How to overcome failure and use it to springboard to your next big thing
Chances are you have failed on at least one occasion in your life.
Success is often born from failure. See it as a life lesson & come back stronger than before.
What separates those with a “winning” attitude from those with a “losing” attitude is how you see your failure.
While you may not be able to prevent failure you can control how you react to it. It’s normal to be upset when you fail. I’m not saying to ignore your feelings. Allow yourself to feel the anger and emotional upset but do not wallow in fear and hide.
Persevere: It’s okay to fail as long as you fail fast and go straight to plan B.
Choose to use see your failure as a “life lesson” and use it as a springboard to your next big thing and you will feel more empowered and in control of your life and less like a victim.
Feeling like a victim is lot like jumping into a boat without oars. It’s a bad move that won’t get you anywhere.
There are no victims, only volunteers – you always have a choice. –Unkown
In 2008 after the collapse of Wall Street my profession crumbled under my feet.
From 2008 on my income was cut in half year after year after year until I was living off my hard earned savings. I eventually I sold my home to get out of debt and so I wouldn’t go broke. It was hard to give up my dream house and move but you know what? No one said “boo” about it. The only noise I heard came from in between my ears.
The great thing that came out of it was that I was so eager to find a new profession where my destiny was under my own control that I decided try blogging. My first blog was born in 2008. It was pretty awful and I knew it.
Since my background was in banking and finance and I’d been trained in financial planning I decided I would be the next Suzie Orman. I set up a website dispensing financial advice but I soon grew bored and began writing what was in my heart; personal-development articles. Eventually I walked away from it. It’s hard to keep up your enthusiasm for a topic you aren’t interested in.
I learned a lot and when I finally decided to start my second blog in 2010 my past experience made all the difference in making Powered by Intuition a success.
Failing as a “financial blogger” was the springboard to my next big thing. Here’s why:
1. I realized I hadn’t followed my heart (my intuition) when I decided to be a financial blogger. This realization was the catalyst for starting Powered by Intuition.
What You Can Do: Listen to your intuition and follow your heart so you go with the flow instead of against it. Doing something purely for the sake of making money (unless you love it) will burn you out. Listening to your intuition is how you will find that thing that lights you up. Here’s a secret for you…..the reason you’re attracted to “that thing that lights you up” is because inside you already possess the talent and ability to do it! You wouldn’t be pulled toward doing it unless it was already a talent innate to you so, the point is….you’re meant to do it.
2. Forcing myself to post on my financial blog was a lot like going to work every day. It wasn’t what I really wanted to be doing. I found a million other things to do just when I was about to sit down to write.
Here’s A Clue: Forcing yourself to be a “round peg in a square hole” is a big clue! Where are you doing this in your life? This area may contribute to a downfall so act as soon as possible to get on the right track in your life. Remember, you have to have a burning desire to do whatever it is you want to do or it will always feel like work and drain you. When you zero in on what lights you up your life will flow much more easily because even when you encounter challenges and setbacks (and you will) you’ll have a stronger desire to work through them.
3. After a few months I ran out of inspiration to write for my financial blog. I was a subject matter expert but I wasn’t passionate about it. You have to be passionate about what your doing.
Find your WHY: Passion and being on-purpose along with business savvy are mutually important factors in success. There’s an ongoing debate between whether you should follow your passion or not. I believe you need to be inspired by what you’re doing and what inspires you is what you have a passion for. You need to have an underlying reason why you’re doing it – and it can’t be just “to make money.” The “why” will sustain you and feed you to apply creativity to the product creation and problem solving aspects of your business.
4. I had no training as a blogger–and it showed. I didn’t know that blogging was different from the freelance writing I’d been doing for local newspapers and magazines. Having a blogging mentor after I started PbI was one of the smartest things I did. I learned the real ins and outs of how to get traffic, write for a blog, SEO, keywords and much more.
Get a mentor: There are mentors who have done whatever it is you want to accomplish. Don’t waste precious time trying to figure it out yourself. Get help early on in your venture. Do not talk yourself into waiting until you make the money to afford a mentor. This is a huge mistake. The way to succeed is to learn what works the first time. Doing it on your own doesn’t mean you can’t succeed it just ensures that you will take much, much longer because you’ll make mistakes that set you back.
5. When I was writing my first blog I was alone on the world wide web. There was no one to comment on my posts and no one to “talk shop” with. Most of my “real life friends” had no clue nor any interest in what I was doing. They were flummoxed by the amount of time I was putting into my new venture. Joining a community of people I found support, mentorship and like-minded people who had the “blogging itch” like me. I consider some of these people to be among my best friends now even though we may be separated by thousands of miles.
Don’t go it alone: Joining a community of like-minded people bolsters your confidence and helps you achieve your dreams. They “get” you even when your own family or friends don’t. This is really important if you are going to be among the small percentage of new ventures that succeeds. If you listen only to the “nay-sayers” you’re going to give up before you give yourself a fighting chance to succeed.
Of all the things I do in my online business writing about intuition and personal-development is always at the top of the list along with private client work. I’m so grateful for my failure as a financial blogger…and for the fire the collapse of Wall Street put under my feet to find something else to do with my life or I wouldn’t be here writing this today.
How do you see your own failures? Are they life lessons? Did you use them to springboard to your next big thing?
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Have you faced one obstacle after another lately?
Has upheaval caused the bottom to fall out from your life?
Take heart. You are not alone but a member of the club called “life.”
The spiritual message behind stress, struggles and upheaval is in simple terms this: Evolve or die. You are a here to learn how to deal with problems so acknowledge your difficulties, master your circumstances and learn how to cope with what life throws at you. All life forms must adapt to an ever changing environment. Every lesson you face in life is a lesson that you are being given an opportunity to master; like it or not.
Did your spouse abandon you?
Are you in dire circumstances financially?
Do constant roadblocks thwart your efforts to achieve your goals?
Is the stress and pressure of life choking you?
Then look closely because there is a lesson in there somewhere. If fact, whatever you are facing that is difficult and stressful is a lesson that you are here to master.
The very nature of life is change. Without the stress and friction caused by change you wouldn’t be forced to grow, to fulfill your potential and evolve. Anyone who tells you life is supposed to be trouble free is either lying to you or ignorant. There is no living creature on the planet that doesn’t have to deal with challenges of some sort. Even animals have the daily challenge of finding food and making sure they don’t become meals themselves to some other animal.
Within every challenge you face is a spiritual message about what you are supposed to be learning. If you get quiet and listen you will understand the higher meaning behind what you are going through and what you are meant to learn from this challenge.
The message might be any number of things:
- You cannot be all things to all people. Meaning develop your self esteem.
- Let go and stop trying to control everyone and every circumstance in life. Meaning you are driven by your many fears.
- Face reality and accept what you cannot change and move on. Meaning you are stuck in the past.
- Pay attention to what you have, not what you don’t and give thanks. Meaning you are too focused on the negative instead of the good.
The bottom line is this, once you hear this message, internalize it and take the right action the challenges and struggles will begin to sort themselves out. Things may not shake out the way you want them to but your life will begin moving forward again. And that is progress and that is how you will learn and evolve.
Life is not all smooth sailing. There are times when there are great storms in life and you, as the captain of your ship must learn to navigate through the storms. If you cannot weather the storm you will perish and that is the underlying motivation for solving your problems. But the good news is that once you learn to navigate a storm or two you never forget how to do it. The skills and confidence you acquire through making your way out of challenging circumstances stays with you for the rest of your life and will prevent you from getting caught by the same pitfalls in the future.
How do you hear the message encoded within struggles?
By going within and listening to your inner voice, your inner wisdom; your intuition.
Whenever life becomes too much to manage – stop – and know that you’ve veered off course somewhere. It’s time to go back to basics and listen to what that wise inner voice has been telling you all along. Your intuition will not only tell you the truth about the spiritual lesson you must learn but illuminate where you went off course and what to do about it. Once you understand how you went wrong and taken action to get back on track you have mastered another lesson and hopefully will never make the same mistake again.
Why do we make the same mistakes?
If you are seeing a pattern of the same kind of mistakes over and over you must first forgive yourself and then realize that we all learn in our own time. If you see this pattern just now it only means that you were not ready to internalize the message until this present moment.
The fact that you are ready though is cause for celebration! You are now ready to awaken and that means that things will change for the better soon enough.
So here’s how to understand the meaning behind stress, struggles and upheaval in life and what to do about it:
1. Realize that stress and struggles are simply signs that something needs to change – namely YOU as you cannot change others only yourself. Nor do struggles imply that you are inept or being punished. If you think such a thing release this belief at once.
2. Take stock of what you have. Look over your life and and count your blessings. What do you have that is good? Make a gratitude list for everything and read it several times a day. To get out of a downward spiral you must look up!
3. Close your eyes and go within. Relax and ask your higher intuitive self, that wisest part of you, to show you the reason for all the stress and struggle in your life. To reveal to you where you went off course and where you may have stuck your head in the sand and what to do about it now.
This is a very important step. Don’t skip it. What you will find is that your inner wisdom – your intuition– was trying to get your attention all along. What you will learn about yourself will expand your conscious awareness of how your inner wisdom communicates with you. And this will be an invaluable lesson going forward for now you will have a blueprint for the next time you are dealing with a challenge.
4. Recognize that there will always be circumstances in your life that are beyond your control. You know you cannot control the actions of others. The only thing you can control is your reaction. Learn to roll with the punches and not tense up and a huge source of self-created stress will subside.
5. Understand that where there is struggle there may also be selective blindness. Ask yourself what you are refusing to see about this situation and yourself? How might your actions be perpetuating the situation. You must be brutally honest. And, never forget that “wherever you go – there you are.”
6. When the bottom falls out of your life due to upheavals it’s natural to sink to your knees and plead and beg with Universe to restore life as you knew it but, highly unlikely that it will happen. Bottoms fall out of lives every day and for the same reason; the life you knew was on shaky ground.
When shaky ground gives it is because we chose to tolerate or overlook many things from the beginning of the situation. The solid foundation was never there but we deluded ourselves and refused to see this in order to stay in our comfort zone.
An upheaval in your life is the greatest sign that you need to grow – to evolve. It says this other situation wasn’t healthy and was holding you back from growing and reaching your full potential and that is why it crumbled. See it as a new door opening. A door that will lead you to freedom, new possibilities and a new life. Take stock of your present reality no matter how painful, accept what is, work with it and move on toward your new life and new you.
7. To lesson the likelihood of the bottom dropping out of your life again develop a habit of reviewing each day. Be honest. Acknowledge your fears, feel your feelings and reflect on your reactions to daily stresses and challenges. Deal with your problems before they snowball out of control again. Address any needed changes and seek help if necessary.
The trick to being successful at navigating life’s problems is to face them immediately and to interpret their spiritual meaning. Ask yourself what you need to learn from this situation and how it will benefit your overall growth? Accepting the lesson is the first step in taking back control of your life. Now you will see it all clearly and honestly and be able to deal with what is. If you can do this you can also make course corrections before life becomes unmanageable.
Accept that life will always present challenges. Welcome them and know that by dealing with problems you will grow more capable each time. And as you grow more capable you will develop a stronger sense of faith that all of life always unfolds perfectly, no matter what has happened, to support your growth and spiritual development.
Know that the most successful people are successful not because they have never struggled but because they learned how to deal with challenges and navigate through them. If you’d like to learn more about how mentoring can help you become more confident and empowered “click here for a Complimentary Life Direction Clarity Session with me.“
What challenges are you facing? What is their underlying meaning in your life? What do you most need to learn from this situation now?
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Can tragedy become an unexpected gift in our lives?
This is a guest post for Powered by Intuition by Jennifer Boykin.
It’s been just over twenty years since I held my newborn daughter Grace while she died.
People will tell you that no one should outlive their child, and they are right. Nobody wants to be a member of the “parents of dead babies club,” but, we are out there. And, having lived through it, I can say – in fact I MUST say – that, if you really, really want it, you CAN find a way through your suffering, no matter what you’ve lost.
But I was ornery enough to insist that settling for just “getting through” that loss would not be enough. I wanted to TRIUMPH over the suffering, because I realized pretty early on that the best way to honor my daughter’s memory was to make it serve some good use.
When you “do your grief work,” you not only serve as a beacon of hope for others, you also uncover deep and lasting reserves of strength and resilience inside yourself. One way or another, your losses will shape you and the way you live the remainder of your days.
That’s because, when it comes to loss, you either Get Bitter. Or, you Get Better.
If you decide that better is better for you, here are some steps you can take to move yourself through your sorrow so that you can harness the amazing transformational power of loss and suffering:
In order to get through loss, you have to be willing to give up your “story.”
Really, really, it is a very dramatic thing to be the parent of a dead child. And there are individuals and even entire communities that will give you unlimited attention for this for the rest of your life.
But, is that really the kind of attention you want? Unless you are willing to give up your story of loss, betrayal, and suffering, you are doomed to carry it forward with you wherever you go. You become defined by your loss. To just the extent that you choose to hold the loss in your heart and mind, to just that extent do you squander the possible moments of joy that would have been available to you. The cost of martyrdom is joy.
In order to get through loss, you have to understand the duality of change.
Endings and beginnings are simply the yin and yang of change. One defines the other. And one can NEVER be present without the other. Thus, if you choose to spend the rest of your days with the love of your life, you “lose” forever the freedoms of your single days. Never again can you just do what you want to do when you want to do it. You trade that freedom for companionship. Loss is intrinsic in every joy that you have ever had.
Indeed, loss is intrinsic in all of life, and yet, as a culture, we seek to deny and avoid loss. Once you understand the futility of expecting a life free of sorrow, you are free to REALLY embrace loving and the absolute breathtaking JOY of LIVING! Sorrow is the bill that comes due for the price of loving. Accept that and you are free.
You can mitigate ANY loss by harnessing its transformative power.
Grief has an energy of its own. It will have its way with you, until it doesn’t. But you can help yourself through. Learn to set boundaries around your suffering. Make appointments with it, in fact, so that you begin to carve out some moments where you focus on reclaiming your joy and your light.
Your losses are going to change you.
What this means is that your losses are going to make new discoveries, new soul-places, new visions available to you that WERE NOT POSSIBLE before the loss. Before my baby died, I didn’t know what I didn’t know. And now I do.
Here’s what I know:
• All healing is possible,
• There is joy in loss because loss is borne in love,
• There is transformation in loss because the bereaved has a deeper capacity to love,
• Loss hollows out your soul and,
• You either Get Bitter,
• Or, you Get Better.
• But, you can’t have both.
BECAUSE I am Grace’s mother, I ABSOLUTELY KNOW that life is too short – life is too uncertain – to spend one moment living timidly. We are meant to embrace life, to wrest from it every exquisitely beautiful moment we can, to flower and grow and shape and change and serve those around us.
Still, even the most beautiful blossom has a dormant season. The next time you are suffering, fear it less. Know that this period can be a gift of transformation, if you choose life instead of loss.
The only way out is through. Love yourself gently. Love yourself more fully. Embrace and celebrate the love you feel for others. Yes, there will be suffering when love ends. But only because there was GREAT JOY while it was here.
Has your life been touched by loss? How did you heal? How did it change you? What helpful advice can you share with others about it?
Jennifer Boykin is the Creator of, Life After Tampons. Jennifer has written a free 5-part guide to healing from loss. If you’d like for her to send you the program, please let her know here.
P.S. Learn more about using your intuition click here.
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Trusting our intuition often saves us from disaster. –Anne Wilson Schae
When you listen to your intuition you avoid many of the problems that are created by ignoring your intuition when making decisions.
Are you healing from an accident that could have been avoided like my friend Sandi?
Did you ignore the signs of an unfaithful spouse?
Were you so attached to keeping up pretenses that you are now facing a bankruptcy?
Are you struggling to stay afloat, sane, grounded, focused and together enough to put the pieces of your life back together?
Often it’s our mistakes that call our attention to the fact that we’ve ignored our intuition. When we look back over the things that have gone wrong in our lives we remember that there was this little nagging voice at the back our mind telling us not to do what we did but, we chose to ignore it.
Recently a reader asked me if his life would always be problem-free if he followed his intuition.
I’ve written many times here on Powered by Intuition and in “The Intuition Principle” that allowing your intuition to guide you is the way to creating a life that “flows effortlessly toward your desires.”
When your life flows effortlessly toward your desires you encounter fortunate coincidences such as synchronicty and serendipity, that move you along the path toward your goals. A fortunate coincidence is the result of you being in the right place at the right time or taking action at the right time so that you are moving along a trajectory that intersects with another person or situation that turns out to be just the opportunity you need.
Why do fortunate coincidences occur?
The reason you meet with these fortunate coincidences is because you’ve followed your intuition when making decisions. Had you not listened to the impulse to pick up the phone and call “so and so” or gone to a certain place on this day at this time you would have never made this connection. Listening to your inner voice is listening to wisdom from within.
At the time the impulse to do this or that arises you cannot explain it. There is no “rational” reason for wanting to the thing you’re being prompted to do. It’s only after the event of being in the right place or having something you need fall into your lap that you understand why you were being “pulled” to do what you did. This is what I mean when I say, “your life will flow effortlessly toward your desires.”
Ignoring intuition is a lot like touching a hot stove: You need only get burned once to know that ignoring your intuition is NOT a good idea!
What about problems?
This doesn’t mean that your car won’t ever break down, your spouse announce that they want a divorce, a hacker steal your information, a broken pipe flood your basement, you won’t ever get laid off from your job…and on and on and on – essentially life will go on and **s__t** will still happen!
What you can expect if you follow your inner guidance is that you will avoid making wrong decisions that create more problems by going ahead with things when your intuition is warning you against it. By following your inner wisdom you will meet with fortunate coincidences that will propel your life forward toward your goals and desires. But, you have to realize that things will still go wrong at times and happen in your life that will be out of your control.
Intuition can be your silver lining
On the other hand, when you follow your intuition you will be able to solve your problems more elegantly. Your intuitive insight will inspire you with ideas about solutions you can take about your situation so that when you do have to deal with problems you will find your way back to normalcy faster and more easily.
We are here to learn life lessons
Unfortunately, most of us learn the hard way – me included – by making mistakes, some of them really, really big. Each time we make a mistake if we are enlightened we will look over what happened and honestly assess what role our behavior played in contributing to the situation and take steps to change what we do in the future. Most of us aren’t born perfect so our lives aren’t perfect either. Making mistakes is part our journey and how we acquire wisdom and experience.
Intuition is not magical but it sure does help~
When you are accustomed to listening to the wisdom of your inner voice you are also more open to being honest about your faults and to working at changing your behavior. This is a boon when it comes to dealing with problems. If you are not under the tight control of your ego you will see your part in what has happened and learn from it so that it doesn’t happen again. And you will be better able to manage the situation from this point forward to move toward a resolution. Listening to your inner voice will help you pick up the pieces of you life and put you back on the right path again.
So, while following your intuition does not guarantee that your life will be free of problems it is a very positive habit to cultivate overall, especially when you are down on your luck.
If you see your life circumstances in this article use the following suggestions to help you get your life back on track:
1. Take some time each day to get quiet. Close your eyes and go within. Ask for guidance and inner wisdom to show you how your underlying motivations may have contributed to creating the life circumstances you are dealing with now. Resist the urge to blame others and point fingers.
If any instances of ignoring your intuition in the past come to mind that may have also contributed to the problems you are now facing, use this knowledge of how your intuition sounded and felt to learn what to look for in the future.
We can only do better once we know better. This is the time to learn what we can do better next time.
2. Forgive yourself and anyone else that is involved. Forgiveness doesn’t mean that we absolve someone of wrong doing. It means that we let go and stop being tethered to this dark cloud of anger and seething emotions that follows us everywhere.
Refusing to forgive literally “clouds” your judgement and creates a huge shadow over your life. Everything appears dark and drab under the shadow of this cloud. If you could let go of it you would be engulfed in sunshine and feel better and positive enough to see that you can and will rise above your current circumstances.
3. Listen for your intuition. Tell yourself that you are open to hearing this wisdom. Ask that you be given answers and solutions to dealing with your current problem.
Ask to be intuitively inspired to contact the right people or to go to the right places at the right time to find the answers and solutions you need.
What is your intuition prompting you to do next? Keep a list of what your inner voice is saying. Review the list and see what speaks to you most and then do it.
If you have a nagging feeling at the back of your mind telling you to do something or not do something listen to it!
Your intuition is a marvelous shortcut to the answers and solutions you seek and to getting over the mountain range of your obstacles. My friend Rob White says, “Intuition offers a short cut, like a tunnel through a mountain range,” and he is right.
You can and will rise from the ashes of your own life when you begin to tune into your intuition.
Can you see how ignoring your intuition in the past may have contributed to the struggles you are now facing? What have you learned about how your intuition speaks to you? Can you describe what to look for next time so you won’t have to hit another low point in your life?
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P.S I have lots more to say about intuition and how to use it in your life. Check out my books here.
Have you been following the book tour for The Intuition Principle? Check out these marvelous articles by these awesome participating blogger here:
Day 22: Intuition is an Ability Natural to All
Day 23: How to Attract the Life You Dream Of Plus a Giveaway!
Day 24: Book Review: A Late Bloomer’s Most-Overlooked Resource
Day 25: How to Flow With the Current of Life
Day 25: Using Your Sacred Gift
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