Let us forgive each other – only then will we live in peace. —Leo Nikolaevich Tolstoy
I’m sorry. Forgive me. Thank you. I love you.
Have you heard this mantra? It is from Ho’oponopono.
Ho’oponopono is an ancient healing practice of forgiveness from Hawaii practiced throughout Polynesian cultures.
“Ho’oponopono” is defined as “mental cleansing: family conferences in which relationships were set right through prayer, discussion, confession, repentance, and mutual restitution and forgiveness.”(Wikepedia)
I first heard this mantra, “I’m sorry, please forgive me, thank you, I love you,” in a book by author Joe Vitale titled, “The Awakening Course: The Secret to Solving All Problems.”
Vitale wrote about how he’d heard of therapist who worked for the Hawaii State Hospital for the mentally ill who had used this mantra to heal almost all the inmates. The therapist did not see the patients he merely read their charts and constantly repeated the mantra. After two years most of the inmates were released.
Vitale was so fascinated by this story that he tracked down the therapist, Ihalekala Hew Len, to find out all he could about his method.
Len believed that we are individually responsible for anything and everything that comes into our lives. His belief is that if you create your own reality, and a mentally ill patient shows up in your experience, you created the experience of that person.
In order to restore their mental health Len had to ask the Divine to forgive him for whatever he had done to co-create that person in his life.
While reading the charts of these mental patients, many of whom had committed extreme violence, Len would become angry and upset. He would take his “feeling” and offer it the Divine to be healed.
Vitale describes how he used the mantra:
“He’s taking the feeling to the Divine, and he’s kind of offering a prayer. He’s offering a petition. He’s saying to the Divine, “I’m sorry. I have no idea what in me co-created this person, but I’m accepting that the person is in my life. Please forgive me for whatever I have done in my life, in my past, in my present. I’m not aware of what I did, but please forgive me for that.” He goes on to say, “Thank you. Thank you for taking care of this. Thank you for cleaning this. Thank you for taking care of this whole situation.” He ended it by saying, “I love you,” which, as I found out, were the three most powerful words you could say. He’s saying, “I love you,” not to himself, not to the person that he’s thinking about, not to his file. He’s saying it to the Divine. He’s saying it to God. He’s saying, “I love you,” and by doing so, he’s going into a state of surrender.” (p.71-72)
After I read this I started using the mantra whenever I felt upset by anyone or any situation in my life.
And, you know what? It worked.
I found I was no longer upset nor could bringing up the person or the problem trigger those feelings in me again.
I was free!
What a wonderful feeling.
Why does this mantra work?
When we realize that we are part of the problem even if we don’t know how – we say, “I’m sorry.”
If it’s as simple as having an argument with a friend, you are part of the problem. If it is something less obvious such as when Len felt he somehow co-created the mentally ill patients; take responsibility for drawing this situation to yourself, even if it is not technically your fault.
We always have thoughts cycling through our minds whether we realize it or not that are not in alignment with our highest intentions. Be repeating the mantra over and over we neutralize those negative thought patterns.
Ask the Divine to forgive you for whatever thoughts within you drew you into or created the situation.
When we as to be “forgiven” it humbles us. It brings down the ego. When you remove the ego’s attachment to “being right and who was wrong,” you can move past the problem and release those negative feelings much more easily.
Thank the Divine for forgiving you.
We acknowledge that we have received the divine blessing of forgiveness and give thanks for being freed from this negativity from the bottom of our hearts.
Tell the Divine, “I love you.”
Saying, “I love you,” says that you are most thankful for the grace of being forgiven. It also says that you are thankful for being given the gift of life and for another day to get it right!
Whenever you find yourself getting upset start repeating this mantra and see how your world changes around you.
If you have ever used this mantra what were you experiences? If not, are you willing to try it?
If you enjoyed this post please share it on Twitter, FB & Google+. Thank you.
P.S. Guess what? Today is the fourth day of “The Intuition Principle: How to Attract the Life You Dream Of,” Book Tour.
Nearly 40 generous online entrepreneurs have graciously offered to host me and my book on their websites for the next 30 days. I’m so excited about bringing my book to the world and so thankful to each of them.
Check out these fabulous bloggers and their articles/interview with me/review of the book here:
Day 4: http://www.blogtalkradio.com/britetalk/2012/05/17/how-to-develop-your-intuition
Day 5: http://www.reflectingalife.com/2012/05/18/connecting-to-the-world-wide-web-of-consciousness/
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This mantra is actually for us to repeat it quietly at the back of our mind all the time, regardless of whether we are aware of problems or not. We have millions of memories replaying per second and we are aware of only about 15 bits per second, so we can’t afford to be forgetting to clean all the time. As Dr. Hew Len said ceaseless cleaning is necessary.Just sharing my view on this matter.
THANK YOU I LOVE YOU.
Ahmad,
Yes, you’re right. We should be cleaning all the time but, for purposes of this article I am using the mantra to help people ease out of their addictive negative thought patterns.
Thank you so much for visiting and commenting here.
It is a pleasure to meet you.
All my best,
Angela
Angela,
I do this every morning with EFT and I know this is empowering- I also do it when I feel overwhelm and need to forgive myself of someone else:) xxoo
Suzie,
That sounds very powerful and very healing.
EFT is awesome!
I think there is no end to the uses for this mantra!~
xoxo
Hi Angela, good to see you again and I hope you’re well. In my own experience, when I can be completely honest about what I’m feeling with a person, I become able to love them fully, and the kind of attitude that’s expressed in the mantra you talked about naturally arises.
Hi Chris,
It’s great to see you again. I hope all is well?
I see you’ve written a musical. That’s fantastic. I wish you the best of luck with it!
I think you’ve hit a key point Chris.
When we are honest with ourselves we will acknowledge that we do contribute to everything that comes into our consciousness.
Thanks for sharing this amazing method, Angela.
I read about this a while ago and find it amazing that it’s not more commonly known. But your blog post will help more people learn about this.
I am going to apply it in all areas of my life from today:-)
Hi Arvind,
I only learned about it in January. I think it is so powerful.
I do hope more people start using it.
We need more peace in the world, don’t we?
So powerful & so beautiful!
Mantras really work – they really help to replace the other thoughts that keep us from our personal freedom.
When we are unable to forgive, we are without personal freedom.
Hi Aileen,
Yes, this one is especially powerful if you understand the meaning behind the statements.
I find myself repeating all the time now!
Mahalo Angela. I live in Hawaii and the mantra is somewhere in my vague memory, I’ve heard it somewhere before. It makes sense with many of the other healing Hawaiian practices I know. I’m grateful you brought it to my attention.
I will be practicing Ho’oponopono (I can even say that word) starting today!
I’ve had a mantra of my own. 6 words I say all the time. It’s brought amazing things into my life: Health Healing Prosperity Abundance Love Compassion
As always, love your stuff Angela.
Mahalo back to you dear Jt!
If you do plan on studying Ho’oponopono I’d love to hear all about it.
I love your mantra too. I covers all the basics of life.
Thank you so much for visiting and for being part of The Intuition Principle book tour.
xoxo,
Angela
Angela, I thank you from the bottom of my heart for this mantra today. I have tried it in parts before. Now, I will try the entire mantra. Seeking forgiveness from God for playing a part in negativity and then confessing love for God is SO very cleansing, I think.
Rose,
It’s my pleasure to be able to share what I have learned.
I’m so glad that you found this soo helpful!~
xoxo
Hi Angela,
Thank you for writing about this subject! It is such a transformative realization when you begin to see that everyone, everything and every event within your sphere of awareness is created by you. It is the ultimate form of owning your life, of taking responsibility for the conscious and unconscious. It is removing entirely the belief that you are the victim.
I like the term co-created, because when I think of ME, I imagine two entities. Little me (ego and here in physical) and Big me (divine here in spiritual). Little me doesn’t always understand why someone or some events happen (at least not in the moment), but I’ve begun to find some peace in the surrendering (still a progress) that Little me isn’t in control of everything, and that there are simply some experiences that Big me needs. I’ve begun to understand that the journey in life (at least for me) is the merging of the two.
I’ve used a similar forgiveness prayer / blessing for the past year too, and it has helped to cultivate compassion, and spread serenity within myself and in many of my personal interactions.
Thanks for sharing & shining a light on such a transformational approach to living.
So simple. Four little sentences cover a lot of ground. Very powerful. I’m going to repeat this one. Thank you.
Galen,
I am thrilled that you I could share something so helpful with you.
I want to hear all about how things change when and if you ever must us it.
i first heard this mantra from my boyfriend who said it to me during a misunderstanding.. yep, it is powerful! TOTALLY disarmed me! Melted away any resentment/frustration/anger etc I may have had..
Hi Janet,
What a pleasure to see you here again!
You have a very enlightened boyfriend.
Are you going to hang onto him? I hope so.
I read Joe Vitale’s book about his work with Len awhile back and like you, I was intrigued. And as much as I have a passion for personal development work of this nature, I am a skeptic! So I proceeded to try it out for myself. Also like you, I found it worked 🙂
Sometimes I find myself saying it for no particular reason. I just say it and it makes my skeptic smile inside, but it feels good so I keep going!
Hi Sandi,
Did you read “Zero Limits?” I haven’t read that one but, I’d sure like to.
I wasn’t a skeptic because I’d been using a similar mantra since becoming a Sahaja yogini in the late 1980s.
The Sahaja mantra was, “I forgive everyone including myself,” but I found this mantra to be much more comprehensive.
It really does work to take the emotional “zing” away after a conflict with someone.
LOL – I know….I think I left you a comment on your blog about wondering if I have some sort of compulsive disorder….I too find myself repeating it (and other weird things like telephone numbers?) over and over.
I think we might have the same disorder 😉
Too funny…..:-)
Hi Angela.. This is a very helpful post.. I just want to tell you that this can help a lot of people in terms of asking forgiveness..
Gisele,
It is such a pleasure meeting you.
Thank you so much for visiting and sharing here.
Please do come back anytime.
Hi Angela,
Interesting concept and I am willing to give it a try. It is a refreshing change from being defensive and trying to shift the blame onto someone else. I will keep that mantra in mind. Thank you.
Hi Cathy,
Yes, do give it a try. It’s so amazing how it heals the “ouch” in our relationships.
I find I can put things behind me so much more quickly now.
I used to use this mantra, “I forgive everyone including myself,” but I actually think this one is more comprehensive.
Let me know how your experience is with it.
Thank you Angela! I so needed this today. I’ve been dealing with lots of “family issues” after attending my brother’s wedding last weekend. Nothing like family gatherings to scratch the scab off of old wounds.
It’s high time that I healed those wounds within myself and I’ve been looking for something that will work. All of my usual practices haven’t quite been enough. After reading this article a couple times I can already feel things melting. Thank you so much!!
Paige,
Wow! That’s great. I’m so glad that I was able to introduce you to this healing practice.
I do know what it’s like to have the scabs scratched off and open an old wound again!
Wow Angela. I’d heard about this doctor meditating over his patients’ charts and healing them, but I hadn’t heard how he’d done it. That’s spectacular! The doctor healed himself and in so doing, was able to heal his patients. What a powerful reminder that all healing begins with ourselves!!!
I love this post!
Thanks so much for sharing this.
Huge hugs!
Melody
Hi Melody,
I know. It is the greatest demonstration that we are all one and that if we change/heal others change/heal around us.
Big hugs back to you girlfriend!
Hi Angela,
If I were to get a tattoo it would be these four lines. I’m actually pondering the idea.
It blew my mind how Dr. Hew Len cured these criminals by holding the files in his hands and repeating these words. To think he never spent any time with them shows the power of the mind.
Hubs and I began practicing these 4 lines when he lost his job 18 months after we moved across the country. We counteracted all the negative media and economic downturn with the mantra. We repeated it on our mindful walks. We repeated it when we were stuck or worried. We still repeat them when someone bugs us in traffic, when I’m worried about a daughter or grandchild, when I think of war or a politician I don’t agree with (major healing here, it’s nearly impossible to get me upset about one now), anytime I’m not at peace I continue to repeat these lines. It’s become as natural as my breath. I am responsible for what I see, do or feel…all of it. Amen;)
Tess,
What an amazing tattoo that would be.
But, instead of the pain of burning one onto the body – burn the mantra into the mind instead just as you have done
I just heard about this man earlier this year.
I think it’s awesome.
Thanks for reminding me about this. I had been using it when you first told me about it. But stuff gets in the way–further proof that I need cleansing. So off I go…to cleanse.
Great. I’m so glad I could remind you.
Wonderful! I will use it and let you know how it goes. I can see the immense power therein. It always seemed to me that forgiving ourselves was the most powerful thing we could do to move forward.
Julie,
As usual we are thinking alike!
Yes, it’s soo powerful. You can detach from the emotional sting you feel whenever you are reminded of the situation and that is sooo freeing.
Thank you for the beautiful book review you wrote about “The Intuition Principle.”
I’m so happy you found the book so valuable.
I like the story. I know I want to try this mantra. There are a couple of experiences that bother me even though I am usually cool about most things. Probably because there was no “closure”. Sigh. Forgiveness is divine.
Thank you, Angela.
Hi Vidya,
I found using it creates closure by removing the “attachment” I have to the situation.
I surrender after repeating the affirmation for a while and no longer “care” about what caused the rift.
I return to a healthy state of mind that is no longer upset.
It really works. Let me know what happens after you start using it.
I will, Angela. Because this post is talking to me, when I need it. I like to think of that as a sign that it will work for me. My mind is open already. Thank you so much.
Vidya,
Hopefully you won’t have too many occasions to use it in your life….let’s hope. xoxo
Beautiful post Angela!
Yes indeed, these are the golden words. But sadly, not many people use them nowadays.
I loved what you shared about how it all got started, especially when Vitale tracked down Len and learnt more about it.
I guess these Mantra words should be used whenever we are are hurt by anyone or upset due to something. It does do wonders because I have tried it, and it’s almost like letting go of things and not keeping or holding back the anger or dislike towards a person. But this has happened only with time, as initially I used to get disturbed when anyone would hurt me and the normal reaction is always to give back, which makes you just like the person you don’t really want to become.
I think what really matters is that you free yourself from the pain and hurt that things may cause you, which can happen only if you learn to forgive, forget, and let go – isn’t it?
Thanks for sharing a wonderful post, which is a reminder for all of us. 🙂
Hi Harleena,
I’m so glad you enjoyed this article.
What drew me to start using this exercise was the part of asking for forgiveness too!
When we ask to be forgiven we acknowledge that we are part of the problem and in doing this our ego shrinks. When the ego shrinks a true shift in our perception can take place mentally and emotionally. We let go of “who is right or wrong” or who “wronged you.” When you do this you create a space where a miracle can intersect our reality.
I’m so glad you too see the value of forgiving.
Thank you so much for visiting and commenting.