We are all full of weakness and errors; let us mutually pardon each other our follies. —Voltaire.
‘Tis the season to forgive, mend and heal.
During the holidays when we gather with family is when we most wish to mend relationships that have gone awry.
Everyone has disagreements. We are human after all.
If we nip things in the bud early on and mend the hurts we’ve inflicted or forgive the hurts we feel we were dealt, we can clear the air and uplift our hearts during this festive time.
It’s when those disagreements turn into long lasting feuds and separations that they fester within us causing all sorts of physical, emotional and mental disturbances.
Perhaps I should have titled this, “’Tis always the season to forgive, mend and heal and forgive ourselves as well.” Forgiving ourselves is just as important as forgiving others. Inflicting guilt upon ourselves as punishment will never heal or repair the relationship.
Family feuds belong on TV – period
Where I grew up there were two sisters and their families that lived in our building. The sisters had a minor disagreement one year that turned into a 40 year feud. Both passed away in the last five years never having spoken to one another again. The feud even alienated the cousins to a degree as well. I don’t know this to be a fact but, I have a feeling they probably couldn’t even remember what the fight was about 40 years later.
How sad. So much wasted time.
If there’s someone you miss that you’ve been alienated from reach out. Don’t let it go from a week, to a month to a year and then become something you classify as “irreparable.”
Love can forgive others and with self-love we can forgive ourselves. Love can mend and heal hearts and broken relationships too. It’s our pride and ego that hold us back.
After a while it doesn’t matter whose “fault” it was. All that matters is the time you will never get back to spend with this person that was at one time so dear to you.
Everyone struggles with difficulties in relationships at some point. Here are some questions I was asked by readers.
Perhaps you’ll find one of the answers helpful to you.
Question: Can you give any advice on forgiveness to people who lie and betray you and try to cover up the truth to make you look bad when they do?
Answer: As hard as it may be, forgiveness is the only thing that will “free” you from the negativity. Forgiving is not “condoning” the wrong doing of others. It’s moving on and detaching from the anguish and constant pain of reliving the betrayal.
I use this mantra whenever I find negativity about a past event coming up: I forgive everyone including myself. This means we acknowledge that if we did anything, consciously or unconsciously, that contributed to creating this situation we take responsibility and forgive ourselves too. We are all human and make mistakes.
Question: I need to mend a lot of things with my children but I have no idea what they are. I’d love to see my grandchildren.
To heal the relationship with your children I would go into meditation and ask my intuition to reveal to me what the “hurts” are that your children feel need mending. Many times the other party perceives hurts we aren’t even aware of!
Place your hand on your heart when asking for this guidance and say you want to hear it directly from their heart. Tell yourself you’re ready and willing to hear “your child’s truth,” whether you agree or not. He or she may be upset over things and blame you based on their perception. Be open. It may hurt you to hear what he or she believes is true.
Picture the child in your mind and send them love straight from your heart. See yourselves hugging and making up and see yourself hugging your grandchildren. Keep sending them love and picturing this every day. Use this mantra: I forgive everyone including myself. Keep sending them love and forgiveness while acknowledging that you may have (even unconsciously) contributed to creating the distance between you. Even if you don’t see any progress – your loving energy is getting through.
Question: I want to forgive myself but I seem to make the same mistake again and again.
Answer. The reason we call it a “mistake” is because it’s a “mis – take.” You don’t mean to do it. Ask for guidance from your intuition. Go into meditation and ask to know why you keep making this same mistake over and over.
Ask to know what you need to learn from this mistake and what the lesson is that you are to take away from this. Place your hand on your abdomen when you ask and focus on any feelings or thoughts or emotions that arrive during this process.
The thing about intuition is that we always “know” on some deep level that we are tuning out the “why” of many things that happen to us. Most of the time “mistakes” happen because we’re not ready or willing to learn something we need to learn and face in order to grow. Forgive yourself.
Question: I keep making the same mistakes again and again. Why?
Answer: We all make the same mistakes a few times before we learn. The key is to try to become more “conscious.” If you’ve made the same mistake a few times go within (meditate) on the mistake and ask your intuition what it is you need to learn from it. I do tend to think if we are aware that we are making the same mistake over and over then we are sabotaging ourselves if we don’t make an effort to look “deeper” and change our ways. On a subconscious level we may wish not to grow or take responsibility for our actions.
Forgive yourself. If this was your child and they made the same mistake wouldn’t you forgive them? Now is the time to “mother” yourself and love and forgive yourself just as you would love and forgive your child.
‘Tis the season to forgive, mend and heal.
I hope you found these questions and answers helpful to forgive, mend and heal relationships with others and to forgive yourself.
There is nothing as glorious as a heart that has been burnished by forgiveness for this heart will outshine all others.
Have you been dealing with the pain of separation this holiday season? Is there anything you might do to repair the relationship? Please feel free to ask any questions you may have.
God bless and Happy holidays from my heart to yours.
Angela
If you enjoyed this post please do share it Twitter, FB & Google+. Thank you.
While you’re here do subscribe to my newsletter and receive my ebook, “The Intuition Primer,” as my gift to you.
Comments
Powered by Facebook Comments
Hmm..true! Thanks 🙂
Hi SP,
You are soo welcome!
I did a courageous thing just now and i read this article just after i did it – COINCIDENCE? I apologized to the person i loved because in someways i broke his heart..Our relationship broke..6 months no contact..
i apologized without expecting anything in return..dats y i feel so much lighter now.. 🙂
-sp
Hi SP,
What a pleasure it is to meet you. Thank you so much for commenting.
I’m so happy to hear that your heart opened up and that you apologized.
I think this is a most positive way to start the year, don’t you?
When we let go of who was right and who was wrong we’ve made great strides in our spiritual growth.
May you be blessed with the most wonderful new year!
Angela
I really don’t know if he will reply back..but it doesn’t bother me anymore..so many days it was my ego which held me back..I could finally let go of it now..I feel good I am starting the new year with my head cleared..I feel so full of Love..n its so overwhelming tears are rolling down like never before..feels beautiful and magical..God what’s happening to me I have no clue..here its 45mins left for 2012 to arrive..Happy New Year to u Angela..Keep writing these beautiful articles! 🙂
Love,
Sp
Hi SP,
Happy New Year!
You’re starting off the new year right with a clean slate.
Do you have any idea how much good you’re going to attract because your giving off so much love from your heart out into the world? Tons! You’re like my favorite quote of all time:
Be like the Sun and you shall warm the earth.
When you’re like the Sun people and all the good that is yours by divine right is attracted to you naturally. There is no more “ugliness” clouding over your heart to block out it’s life affirming rays.
Please do come back and keep me up to date on your progress.
It’s going to be a great year for you.
Thank u so much..I really intend our relationship heals..It really meant something to me..I’m glad I’m no longer resisting anything..Thanks a lot for ur kind words..They will always be a reminder when i slip into low energy mode to bring me back up..God bless u 🙂
Hi SP,
I’m so glad you found my reply helpful.
Remember the sun is always shining even if all we see are the clouds!
Never believe anything else. You can make your life anything you desire.
Just believe and aim for what you want.
All my best,
Angela
Sorry I have been missing your last few posts. Sorry for me really becasue I really enjoy them. They are uplifitng. I cannot agree more about the power of forgiveness, especially forgiving yourself.
Bravo.
Thank you Rosemarie. And, thank you for your guest post too.
The best advice ever! I have someone to practice this on and will definitely follow. Nothing like being positive.
By the way I love your definition of “mis-take”. Wonderful!
Hi Betsy,
I don’t know what made me think of those two sisters but it made me so sad to think they hadn’t spoken in 40 years! What a waste of time.
Glad you enjoyed the post.
Merry Christmas Betsy!
All my best,
Angela
Amen to that Angela,
Have a merry one
be good to yourself
David
Hi David,
Thank you for your comment.
Happy holidays to you and best wishes for an abundant new year!
All my best to you,
Angela
So true Angela. Tis the season for forgiveness, especially to ourselves.
Take care…
Hi Justin,
Thanks so much.
Happy holidays and best wishes for a marvelous new year.
All my best,
Angela