativity.

 What ways do you find help you be more creative? Share with us.

If you enjoyed this article share it with a friend on Twitter, FB or Google+.

P.S. Turn up the volume on your intuition and be more creative: Click here!

Photo credit: © _chupacabra_ – Fotolia.com

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75 Quotes to Inspire and Motivate You to Live Up to Your Potential

75 Quotes to Inspire and Motivate You to Live Up to Your Potential

Man in silouette in sunset

75 Great Inspirational Quotes

Like most people I love quotes. Whenever I find one that inspires me I save it. I hope you find a few here that inspire you live up to your full potential too!

1. “Most people are like a falling leaf that drifts and turns in the air, flutters, and falls to the ground. But a few others are like stars which travel one defined path: no wind reaches them, they have within themselves their guide and path.”       –Hermann Hesse

2. “There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so.” –William Shakespeare, Hamlet

3. “Make sure you are doing what God wants you to do then do it with all your strength.” –George Washington

4. “Everything in the universe has a rhythm, everything dances. ” –Maya Angelou

5. “If you want to be great and successful, choose people who are great and successful and walk side by side with them.” –Ralph Waldo Emerson

6. “Use things, not people. Love people, not things.” –Author Unknown

7. “Before making a decision, ask inside for guidance. Be patient and await an answer. Act only when you feel calm and certain.” –Deepak Chopra

8. “Forgiveness is another word for letting go. –Matthew Fox

9. “Remember when you see a man at the top of a mountain, he didn’t fall there.” –Unknown

10. “At any moment, you have a choice, that either leads you closer to your spirit or further away from it.” — Thich Nhat Hanh

11. “Change is inevitable; growth is optional. – Unknown

12. “Sooner or later, those who win are those who think they can.” –Richard Bach

13. “I’m a Feather on the Breath of God.”  Flowing where I can best be used in service to my calling.” –Oprah

14. “Whatever you think you can do or believe you can do, begin it. Action has magic, grace and power in it.” –J.Goethe

15. “Although gold dust is precious, when it gets in your eyes, it obstructs your vision. –Hsi-Tang

16.  “You cannot truly know the meaning of your life until you are know the one who created you.” –Shri Mataji

17. “Every man with a new idea is a crank until the idea succeeds… Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.” – Mark Twain

18. “All life is an experiment. The more experiments you make the better.” — Ralph Waldo Emerson

19. I challenge you to make your life a masterpiece. I challenge you to join the ranks of those people who live what they teach, who walk their talk. – Tony Robbins

20. “What you get by achieving your goals is to as important as what you become by achieving your goals.” – Henry David Thoreau

21. “The best way to predict the future is to invent it.” — Alan Kay

22. “Whatever you do, or dream you can, begin it. For boldness has genius, magic, and power in it.” –Goethe

23. “I saw that my life was a vast glowing empty page and I could do anything I wanted” — Jack Kerouac

24. “Look past your thoughts, so you may drink the pure nectar of This Moment.” –Rumi

25. “The door you open to give love is the very one through which love arrives.” –Alan Cohen

26. “Meditation is to be aware of every thought and of every feeling, never to say it is right or wrong but just to watch it…”        – Krishnamurti

27. “If you are lonely when you’re alone, you are in bad company.” –Jean Paul Sartre

28. “The next thing you think, the next action you take, will either create a new possibility for you, or it will repeat the past.” –Deepak Chopra

29. “Many failures are people who didn’t realize how close they were to success when they gave up.” –Thomas Edison 

30. “You can decide to stop being affected by the outer world and, instead, to affect the world around with your peace.” –Orin

31. “If you cannot work with love but only with distaste, it is better that you should leave your work.” — Kahlil Gibran

32. “Our life is frittered away by detail… Simplify, simplify, simplify!” — Henry David Thoreau

33. “I like the silent church before the service begins, better than any preaching.” –Ralph Waldo Emerson

34. “All the elements for your happiness are already here. There’s no need to run, strive, search or struggle. Just be.” –Thich Nhat Hanh

35. “If there’s a book that you want to read, but it hasn’t been written yet, then you must write it.” — Toni Morrison

36. “The mind is its own place, and in itself can make a heaven of hell and a hell of a heaven.” — John Milton

37. “There is no way to transform the world other than transforming yourself.” – Deepak Chopra

38. “Life is a great big canvas, and you should throw all the paint on it you can.” –Danny Kaye

39. “Power over others is weakness designed as strength. True power is within, and it is available to you now.” –Eckart Tolle

40. “Today I live in the quiet, joyous expectation of good.” –Ernest Holmes

41. “The primary cause of unhappiness is never the situation but your thoughts about it.” –Eckhart Tolle

42. “The most astonishing thing about miracles is they happen.” –Wayne Dyer

43. “Whatever you think the world is withholding from you, you are withholding from the world.” — Eckhart Tolle

44. “When you carry yesterday’s thinking into today, you program tomorrow to be like yesterday.” –Marianne Williamson

45. “The wound is the place where the Light enters you.” –Rumi

46. “The cosmos is structured to bring about growth, and growth is always in the direction of greater love and happiness.” –Deepak Chopra

47. “There is no paycheck that can equal the feeling of contentment that comes from being the person you are meant to be.” –Oprah Winfrey

48. “Help other people get what they want ~ and you’ll get what you want.” –Mary Kay Ash

49. “Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment.” — Buddha
“A light heart lives long.” — William Shakespeare

50. “Honor your challenges, for those spaces that you label as dark are actually there to bring you more light, to strengthen you.”  –Sanaya Roman

51. “Let the winds of enthusiasm sweep through you. Live today with gusto!” –Dale Carnegie

52. “The universe is conspiring at this moment to bring you happiness and peace.” –Marianne Williamson

53. “When you accept what is, every moment is the best moment. This is enlightenment.” — Eckhart Tolle

54. “Start the day with LOVE. Fill the day with LOVE. End the day with LOVE… That is the way to God.” –Sai Baba

55. “Learn to see God in all people. When you begin to feel your oneness with every human being, you will know what divine love is.”  –Paramhansa Yogananda

56. “Beauty is how you feel inside, & it reflects in your eyes. It is not something physical.” –Sophia Loren

57. “Worry never robs tomorrow of its sorrow; it only robs today of its joy.” — Leo Buscaglia

58. “There is only one moment in time when it is necessary to awaken. That moment is now.” — Buddha

59. “Don’t push the river. Let the river come to you.” –Zen Saying

60. “The biggest adventure you can take is to live the life of your dreams.” –Oprah

61. “He that would perfect his work must first sharpen his tools.” –Confucius

62. “I cannot always control what goes on outside. But I can always control what goes on inside.” –Wayne Dyer

63. “As we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.” –Marianne Williamson

64. “There is a wisdom of the head, and… a wisdom of the heart.” –Charles Dickens

65. “The door to my heart opens inwards. I move through forgiveness to love.” — Louise Hay

66. “Do what is healing to your spirit, and without effort you will bring the world healing in return.” — Alan Cohen

67. “A mind once stretched by a new idea, never regains its original dimensions.” –Oliver Wendell Holmes

68. “In contracted awareness problems appear. In expanded awareness solutions appear. In pure awareness creative opportunities appear. –Deepak Chopra

69. ‘Let the waters settle, you will see stars and moon mirrored in your being.” –Rumi

70. “If you want to find the secrets of the Universe, think in terms of energy, frequency and vibration.” –Nikola Tesla

71. “Other people and what they think of you … has very little to do with what you are.” — Abraham-Hicks

72. “The forgiving state of mind is a magnetic power for attracting good.” — Catherine Ponder

73. When a person achieves a certain level of consciousness, whatever he or she intends begins to happen. –Deepak Chopra

74. “You can’t use up creativity. The more you use, the more you have.” — Maya Angelou

75.  “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.” –Marianne Williamson

Did you find some quotes that inspired you? Which ones were your favorites and why? Share with us.

If you enjoyed this please share it with a friend on Twitter, Facebook or Google+. Thanks!

P.S. Find your inspiration by tuning into your intuition. Click here!

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How to Make a Difficult Decision Using Reason And Intuition

How to Make a Difficult Decision Using Reason And Intuition

“It’s not hard to make decisions when you know what your values are.”  –Roy Disney

Your life is the result of your previous choices and decisions. Poor choices lead to bad decisions, which result in the mistakes we look back on and regret. The way to avoid making mistakes is to become a better decision maker.

But, how do you learn to apply proper decision making using both reason and intuition to your own life, to the little decisions and big decisions that ultimately shape your life? I was never taught this and the first half of my life was fraught with mistakes. Through trial and error and study I have learned how to handle challenging decisions. And, you can too.

The anatomy of a difficult decision

Say, you’re offered a job and it sounds great but, there’s a tiny niggling of doubt that holds you back from saying yes. You’re under pressure to give your decision – what do you do? Or perhaps you’re in a quandary over choosing the right life partner, business partner or whether to sell your home and move across country? How do you make these difficult decisions that affect the rest of your life?

Whatever the decision, there is a way to cut the stress, decipher the doubt and unearth the decision that is right for you using both reason and intuition in this intuitive decision making model.

Know thyself

You won’t make a proper decision unless you examine what makes you tick. Each of us is different and has a unique set of values and needs that our decisions must satisfy.

 What are your values?

What’s important to you? What do you need to be happy? Is financial security the most important thing to you? Is climbing the corporate ladder and increasing your status an important factor in your overall happiness? Are you motivated by fame and celebrity? Or, is it love and emotional intimacy? Do you need freedom and the call of adventure to be happy? Maybe spiritual growth tops your list?

(If you’re unclear what your values are The Self Improvement Blog has an enormous list of  400 that you can review. Pick out 20 top values and then whittle the list down to your top 5. These are the values that should motivate and guide your decisions.)

What vision for your life do you aspire to?

Each of us has a “vision” for our lives. My vision is to write, publish and teach people how to “speak intuition” so that they make the right decisions and live up to their full potential. Anything I do has to work toward upholding this overarching vision for my life.

What’s  your vision? Craft one sentence that encompasses your life’s vision.

Understanding your values and vision puts your decisions in context within this framework so, don’t skip this step. Your values and vision drive your decision-making and the trajectory your life takes. They should be the structure on which your life is built – in the same way that the skeleton is the framework to the body.

Follow these steps to come to a proper decision using reason & intuition:

1. Review whether the choice aligns with your values. Does it uphold them? If yes, fine. If not, go over your values. Did you choose the right values to begin with or are you making the wrong choice for the wrong reasons?

2. Ask yourself if this choice advances you in the direction of your vision? Or, does it take you away from it? If yes fine. If not, then why are you do it? Think hard about this.

3. Review the facts. What do you know? What don’t you know? Whom do you know with experience in this area? Can you speak to them about their experience? Would researching this issue reveal useful information that would help you to make a choice? Do your research.

4. Make a Pros and Cons list regarding this choice. Which is most convincing the pros or the cons list?

Decide if these four steps are enough to make the decision. If you feel completely confident and free of doubt go ahead and make your decision If not, go to the next steps where you will tap into your intuition.

5. “Live” both options. Imagine for a moment that you could fast forward to the future and review the outcome of your decision between two choices or, to either follow through with a particular decision or not.

Close your eyes and imagine that you see before you two doors; one has a sign with a large number “one” on it and the other a number “two” on it. Assign a choice to each door. Walk through door number one and imagine that you had taken that road.

Go through the entire sequence of events in your mind from start to finish. You chose this path, and then what? And, what comes after that and after that? And, how does it end up? What does your life look like after you’ve chosen “door number one.”

Do the same with the second door.  Step through the door and “live” out that decision in your imagination to it’s conclusion.

Which outcome affects your life most positively? Which outcome stands out most to you and “feels” right?

Still not sure about your decision? Go to Step 5.

5. Detach emotionally from the decision. Look from outside your own perspective. Ask yourself this, “If this weren’t my decision but, a close friend’s what would I tell them to do? How would I advise them? Does it benefit them? How?”

Have a convincing imaginary conversation with your friend and clearly explain why or why they shouldn’t make this decision.

Can you make a decision now? No? Proceed to the next step.

6. Check directly with your gut instinct – emotional intelligence – intuition.

Review the advice you gave your “friend” and all the reasons for making or not making this choice.

Close your eyes and take five deep breaths through the nose and release through the mouth to clear your mind.

Ask yourself how you “feel” about this decision? Do not ask yourself if you are making the right decision.

What is the first thought, feeling, image or emotion that comes to your awareness?

Focus upon it. Ask “it” why it has surfaced at this time? What is the first response that comes to mind after this question? This response is the “truth” of how you feel regardless of all the facts, lists and pros and cons.

Does this process reveal that your feelings about the decision are congruent to the decision you made by using reason and data? If your feelings correspond with the decision you made previously then great – you’ve done it! You’ve made a proper decision using logic and reason followed up by your gut instinct – emotional intelligence – intuition.

If you there is discord between the two then, you need to investigate the feeling that is at odds with your logical decision further. Go to the next step.

7. Delve deeper within.

Place your palms on your abdomen in the area  of your solar plexus. The reason for placing your hands on your solar plexus is to remind you to connect with the intelligence of your body. Your body gives signals via feelings that communicate vital information to you. Most of you are too busy to notice them. This is why you need to slow down and go within in order to decode this important information.

Close your eyes and relax by taking five more deep breaths in through the nose and releasing them through the mouth.

Now visualize the outcome of the first decision and then the second just as you did when you stepped through each door.  This time you are going to focus on what physical sensations, feelings or emotions come up regarding each of the outcomes.

Pay attention to your breathing, is it constricted with either choice? Does your chest feel tight when you go to take a breath? Become aware of your neck and shoulders, do either of the decisions make you tense up in those areas of your body? Notice your abdomen and the area around your solar plexus, is there a “knot” in your stomach or butterflies? Do you feel nervous, anxious, are your palms sweating, does your heart speed up or is there a lump in your throat?

If you notice any discomfort regarding one choice over the other, your body is telling you that this is not the right choice.

Do you have your answer now? Not yet? Go to step eight.

8. Make sure you thoroughly understand your motivation and what you’re getting into.

If you’ve come through the process this far without an answer it’s time to step away and put it on a shelf for a while.  Don’t rush and never allow pressure from outside sources to influence you into making a decision before you are ready. Tell yourself that you want more clarity on this issue and that you expect to get it in X number of days (give yourself a time period).

Don’t make a decision and don’t think about it after that, live your life and focus on other things. Just because you’re not consciously thinking about this decision doesn’t mean it isn’t “percolating” in your subconscious. You may have a dream during this period or an insight will surface that clarifies the issue. You may come to the conclusion that this decision is unnecessary and drop the whole thing.

Have you ever found yourself struggling to make an important decision? What was the situation you were grappling with? What techniques did you use to help you make the decision?

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P.S. Learn to “speak intuition.” Click here.

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