Beyond the edge of your comfort zone is where you will find your greatness!
Is there a goal you’ve been struggling to achieve or a life change you long to make?
Have you tried and tried and yet nothing seems to change?
Are you so frustrated that you’re ready to give up because nothing is working?
Wait! Don’t walk away from your dreams yet. I have good news for you.
Hitting the invisible wall
The reason nothing has changed or seems to to work is because you’ve hit an invisible wall. The invisible wall is the place you reach when you come to edge of your comfort zone. So, don’t feel bad or as if you weren’t meant to achieve your goal. What is happening to you is normal and natural. You just need a bit of guidance.
Deconstructing the wall
The invisible wall at the edge of your comfort zone is what stops you from taking the big steps you need to take to bring your greatest dreams into being. Everyone including me has a comfort zone.
Your comfort zone is the place where you achieve things easily. Goals feel scalable because you’ve done similar things and accomplished them easily. You whip up and finish projects without a second thought because the process is familiar to you.
But when you reach the edge of your comfort zone and go to do something completely new you freeze. The smooth reaction that would normally take you to the next step doesn’t come naturally like you expect it to. Instead you feel confused and overwhelmed, flooded with doubt, anxiety and fear. Does this sound familiar?
Every time you attempt to take the new step the fears of not knowing exactly what to do or how it will turn out stop you. You feel like a deer caught in the headlights and panic and retreat. The more you “try” the more firmly you embed the fear and anxiety of taking the next step.
Overtime this reaction contributes to making the wall even more impenetrable. Your fearful reaction and retreat become a self-defeating behavior that holds you back. You internalize the belief that you “can’t do it” and feel deflated as your confidence level decreases. The more you repeat this process the bigger the wall becomes until you have talked yourself into believing that this goal you dreamed about was never meant for you anyway and you give up.
The trap of Try, Fear, Retreat
If you don’t know how to break the cycle, Try, Fear, Repeat will become an endless loop in your life. This behavior will burn such a deep neural pathway into your brain that it will become an unconscious behavior pattern. When a set of reactions is this ingrained within us the pattern takes over with lightening speed before we can consciously think about doing anything differently.
Here’s an example: Can you recall a time, perhaps many, when you drove somewhere and then later realized you had no memory of actually doing the driving? You realize that you drove there on “auto-pilot.” This is exactly what happens to us when we repeat a certain set of behaviors over and over; they become an auto responsive pattern. The pattern is so deeply imbedded that it bypasses your conscious awareness.
In the case of trying to go past the edge of your comfort zone, each time you try and feel the old fears kicking in and retreat you reinforce this self-defeating pattern. And the worst part is that you end up feeling like a failure.
The good news!
Hitting this wall is normal and happens to most people. There is nothing wrong with you. There is a way to breakthrough the wall of your comfort zone. And success awaits you on the other side.
You can break the cycle of Try, Fear, Retreat with this 5 step system:
1. Write it out. List the exact steps you need to take. This is an important part of breaking through the wall of your comfort zone so don’t skip it. You need to create an outline so that you will be familiar with the next step and not freeze with fear. After you have the list chunk it down into daily actions so that it isn’t overwhelming to you. Read over your list and be completely familiar with it. If you want more information on this I wrote extensively about this process in, The Intuition Principle: How to Attract the Life You Dream Of.”
2. Deflate your fears. The best way to let all the air out of your fear is to ask yourself, “What’s the worst thing that could happen here?” followed by, “So how can I prepare so that this doesn’t happen?”
For example say you want to quit your job and pursue your writing but you’re scared to give up your steady salary. Ask yourself, “What’s the worst thing that could happen?” You respond with, “I’ll go broke, lose my house and end up homeless.”
Then ask yourself, “How can I prepare so that this doesn’t happen?” In response you say, “I’m going to save up the amount of money I’ll need to pay my mortgage for one year before I quit. I will give myself eight months to get my writing career started. If after eight months I don’t see things working out I will start looking for a job.” When fear paralyzes you go back to this step.
You get the picture. You’re answers will be different but the outcome will be the same. You will nip your fear in the bud before it can paralyze you into not taking action on your dream.
3. Visualize. Use your imagination to create a vivid 5 minute movie at least twice a day. I suggest once in the morning and before going to bed. See yourself living out your goal in every detail. What you’re doing is rehearsing and slowly erasing the negative pattern you previously embedded. Burn this positive outcome into your brain so that it creates a deep neural pathway and a new pattern of success!
4. Push yourself. Repeat this mantra, “I can and I am!” with conviction. Focus on one step on your outline and take action every day. No great thing was ever created without effort, overcoming fear and pushing through barriers. Just do it! Each time you take a step toward your goal you are taking a brick out of the wall at the edge of your comfort zone and you’re building your confidence.
5. Get support. It’s okay to ask for help. When you get support be it through a mentor, friend or with a coach you increase the likelihood of your success. Working with a someone who believes in you to achieve your goals will significantly increase your chances of attaining it over those who try to go it alone. (If you have a burning desire to get where you want to go contact me for a life purpose reading to discuss your vision.)
Are you stuck in the loop of try, fear, retreat? Would you benefit from support? Share with us in the comments.
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P.S. Learn how to follow your intuition to achieve your dreams – click here!
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