Much of your pain is the bitter potion by which the physician within you heals your sick self. —Khalil Gibran
While going through “dark nights of the soul” we care little for finding the meaning hidden within painful events we must get through.
All that we can focus on is making it through. Everything else seems a drain on our already low energy reserves.
We deal with the death of a love one and try to cope with the gaping hole they’ve left in our lives and our hearts.
We struggle to carry on and stay up night after night worrying about our child who is drug addicted and living in squalor.
We act stoic in front of our families but, are traumatized and terrified as we battle for our lives with a deadly illness.
After our spouse walks out on us we cope with daily life for our children’s sake but, inside we wish it were all a dream.
We have become numb to the pain that is now the new normal.
The wisdom of the wounded healer
In Greek mythology, Chiron was a centaur (half-man half-horse) who was fatally wounded but, because he was the son of the god Kronos and therefore immortal, couldn’t die. To survive each day with the excruciating pain of a wound that could not be healed Chiron learned all he could about the healing arts. The pain he endured from his wound led Chiron to become a teacher and practitioner of the healing arts, renowned for his wisdom in spirituality, divination, astrology and metaphysics. Chiron’s great purpose and passion to serve others was born from the enormity of his pain.
After a trauma has turned our lives upside down we need time to settle back into some sort of normalcy and to put some perspective on the events that have taken place. There are no rules about a time table for any of this either. It’s different for each of us.
The common denominator throughout is that once the numbness of the trauma wears off we will be faced with a defining moment. Are we going to find the meaning and purpose behind the painful events we went through or will we remain a victim for the rest of our lives?
Chiron turned his quest to heal his pain into a passion for teaching and healing. Hidden within his wound was a great pearl; the pearl of his own wisdom that could not be birthed until he had experienced excruciating pain. Only then could he understand and truly empathize with those he healed. Before that he was an immortal god untouched by pain.
To find your great purpose and true passion in life you must embrace your pain. It is your very own pearl.
Your pain points you in the direction of your greatest achievement. Don’t hide from it and push it away. To push it away is to push away your destiny.
Embrace it all
Embrace the lessons of the difficulties you went through. Embrace the emotions. Embrace the loss.
Embrace them and examine them. And, if you are ready to rise to the challenge you will hear a little voice and it will say, “I want to make a difference I want to use this experience to…..be a better person or to help others who are dealing with what I went through.”
And, when you hear that you will know that you have chosen the path of victor and not victim.
The man or woman who lost their spouse may decide to train as a grief counselor.
The parent whose child is lost to drugs may go on to write a book that helps other parents cope with the same experience.
The person who nearly died now has an entirely new perspective on life and lives with a gusto and joy that uplifts every one with whom they interact.
The partner whose spouse left them has learned just how capable they really are and found a source of confidence and pride in their own mastery that never existed before. This has made them a better parent and role model for his or her children.
You can do great things
Finding the purpose in your pain and going after it with a passion connects you with an inexhaustible power. That inexhaustible power flows from the Universe to you and through you when you live a purpose driven life. It will empower you to do great things.
There is a hidden power in your pain….find it and you will rise again.
So – run toward your pain and when you have finished steeping in it look for your pearl, for that is where you will find your purpose and your true greatness.
Have you ever gone through pain and trauma in your life? Did you find the meaning behind it all? Has it helped shape your purpose?
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- Chiron ~ The Wounded Healer (auntiemoon.wordpress.com)
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I much liked to read the story of Chiron you explained. It was a great example to exemplify the matter at hand. 🙂 By the way, I completely agree with what you wrote.
Sometimes it is necessary to encounter failure and setbacks to find out which is our calling in life.. As I was reading your post I remembered the quote “Every failure brings with it the seed of an equivalent success” I think is from Napoleon Hill… If someone is receptive enough these setbacks or drawbacks usually are blessing in disguise.
Dear Esteban,
I’m so glad you liked the information I shared about Chiron. It’s great to meet you.
Welcome to Powered by Intuition.
I think you’re right – when we encounter setbacks and problems it helps us to step back and review our progress to make sure we’re on the right path.
I love that quote from Napolean Hill. Thanks so much for visiting and sharing it with us.
Hi Angela! I didnt see your reply until today!
Thanks for your welcome and congratulations on your blog!
I enjoy a lot reading it! By the way, it is very interesting the interview to the author of The Book of Afformations that you posted today! 🙂
Embracing your mistakes was definitely the first step for me. I couldn’t move forward and progress in life without first embracing the fact that i had made mistakes in my past and it led me down the wrong path. Without accepting who i use to be and the pain i had felt, i couldn’t make changes to become the person i wanted to be.
All good points Darren.
Thank you for sharing.
Hi Angela, I discovered that I was so much more resilient than I ever thought I could be when I became functionally blind for a year. It taught me a lot about facing fears and overcoming limitations. It also taught me how lucky I am that this didn’t happen to one of my children…I would have found that a thousand times more difficult to bear. When I came to the point of ‘sink or swim’ i.e. to wallow in my misfortune or to find ways to deal with it…I knew there was only one way for way forward and that was to start fighting for my life. It’s so strange that once that decision was made I took a huge leap forward and did a few abseils from tall buildings for my local animal rescue charity (prior to this I thought I was scared of heights), trained as a lifecoach and in November I did the Great Ethiopian Run in Adis Ababa for Orbis who are an international eyesight saving charity. My condition is now manageable and I can do most things again albeit with some frustration. I share this not to imply ‘how great I am’ or to sound like a martyr…because believe me I have done plenty of cursing of my fate and still do at times. But overall this was the most important lesson of my life and I have grown, as a result, in ways I would never have expected. So to anyone else out there coping with great pain…emotional or physical…my message to you is please don’t give up. If you can just push yourself somehow to the outer edges of your pain…and then push a little more, you will find yourself in a strange and sacred space where anything is possible. Angela, thank you for this beautiful article and the message of Chiron…you have a way of bringing us right to the brink of our inner reality and back out into the sunshine.
Rosemary,
I had no idea you’d been through such a great ordeal. I’m so glad you’re doing better.
What a wonderful and inspiring story you have to share with us.
Thank you so much for commenting. I truly appreciate it.
xoxo,
Angela
Pain and loss are always hard. Remembering the positive takes effort – effort that’s well worth it in the long run. That’s not to say we’ll totally get over certain losses…. at least we’ll learn to accept and deal with them without letting them mess up a good present. Thank you, Angela. Such a valuable post.
Thank you Vidya,
I’m so glad you found it helpful.
Pain is part of life, it is how we use and adapt to that pain that can either create negative or positive situations in our lives. So you are definitely right in saying that we need to find purpose in our pain. Don’t shy away from it, but instead embrace it.
Mark,
I’m so glad you found this post worthwhile. We do need to learn a lesson from our pain most of the time.
Thank you for visiting and commenting.
This is wonderful. So true. Yet hard to do. I elieve there are those who enjoy wallowing in their misery. How sad because there are great lessons everywhere. Thanks for this reminder.
Rosemarie,
I’m glad you found this article helpful.
It’s true some do wallow in their misery. How sad when it could be such a great opportunity for personal growth.
Thank you so much for visiting and commenting.
Angela, I hope you know how brilliant you are. Your insights, your writing (the articulation of your wisdom in these posts) – are brilliant, important, unique and needed in this world. There are so many writers and bloggers that say the same things, you say different things – you articulate important and vital life insights.
It can be so profoundly hard to move through trauma, most get lost along the way and go into auto pilot, just living in numbness. You give solid reason why we must accept the pains, the traumas and go through the process of personal alchemy.
Aileen,
Thank you so much for saying such nice things. I’m so touched. I don’t feel very “brilliant” most of time though, I must confess.
Mostly, I feel “rushed!” I’m so glad you found this post worthwhile. I have a lot of people around me who are going through very difficult times and this is what led me to write this post.
Everyone wants to feel as if there is some higher purpose to their suffering. I believe if we look for the “lesson” and how it can benefit us we will find the meaning behind all the pain we endured.
There is great value in learning from our pain. When I was laid off from work a couple of years ago, it caused a good deal of emotional pain. I took the time to look evaluate my situation and was able to find more clarity about what I wanted from my future. I also found more joy in my daily life as I was freed from a very stressful job.
Hi Eric,
I’m so glad you found this article worthwhile. I can imagine that getting laid off would be very stressful and upsetting.
But, it sounds like it was a blessing in disguise. When we look for the good we do find it.
Thank you so much for visiting and commenting. It’s a pleasure to have you visit here!
Wow Angela, I can sense the power and purpose behind your words today. Struggle and pain is part of evolution’s Grand Plan – there is no escaping it. It is wise to value our struggles, they are an inevitable part of our growth. We will all grow old, we will all experience ill health – it is the way of nature. Embracing the purpose of our pain move us to ever higher levels of consciousness. I am grateful for my early pains and struggles because it has given me the purpose that has me a wonderfully obsessed author today.
Hi Rob,
I’m so glad you’re a “wonderfully obsessed author!” We’re all so much better off for having your words of wisdom Rob.
I too agree. I’m grateful for my wounds. For, in healing them I found my very own pearls!
Thank you so much for visiting and commenting dear friend.
How coincidental! Just last week, I was reading about Chiron and the wounded healer metaphor. I had bought a set of tarot cards which featured mythology. It’s interesting that you mentioned it here. I had marked it down for writing a post but haven’t gotten round to it.
I was keen on the subject of mythology because of the first book that I had written, which was on alchemy and the journey of a hero. I’m glad that you triggered my memory here.
Needless to say, I enjoyed reading your article and am in agreement about finding meaning through our life experiences. We discussed the topic on finding purpose through pain in a NLP class that I joined last year. A number of us was able to identify our life purpose from the “suffering” we had gone though.
Hi Evelyn,
When I was younger I read a lot of Greek mythology. Not only did I love it but it was part of my cultural heritage.
I’ve found Chiron interesting ever since I learned about the discovery of the asteroid named for Chiron in 1977.
The planet represents where you’re wounded in you life and where your potential gifts are hidden. I’m so glad you enjoyed this post!
Thank you so much for visiting and commenting.
Hi Angela,
I learned something new, I thought I knew about Greek Mythology, but I sure did not know it all.
I like the idea of turning pain in to healing. Pain and happiness are part of life. However, I think I see many people self inflicting pain by self sabotaging or purposefully creating pain for others, now that type should not have any purpose, right?
Good read.
Preeti
Hi Preeti,
It’s so nice to see you here.
I’m glad you learned something new about Chiron.
Self inflicted pain through self-sabotage is the worst!
It has no purpose other then to keep you in victim mode.
Glad you enjoyed it.
“Your pain points you in the direction of your greatest achievement.” This is EXACTLY true for me this week. I was reminded once again this weekend, by exclusion from a group of hostesses giving a party for a dear friend who had just sent her new husband off to Afghanistan. My friend and I ended up having a gift-opening session at her house with her mom and daughter. This was very satisfactory and my presentation poems brought tears of happiness. See how this pain thing is working as a GREAT pointer for me?
Hi Rose,
I’m sorry to hear you were excluded by the hostesses giving the party. They must not be true friends, right?
I’m glad you made the best of it and found a way to enjoy your day. Plus, your presentation poems were truly appreciated by the friend you were with and that must have been a wonderful feeling!
Thank you so much for visiting and commenting.
It’s a pleasure to have you stop by!
We don’t have many “dark nights of the soul” (hopefully)…
But when we do we have a big decision to make or issue to deal with… will either fall over and cry? or learn the REAL lesson?
Most people don’t go that deep so the lesson will unfortunately present itself again.
Those “dark nights” SUCK! But can be springboards into a much better life!
Dom
Hi Dominic,
I know – we all hope we won’t have those “dark nights of the soul” don’t we?
It’s true it is a turning point in our lives. We can learn from it or remain stuck and possibly have to face more dark nights of the soul.
Thank you so much for visiting and commenting.
It’s always a pleasure to see you!
Preach it, sistah. I wrote a little today on victimization and how not to fall into it, on a related note. Everybody gets a wound, but a few folks transcend even the wound.
Hi Joe Bill,
Yes, that’s it – transcending the wound and becoming something greater because of it!
If we awaken to the reason why we choose to incarnate in the first place we will realize it is BECAUSE of lessons like this.
We simply cannot learn these lessons in the other realms. The conflicts do not exist to teach us what we need to know to grow.
Thank you so much for visiting and commenting.
This is wonderful Angela and for me a flow on from talking with you last week.
I have embraced what you said and meditating on the questions to find the real purpose that will come from this. Yes it is interesting about the time it will take , what I thought would be complete by now
Even though I have a physical issue, it is the emotional pain (numbness) that I am dealing with, partly drugs and I know I can overcome that too
I love this: So – run toward your pain and when you have finished steeping in it look for your pearl, for that is where you will find your purpose and your true greatness.
I will find the pearl
Thank you
namaste
Suzie
Suzie,
I’m so happy you found this helpful to you.
I know you’ve been through a horrid time this year.
I also know that you will find that pearl and purpose.
As Amit said in his comment, “You are being prepared!”
You’re so welcome!
All my best to you always,
Angela
This was absolutely beautiful Angela. I went through some tough times recently and in the midst of the chaos of thoughts and emotions something stood out for me and kept me going.
“Did it ever occur to that the reason you’ve been through and are going through so much is because you are being prepared?”
Thank you for the very timely piece!
Hi Amit,
I’m so sorry to hear that you’ve been having a tough time of it.
While it’s happening we just have to do what we need to survive but, afterward we can look back and find the meaning.
I love that! You are being prepared. Yes!
I’m so glad you found it helpful to you.
Thank you so much for visiting and commenting Amit.
Hi Angela,
Because I’ve always been healthy I’ve never experienced much physical pain after my childhood.It’s the emotional pain I look for purpose in. Even that I cause 99% of it with my thoughts. I used to be good at taking on other’s problems, now I remind myself…that has nothing to do with me. It’s very helpful with my adult children!
Hi Tess,
Definitely – the emotional pain holds so many lessons for us.
So much of it, as you say, is self perpetuated too!
When we can look beyond our emotions we’ll see that “it has nothing to do with me!”
Thank you for visiting and commenting.
I understand the theory. I just cannot find the purpose in the pain. I cannot get past the pain. I just want it to stop. Whether I feel it, or bury it, it is still there. Just as fresh as on day one. I just keep finding new layers to it, new depths. It’s been nearly three years now. I’ve been betrayed and made a fool of. My children are fatherless. I have no self-worth left. People want me to get over it, to find my strength and make something of my life. But I feel lost and in pain. Constantly. I don’t want to help anyone, I don’t want to live, I just want to have never been born…
Hi Dorothy,
I totally understand your experience – and I would never recommend anyone to get over their pain. But I would recommend that you find support to embracing it and transforming it. It is absolutely possible to move through such heavy challenges – and it’s very difficult to do it on your own. Now is not the time to help anyone. It is time to create help for yourself by finding someone who knows how to support you all the way.
Kindly –
Halina
Hi Halina,
Thanks for your supportive reply to Dorothy.
It’s a pleasure meeting you.
Thank you for visiting and commenting.
Angela
Dear Dorothy,
I’m so sorry to hear about the pain you’ve been through and continue to experience. I can understand your pain.
As I said in my post everyone heals at their own pace.
Keep asking God, the Universe, Holy Spirit, Infinite Intelligence or whatever you call a “higher power” for strength, guidance and healing and it will come eventually. Ask for hope and faith so that you can find the strength to go on too.
I don’t know if you’re in counseling but perhaps therapy can help as well.
You have something of great value to share and that is that you can go through the greatest pain of your life and still survive. If you can focus on the new skills you’ve had to develop you will see that you’ve grown because of this horrific experience. Start giving yourself some credit and you’ll start to see your own worth.
I know my words are no match for what you’ve been through and I’m not trying to minimize it. Each day find something to be grateful for and trust that your purpose is standing right before you. Ask that the ‘veil’ be removed so you can see it and it will.
All my best to you,
Angela
Thanks, Angela. I’ve had lots of therapy and it’s taken me as far as I can go, I think. I still go back regularly and have a good GP as well. It’s the looking inside that I avoid, because it brings up more pain. Today is a better day. It’s all I can do right now. One day at a time…
Hi Dorothy,
Yes, one day at a time. There is no time-table but your own internal clock.
Think of this whole terrible experience like a knife being sharpened. Each of these experiences serves to sharpen you!
Hi Angela,
I couldn’t resist your title. It is probably the same way I felt about your zombie article haha! And I just love your Khalil Gibran quote. When I was going through some of the most painful periods in my life, his words were like a healing balm to me. The Prophet is definitely a book I enjoy for its wisdom.
Wow! I am not very familiar with Greek mythology, definitely not the less prominent figures. But reading your short background on Chiron has me intrigued. I love his story and how he coped with the challenges he faced. And more importantly, I love how his pain became a catalyst for his transformation. I have always believed there is a life lesson in every crisis we face. The more painful it is, the more important it is that we learn the lesson. I also enjoyed how he became a teacher of the healing arts renowned for his wisdom in spirituality, divination, astrology and metaphysics. I especially love the divination bit haha!
There are so many things in this world that can cause us pain. What truly matters is the lessons we derive from it. One of the things about pain for me is that after going through it, I try my best to help others to avoid unnecessary pain if possible. Sometimes they do not have to go through the difficult lesson because they have enough experience and wisdom and I can easily steer them through. At other times, their experience is insufficient and it is a lesson they have to learn on their own. During this time, I try my best to support them especially if they are close friends.
Indeed the best way to manage pain is to embrace and face it. There is no other better way to cope. Pain is not there to make you suffer or to punish you. It is the Universe’s way of readying you for a greater purpose. But before you can achieve that purpose, you must have the capacity for it. And the only way to gain that capacity is to endure pain. “What is to give light must endure burning” as Viktor Frankl wisely put it.
The worst pain I suffered stemmed from my inability to manage my emotions. Being an INFJ I had lots of emotions but no control. So there was a lot of heartbreak during my formative years. But in the end, once I learned to manage my emotions better, I was no longer in pain. In short, I gained a greater capacity so it would take a lot more to cause me pain.
This does not mean I cannot feel. I do feel, but my emotions no longer control me. There was a period where I thought numbing my emotions was mastery, but this is not true mastery. True mastery is to be able to feel fully yet remain calm in the eye of the storm. By learning this lesson, I could feel compassion for the people who seek my help and give them the best advice I can through divination. Helping others to make better choices in life is my purpose. And I could not have done this without going through a lot of pain to gain the wisdom and the capacity I needed to manage life better.
Thank you for sharing this thoughtful article! I enjoyed it immensely! 😀
Irving the Vizier
Irving,
I love this: “What is to give light must endure burning” as Viktor Frankl wisely put it.
What a wonderful quote from Frankl. It truly captures the meaning of my entire post. We must go through the ring of fire so that we emerge stronger and more able to share what we learned to help others.
Thank you so much for visiting and commenting.
I truly appreciate you and your wisdom.
Angela