If you don’t think every day is a good day, just try missing one. ~Cavett Robert
Do you ever wish the world would stop turning so you could get off?
When things don’t go as you expect do you lay awake thinking of how to “fix it?”
On Friday I found out that my book would not be finished on time.
The editor working on my manuscript accidentally edited a very early version, not the updated version I’d sent. This will delay my book another month, at least.
I wanted to have the book out along with the workbook and guided meditations by September. I’ve been working non-stop to get this done for the entire summer. Now, I’ll have to take the incorrect version and try to apply the changes to my new manuscript. This will mean going through the manuscript page by page – again. It feels like I’m back to square one again.
Give up the illusion of control
We can only control ourselves, so choose to control your reaction and not be upset by mishaps. Choose to remain calm and open to the possibility that this is all happening for your highest good.
Now that the shock has worn off and a few days have passed I’m feeling better. I’ve let go of any expectations I had for the book being done in the next few weeks. There is nothing more I can do but do the work to get it done.
I realize, of course, this was an unintentional error. The editor was inundated with work and distracted – it happens – she’s human.
Sometimes life throws us curve balls
Curve balls teach us to adjust our swing.
I started to think about why I wanted my book done by a certain time in the first place. I realized part of the constant overwhelm I experience is due to always trying to stick to the schedules I create. My stress is self induced. There is no time table I truly have to adhere to.
Looking at this “glitch” as a curve ball instead of a catastrophe allows me to shift my thinking and see how this delay will give me some much needed breathing room. Maybe I can enjoy this process now instead of rushing through it? That seems a lot saner.
Is the Universe speaking to you?
When we’re in alignment with life opportunities arise that support us. When we’re not in sync, doors we had hoped would open slam shut in our faces. The Universe pulls us back to the path we’re supposed to be on by creating events designed to get our attention.
Perhaps there is a better plan or timetable for my book? Maybe the Universe is telling me to lighten up and let “it” take over? Rather than my trying to adhere to this strict publishing schedule the Universe may have a surprise in store for me if my book is published at a later date.
Breath a sigh of relief
When it’s out of your hands the best thing you can do is breath, let go and relax. Picture yourself calm and detached about the situation. How does the calm, detached you handle this situation?
I’m now thinking of what I can do with this extra time instead. All sorts of great ideas spring to mind. I’m feeling good – no fine actually. It’s all good.
Things are going to work out in the long run
When we look back at our lives we see that things always work out – one way or the other. Was it necessary to struggle so much? To embroil ourselves in the angst of problems and disappointments? Not really. Letting go instead of resisting is so much saner and kinder toward ourselves.
I’m over it. I’m resigned to it. I’ve accepted it. Ces’t la vie.
Freedom
When we let go of expectations we are free to be happy and joyful no matter what’s happened.
What was I so upset about in the first place? I’ve got other things to do. The book will be done – when it’s done. This is all part of the adventure called life.
Have you had a set back or disappointment of some kind recently? Can you look at it and see how perhaps it isn’t as bad as you thought? Could it actually be serving you in some way?
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I stand up and applaud that superb quote in the beginning “If you don’t think every day is a good day, just try missing one.” So wonderful. And this: When we let go of expectations we are free to be happy and joyful no matter what’s happened. That’s the truth! Fantastic post, Angela. Hugs!
Hi Vidya,
I’m so glad you enjoyed this post.
I have found the more expectations of control I give up the happier and freer I feel.
It’s definitely a process though…..and has taken me years to get to this point.
Hug back!
Angela
Fantastic article! Surrender can be one of the toughest concepts to master, and probably the first we should pull out of our toolbox when life gets difficult. All we can do is our best!
Hi PJ
It’s nice to meet you. I’m so glad you enjoyed this article.
You’re so right: surrender is a tough one to master!
Once we do though life becomes infinitely easier.
Thank you so much for coming by and leaving a comment.
“Curve balls teach us to adjust our swing.”
LOVE THIS QUOTE! I’m got some adjusting to do, too!
Heidi
First of all, so sorry about your book not being ready on time. I totally know that feeling. I had to do so many corrections on mine. The quote book took until the beginning of November when I had also planned on September publishing date.
Secondly, that is what being a Zen Mama is all about… changing your reaction to things/people you cannot control. So of course, I loved your post.
And thirdly, I love the quote you used as a title! May I borrowed that sometime for my facebook… and course credit you for finding it!
Do not stop thinking. No, not worrying – thinking. Think how you get upset, what lead you to that state? Is it something rational, does it makes sense ? Can you do something to feel better ?
Always keep on thinking and you will find a solution.
Hi Marlene,
It’s so nice meeting you.
True. Stop the worry – the thinking can stay! 🙂
I definitely agree. When we examine how we get upset and really look at it closely we’ll see it’s usually not warranted to be so upset in the first place.
Great points.
Thank you so much for sharing.
Hi Angela — I can definitely relate to your sense that “I need to get this out immediately.” When I experience that kind of urgency, and I really look at what’s going on, I’ll usually see that beneath the urgency is a need to be seen by people (for instance, the people who are going to read what I’m writing) and a fear that I won’t be seen unless this gets done. It’s helpful to know that I have people in my life who are willing to see me regardless of what I accomplish.
Hi Chris,
Great point. It’s true the self imposed deadline has a lot of fear behind it.
If it’s not out by this certain time will it not be read and so on.
Relaxing and letting is go and trusting that it’s good is the only way to deal with it.
Ouch. So sorry for your curve ball Angela.
This is a great post. I am learning to go with the flow of the Universe and stay willing to allow change into my life, even when it feels uncomfortable. Or I should say “especially” when it feels comfortable. Resistance is futile, right?
Hi Rachel,
It’s such a pleasure having you visit here.
I’m glad you enjoyed the post.
I think everyone is on the same journey of learning how to deal with life’s challenge without getting so worked up.
And you’re right – it’s especially true when it feels uncomfortable – or as you point out we’ve grown accustomed to reacting this way.
Yes, Resistance is Futile. LOL.
Hi Angela,
I did exactly the same thing with my manuscript – set a deadline and then let it stress me! Ironically (!?) it was when I removed ALL deadlines that I flowed to the finish line! Funny how we do that, don’t we? We forget that everything is “unfolding as it should”.
Thanks, as always, for the reminder!
Lori
Hi Lori,
I’m sorry to hear that you stressed out over a deadline too Lori.
So true – “everything is unfolding as it should.” Beautiful.
Thank you so much for adding your comments here.
Hi Angela,
I’m so sorry! That must have been so disappointing and discouraging. If I were to give advice (I won’t) it would be along the lines of all the great quotes/statements you put in this post. Loved the way it flowed, as you talked yourself down. Seems someone’s been around the block a few times and has some wisdom to share.
Thank you. And I hope one day you’ll say “Oh thank God that happened, otherwise [something really good] wouldn’t have.” 😀
Hi Patti,
I’m glad you liked the way the post flowed.
I do believe it’s all good, really.
Everything is happening the way it’s supposed to.
I suppose I have been around the block a few times too. 🙂
Thanks so much for your support.
Angela,
OMG call me when this stuff happens. Hopefully you connected with someone who could understand.
You handled it so well. I’m wondering if you should start taking pre-orders or something? Why sit still?
Did love this post and saw 101 shares. I added 1! xo
Thank you Tess!
I didn’t want to bother you over Labor Day weekend, but thank you for offering.
Pre-orders? Great idea. Hmm, how do I do that?
Thanks so much for sharing the post and your support too!
So sorry to hear about your book. That is such a hard thing to deal with. I know that when similar things have happened to me, the product ends up being better the second time around. Nonetheless, it is painful to go through the gambit of emotions before final acceptance.
Thinking we have control of those things outside of us is an illusion that only creates suffering.
Looking forward to the new book. 🙂
Hi Lisa,
I totally agree. I think having the opportunity to go through my manuscript, yet again, is allowing me to tweak it even further. I’m looking at it as a blessing in disguise!
Thank you so much for your support too. I truly appreciate it.
Angela, I am so sorry to hear about your delay! I can feel it – my heart sank when I read this. In living an empowering life, it’s our habit to think positive, manifest, visualize and call forth – and it’s trippy when the Universe says -, ‘not now,’ because we feel we’re aligned with its manifestation.
YES some things are not in our control and I love what you said:
“We can only control ourselves, so choose to control your reaction and not be upset by mishaps. Choose to remain calm and open to the possibility that this is all happening for your highest good.”
It can be hard pill to swallow – but the Universe does do what’s best.
Your post reminds me to let go even more and surrender to the Universe.
Hi Aileen,
Thank you so much for your support and understanding.
I do believe everything always happens for a reason so I’m looking forward to discovering just how much better things will turn out due to this delay. I have definitely surrendered~!
Thank you dear friend!
That’s a major point for me as well. I know a good number of people who don’t understand the concept of controlling their reactions and therefore fulfilling a better outcome, than what typically happens if you react negatively at the first signs of problems.
We still have an incredible amount of control available to us even when things are going poorly.
Thanks for the great thoughts,
Bryce
Hi Bryce,
I think it might be construed as suppressing or avoiding emotions but it’s completely different. You acknowledge the emotion and then release it so that it doesn’t take over our life. I feel fine now about what happened.
It just is…and that’s fine.
Thanks so much for coming over and sharing your comment with us.
Whew, that really stinks that your book is going to be late, but you’re reacting in such a great way.
It’s absolutely true, the only thing we can control is ourselves and our reactions.
I also really like the idea that there is no timetable that we truly have to adhere to. When we trace it back to its source, it’s always self-induced.
Stress sucks!
Fred,
I love that: Stress sucks! lol 🙂
So true and most of it, at least with me, is self induced too.
I think part of the mania about having a time table goes back to fear of “missing out” or comparing your progress to others. When I really thought it through – I realized the truth that there was no time table I had to adhere to.
Thank so much for coming by and commenting.
I really appreciate your support.
I can understand exactly what you are going through in terms of failing to meet self-imposed datelines and experiencing publishing delays. I have been through these. What was supposed to be weeks would turn out to be another two months at least.
Incidentally, I had also planned for a September completion for my book on Self-Love. I am now anticipating delays. I observe how I would get frustrated previously when things like these happen but not as much anymore. I choose to know that my book will be published in perfect timing.
It’s great that you are feeling better now. I wish you every success in your book!!!
Hi Evelyn,
I guess as long as we’re alive we will have unexpected thing arise that effect the schedules we created. It’s part of life and being able to bend in the wind without breaking.
I’m looking forward to the “Self-Love” book! I’m sure it will be published at the perfect time too.
Thank you for good wishes on my book I truly appreciate it!
Hi Angela,
I can so relate to your post as well. During different times in my life things haven’t worked out at all like I expected. I’ve learned to let go of my expectations as you mentioned which gives me a little more freedom than being locked into a certain outcome. Disappointments come and I know sometimes for me I need a while to think it through, but you never know, you may have a little surprise or turn of events when this is all finished and it may be for the better. Good luck with it all!
Hi Cathy,
I think we all can relate to disappointment in our lives. I don’t think there’s a human being on the planet that hasn’t had their hopes dashed by something at one time or another. Letting go of expectations is one of the keys though – you’re right. Thank you so much for your good wishes about my book. I’m truly grateful for your support.
Hi Angela,
I have learned (like many) that you can’t control external influences or what other people do. One can only have an influence on what one does or intends to do. I have used the word “control” often however I feel this can be overdone. Do we really want to be “controlling”? Maybe ‘influential’ is better?
A deep breath and maintaining a positive outlook that The Universe and your end game are in alignment, I think is a good thing. Love your work.
be good to yourself
David
Hi David,
You’re so right. I hadn’t thought about that. We don’t want to be “controlling,” do we?
Maybe influence or effective are better words to use. Thank you!
I’m feeling so relaxed I haven’t edited a word of my manuscript today.
Playing hooky is good for the soul sometimes = that’s my deep breath for today.
Shhh – don’t tell anyone David.
Thanks so much for sharing your insights with us here.
Angela,
I really enjoyed this article.
Taking moment to breathe and stepping outside the situation to see it as it really is, is a very important step to evolving our emotional selves. When we can’t do anything about a situation it’s important to realize that and accept it.
William
Hi William,
It’s so nice to see you here.
You’re 100 percent right.
Learning to give up the illusion of control is part our our evolution and growth.
Taking a deep breath and relaxing about things feels so good too!
Thank you so much for taking the time to visit and comment.
Hi Angela,
I relate to what you have written, wow that was a tough one- but as you say Sometimes life throws us curve balls. Curve balls teach us to adjust our swing.
The we have to be patient and maybe even just be with what is knowing that what will emerge will be as it is meant to be.
Feel like that in my life right now 🙂
as you say enjoy the process, if it doesn’t make your heart sing why do it?
Love
Suzie
Hi Suzie,
I know you just went through your own curve ball so, I know that you understand.
I do hope you’re feeling better and better!
I agree something better is coming.
It’s great to see you my friend.
Wow, timely post for me! Thanks & Happy Trails!
Hi,
So glad you enjoyed this post.
Thank you so much for stopping by to say so.
Hi Angela,
We can only control ourselves, so choose to control your reaction and not be upset by mishaps. This statement should be imbedded in our brains at a very early age.
I get so annoyed when people try to control others in order to feel good.I agree that everything works out in the end.
Hi Justin,
I know, right? It should be, but it’s more common that we spend the better part of our early adulthood thinking we can change things or people. I spent my early adult years thinking if I was nice and patient certain people in my life would “change.” Anyway, I agree with you. It is so annoying now to be around people who try to control others.
Thanks so much for coming by and commenting. I sure do appreciate your support.
Thanks so much Angela! I’m having a bit of a tough day re: something I can’t control, and am clarifying just what I CAN control in the situation. Thanks for the reminder and encouragement–I appreciate it.
Hi Sean,
I’m sorry you’re having a tough day. I understand how you feel especially since it’s something you can’t control.
Thank so much for stopping by and commenting.
I think you have hit on an important point or two–sometimes the universe does say no–just without words.
I take issue with models that suggest you can have anything you want. Maybe somebody out there has the universe work this way, but I’ve never seen such a thing and most folks I know don’t seem to experience matters that way either.
HI Joe,
I believe when we’ve gone to far off our purpose the Universe responds with a move that we interpret as a “no” to reign us back onto the right path. We see it as a door closing or a “no.”
I don’t know anyone who has a perfect life. We’re all subject to disappointments at times. I don’t think I want to go through life looking or waiting for the next disappointment though. I’d rather be positive and hope for the best and then when life does throw me a curve ball – just say – “Oh well, that didn’t turn out like I expected,” and move on.
I love when you wrote: the Universe pulls us back to the path we’re supposed to be on by creating events designed to get our attention
Love this.
I’m a bit in the same boat with my new book. Waiting on wrapping up some editing myself. I figure maybe the delay means it’s supposed to be delayed. I’m going with that. :o)
Angela, please email me or FB message me the name of your new book… since I have a blurb in my book, I’d love to include that after your name. 🙂
Hi Sheila,
The Universe will communicate with us if we’re open to reading its signs.
I’m sure your delay is happening for the same reason mine is – something greater than we are has things arranged for our benefit at a later date.
Hopefully you received my email Sheila.
angela,
This is wonderful advice. I do this to myself all the time. Plus, I cannot agree more with the concept that the Universe sends us signals to put us back on our true path–or just keep us from making anohter mistake. Remember the problem with Lola, may car. A couple of months ago something happend that told me I should trade her in for a Jeep Wrangler–which you know I need where I live. Especially now that I have access to only one car. But I resisted. I hated giving up my pretty TT convertable. And I let the opportunity to get a Jeep pass by. Then I got stuck on the thruway two weeks ago and it wound up costing me $700. You know the story. I finally realized this was my sign. I had also been consumed with the concern of having another monthly payment I couldn’t afford. As it turned out I went to look for an older Jeep. Turns out that leasing a 2012 would be only $204 a month after the trade in. I was so relieved. I knew this was what I needed to do before Lola became worthless and that having a sexy car was less important than having a reliable one. I know the Universe gave me a wake-up call.
Hi Roe,
I’m so glad you’re getting the Jeep.
When you told me about Lola breaking down on the highway – I immediately had the same thought.
I wished you’d buy a nice SUV to help you navigate the winter roads. LOL.
I know how you feel though. It’s hard to let go of the attachment to the “sexy” car.
I think the Universe is looking out for you! I’m glad you got the “message.”
Hi Angela, thank you for a great insight into letting go. Yes, things happen and will only be excacerbated thro worry. And in my experience, ‘curve balls’ turn out to be blessings in diguise. Looking forward to your new book as soon as it’s ready:) Take care, Stephen
Hi Stephen,
Thank you so much for coming by.
I think you’re right about the curve balls being blessings in disguise too.
I’m looking forward to seeing what transpires in the near future.
Thank you for your kind words about my book. I will definitely be jumping up and down when it’s ready!
Angela,
I’m sure the finding out about this setback was a challenging moment…and yet, you’ve moved on. And I’m confident the Universe is providing in ways you and I can’t even begin to realize.
And…when this does finish…it will be amazing!!!
Hi Lance,
It’s great to see you here.
Yes, the setback sort of stunned me for a moment. I couldn’t believe what I was seeing.
I think your absolutely right – I choose to believe the Universe has something up her sleeve that only could have been arranged if my manuscript was delayed.
Thank you for such a lovely compliment. I truly appreciated your support!
Angela,
Your post, and setback is a reminder of one of the most important life lesson I’ve learned: “There are not accidents without value.”
Wait for the value, it will come.
Best wishes,
Alex
Hi Alex,
I love that: There are no accidents without value.
I do believe it. I feel things are working out perfectly despite the double work this has created.
I’m looking forward to the value it will bring – definitely.
Thank you for your good wishes and support. I truly appreciate it.
It’s a pleasure seeing you here.
I can so relate to this this post. I struggle when life events don’t proceed along the time path I have established. It can cause me such stress. I have gotten a bit better at reminding myself that everything is perfect, happens for a reason and that I need to let go of the control. Its still hard sometimes!
Good luck with your book – that is very exciting!
Hi Anne,
I can totally relate to your comment.
We need to let go and let the Universe take over once we’ve done all we can do.
Thanks so much for visiting and leaving a comment.
I truly appreciate it.
Angela,
I read this post on time as I am currently worrying over some “self-made” deadlines that I have to meet. I also realized that “there is no time table I truly have to adhere to.” No matter how much we try to take control of everything, there are just some things that we have no control over. Relax and let go. If we cannot change the situation, we can at least change how we respond to it.
Thank you so much for this post. You are not only intuitive Angela — you are also an inspirational writer. Keep on touching lives… 🙂
Hi Zhayne,
Thank you so much for your very kind compliments. I needed to hear them today!!
I see you’ve been going through something similar with a timetable.
I’m glad I was able to offer you another viewpoint that might ease your distress.
Thank you so much for coming by and commenting too.
I appreciated your support.