We all have dreams. But in order to make dreams come into reality, it takes an awful lot of determination, dedication, self-discipline, and effort. –Jesse Owens
Years ago I met a playwright. Actually, let me rephrase that – I didn’t meet her she came into my life as a temp office worker.
One morning a top heavy woman in a low cut blouse, short skirt, wearing red cowboy boots showed up to fill in for my secretary. I showed her to the desk in the reception area outside my office. Before taking off her fringed suede cowboy jacket she pulled a small booklet out of her pocket and placed it on the desk.
While she hung up her jacket in the closet I glanced at the booklet titled, “Backstage.”
“Are you an actress?” I asked very proud of myself for knowing what this magazine was used for.
The woman gave me an icy stare before answering, “No, I’m a playwright.” It was obvious that she felt that being a playwright was superior to being an actor.
While I worked in the financial industry I was a writer in my spare time so, meeting someone who was so bold as to announce that she was a playwright was very intriguing, to say the least.
Fast forward a few months and we became friends.
I was so envious of her life. She was the author of a successful series of young adult novels and lived in in Manhattan Plaza, a subsidized apartment complex for members of the performing arts. She also wrote periodically for a television soap opera and worked temp jobs only when she needed extra money. She spent the rest of her time writing and hanging out with other cool “artists” in coffee shops and cafes.
To say I was impressed would have been putting it mildly. I’d never met anyone like her. She was living her dream – actually my dream. I was invited to her wedding where I was seated next to her agent. Later I became an associate producer for her play which was performed at several regional theaters.
It was all just too good to be true.
The only problem was that while I was living vicariously through her my life didn’t change one bit. She kept urging me to quit my job and do what I loved but, I was afraid to give up the security. I was also afraid of what people would think of me.
Eventually we lost touch when she moved to L.A.
So, why am I telling you all this?
When I look back on it now I realize that I while I thought I was bringing my dreams to life by hanging out with her and sharing my work with her agent – I was only “scheming.”
I thought that if I hung around with people who were doing what I wanted to do that my life would change.
It didn’t change though because I didn’t change. I was still too attached to my suits and briefcase. That was my identity and I couldn’t “dream” beyond it.
The Universe had synchronistically placed at my feet, a role model and path to show me that there were people doing what I only dreamed of doing but, I had been too insecure and scared to take the first step.
What I learned from this was that if you want “be” something you have to “be” that something inside or all the validation from the outside world will not make you believe it is the truth.
In other words you must be able to shout from the mountain tops with full confidence that you are already this “thing” that you dream of becoming.
For example, this friend thought I had talent as a writer. She introduced me to her agent who also thought I was talented. I was elated but, I had doubts and felt so insecure inside that nothing changed on the outside because I did not take action.
The reason why I was so taken by this woman when she announced with full confidence that she was a “playwright,” was because she was so sure of it. She wasn’t embarrassed about temping as a secretary. She didn’t say, “I’m hoping to have a play I’ve written produced but, in the meantime I’m temping……” She was already completely confident that she was a playwright.
Each of us needs to arrive at this same unshakeable conclusion inside if we wish to achieve our dreams.
When your beliefs inside match what you wish to achieve outside absolutely nothing will hold you back from achieving it.
In the meantime stop scheming. Stop trying to find “back doors” to do the thing you love. The only thing that will allow you to develop the confidence to shout out “I am…..this or that” with complete confidence is to practice doing the thing itself. No amount of rubbing elbows and social climbing can do that for you.
In order to arrive at this conclusion you will have to work hard at honing your craft – whatever that may be and not be tempted to take side entrances to getting where you want to go. And, I can guarantee you it won’t happen overnight either.
It took me 2o years to own my expertise and to finally write a book about to how to create a life you love by relying on your intuition – which is the book idea I pitched to the agent I mention in this article.
Be prepared to work hard and not give up
You will need to take classes, get training and practice, practice and practice some more. And, in doing so there will come a point when your beliefs will shift and you will no longer feel like a sham – and you own your brilliance. You will become a person who can shout to the whole world that you are who you say you are and then and only then will things change on the outside to match what you believe on the inside.
Are you the same person on the inside that you claim to be on the outside? Can you think of any instances in your life where you weren’t yet ready to own your goal?
If you enjoyed this interview please share it on Twitter, FB & G+. Thank you.
P.S. My book, The Intuition Principle is on tour. It reached #8 on Amazon today!
Check out these great interviews about the book by some great bloggers:
Day 10: http://www.projecthappilyeverafter.com/2012/05/is-intuition-bogus/
Day 10: http://www.arvinddevalia.com/blog/2012/05/23/power-of-intuition/
Day 11: http://www.thebridgemaker.com/the-intuition-principle/
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What an inspirational article! You have hit the nail on the head and I love how you have explained everything….we do not need to scheme. I have read the article at the right time. Thanks:)
Dear Jane,
I’m so glad you read this article at the right time and found it inspiring. Thank you so much for your comment. It’s a pleasure meeting you.
All my best,
Angela
Wow Angela, this article is so timely for where I’m at right now.
I was just writing an email to someone explaining how I felt and instead of writing it all out I just referenced the link to this article because it totally describes the process of what I’ve been experiencing.
I now “own my brilliance” and wouldn’t have it any other way. Thank you so much for sharing this.
Hi Heather,
I’m so glad this article was so timely for you.
When you are ready to own your brilliance you are ready to go places!
Thank you for sharing the link to this article too.
I love the way you describe yourself I see myself in you, until now I think I haven’t done what I really want to do very disappointing!
Hi Amanda,
I’m glad you enjoyed the post. I hope it helps you to see that we have to work on who we are inside first then the life we are looking for will arise on the outside.
Thank you for visiting and thank you for leaving a comment.
This is a great story greatly told! Loved your description of your first encounter with your new friend. And congratulations on your book’s success.
Dear Galen,
I’m glad you enjoyed this story and the description….I left out that her blouse was “leopard print!”
Thank you so much!
“What I learned from this was that if you want “be” something you have to “be” that something inside or all the validation from the outside world will not make you believe it is the truth.”
WOW Angela – so true and so powerful. People can sit on the sidelines and observe, they can even walk beside those who are along their own journey – but nothing will happen until one does their own changes and takes their own steps.
Pretty powerful indeed.
CONGRATULATIONS on taking the journey and taking the leaps and endless hours of work & staying the course. I truly wish you all the success in the world!
HI Aileen,
Thank you!
You cannot and will not be “ready” until the moment your consciousness is ready.
xoxo
What a great coincidence of subject matter. Yesterday, while tidying up my office, I came across a book, “The Energy of Money,” by Maria Nemeth, Ph.D. She emphasizes that when you put your energy (time/effort/finances) into doing that which aligns with who you really are and what your Life Intentions are, then you find fulfillment that brings joy and real meaning to your life. Angela finally put her energy into something she loves, writing about intuition, and the result has been far more rewarding than hoping to achieve a dream through osmosis.
I just turned to a random page in Dr. Nemeth’s book. Quote: “Life is hard when you don’t do what you truly value because you are putting all your energy into trying to get rid of your fears rather than into materializing your dreams.”
I cannot recommend this book highly enough for anyone who is (like me) seesawing between what we really want to do and playing it safe. Maybe too safe 🙂
Thank you Celeste! I so appreciate your input and sharing this great information here!
Hi Angela,
Indeed nothing really changes until we change and to change, we must change inside.
Truly the playwright friend you met is a great inspiration to those who have big dreams.
There are many things and many fears that hold us back from pursuing our dreams. To compensate, we scheme as you rightly point out. We try to find back doors while holding on to security, to have our cake and eat it. But such half-hearted attempts will never help us to attain our dreams.
We have to give it our all or not at all. The journey will not be easy, this is why we have to focus with all our strength and effort. But it will be one of the few things in life that we regret because we live the lives we were meant to live.
Thank you for sharing this lovely article!
Irving the Vizier
Irving,
I love what you said here:
You summed up the entire article beautifully. I couldn’t agree more.
Thank you!
We are all guilty of doing this at some point, aren’t we? In some sense, it helps by letting us explore options, if we’d like to use it that way. Living through other peoples’ dreams is like focusing on our clothes and not on ourselves, no?
Wonderful post and what a great lesson!
As my Grandmother used to say, hard work is usually never fatal.
Love & Hugs, Vidya
Hi Vidya,
I love the saying from your grandmother!
It’s great to be inspired by others but we have to own our own future and develop the confidence in ourselves to take action.
Hi Angela:
Great post and story. I can totally relate.
The funny thing is that I have also found the people that proudly say who they are or what they do can sometimes be more talk than substance. It is a fine art of owning who you and pursuing your dreams, but not selling yourself at all times.
I guess because I work in the world of speakers, I am constantly being sold to 🙂
– Wendy
Hi Wendy,
It’s great to see you. I hope all is well.
This woman was the real deal. She since went on to win a Newberry award and one of her books was made into a film.
But, I do know what you mean though.
“When your beliefs inside match what you wish to achieve outside absolutely nothing will hold you back from achieving it.” Yes! I totally agree!
I see this as part of aligning everything, and I mean Everything with your Big Dream: thoughts, actions, beliefs, relationships, activities, schedule—the whole kit and kaboodle. All aligned and pointed to that One Thing, the Dream that draws you forward.
Thanks for sharing this personal story!
Hi Shawn,
So true when every fiber of our being and all areas of our life our aligned – watch out! There’s a wave that’s going to take us to our destination coming!
You’re welcome. So glad you enjoyed it.
Hi Angela,
Yes the outsides and the insides have to match! No apologies or sweeping who you are under the rug, regardless of the company.
It’s funny you put it this way. I always knew who I was at core, and that has never wavered. I am the same, no matter where I am or in what company, and I was always OK with what I was doing. What has changed a lot is the “what” and my own understanding of what I am here to do. All of that is what is evolving and coming to the surface. I love how you always knew who you were – a writer.
Hi Julie,
I think we are here to evolve so when I thought I was this high powered executive – it was okay for then. I needed to learn certain lessons.
For you doing what you did in the past was okay as well. Now it’s time for you to move on and master other lessons.
I’m glad you always knew who you were at your core. That’s a huge blessing.
I was never sure….I only knew that I dreamed of being a writer.
This is a terrific story Angela…thankyou for bringing it to Life
be good to yourself
David
Thank you David.
I’m glad you enjoyed it!
Angela,
Thank you so much for bringing this to light for me. A couple days ago I was catching up with a collegue who has only known me as my corporate persona. I mentioned my blog to him and noticed that I spoke about it like it wasn’t really important. I find that I try to hide it and all the awesome plans I have for it from anyone who only knows the corporate me. Starting today, that’s changing. I needed this message right between the eyes to make it happen.
Wow Paige,
I can relate to this 1000 percent!
I too minimize the importance of what I’m doing to most people who are not bloggers.
I’m so glad you this got you “right between the eyes!”
Awesome.
How relevant! I have had the same issue – but in a slightly different way. For those who don’t blog, it seems like a trivial online “thing” to do. Just like when I say I am a freelance writer, the assumption is I sit for hours in front of the screen doing mindless typing. 🙂 Depending on who we are talking to, the reaction can be quite frustrating, because their minds are closed to alternative explanations, as they’ve already judged. Ugh. Happens even with family relatives. Some are also snooty about social media, which is quite hilarious because when they need info, guess who they turn to!
Great point, Paige and Angela!
Vidya,
Yes, it is isn’t it? When we trivialize what we do – we not only get no respect from others we lose respect for ourselves.
Loved this. Own your brilliance, stop scheming, believe in yourself enough to be outside what you want to be inside.
Hi Linda,
I’m so glad you enjoyed this article. It’s a pleasure meeting you too!
Thank you for leaving your comment.