Are you making New Year’s Resolutions?
Are you planning to lose weight, get in shape and exercise every day, get a better job, get out of debt, and save money?
According to the US government these are a some of 11 common resolutions that most of us make year after year.
And, break each year.
Apparently, 78% of us break our New Year’s Resolutions and feel bad about it.
Which is why I’m not making resolutions this year.
I’m done. Finito. Kaput.
Resolutions make me feel bad about myself – just like those air-brushed models on all the fashion magazines make me feel bad about myself.
Looking at the magazine covers makes me feel as if I’m not good enough, and can’t measure up. It’s the same with resolutions.
Many people say that breaking their resolutions leaves them feeling bad about themselves.
Our bad feelings result from:
1. Re-setting the same goals over and over each year.
This vicious cycle of setting goals because we think we “should,” or because we believe we can’t be productive without them makes us feel worse. All we focus on is what we don’t have, or have yet to accomplish. It creates a “lack” mentality – and that’s a recipe for disaster.
2. Resolutions take us out of the present moment.
We’re continually projecting into the future and putting off our happiness until the goal is accomplished. This is a sure-fire way to suck the joy right out of the present.
3. Creating goals based on what we “should” do instead of what we’re inspired to do sets us up for failure.
Initially, we may stick to some of our resolutions, but over the long term will power alone will never create lasting change.
To make true changes in our lives we have to feel excited about what we’re doing.
The desire for change has to come from the heart. Breaking a bad habit – for the sake of saying you “should” at the start of a new year is not motivation enough for most people. That’s why many people have to hit “rock bottom” before they commit to change unhealthy habits such as smoking, or drinking.
Sure, there are some super beings out there that can get things done through sheer will power, but can they maintain it? How many people go on diets and lose weight and then within a year or two gain it all back?
True happiness and success comes from recognizing all good in our lives and being grateful.
Only when we’re thankful for everything – the good, the bad and the ugly do we grow and learn and find the connection to our spirit. When we connect to the spirit within we’re able to transcend the daily problems and see the bigger picture of our lives – and in doing so we see our path and purpose more clearly. When we’re connected to our purpose joy results.
I’ve had enough of living in the future and putting off my happiness until this, or that is accomplished. That’s why this year I’m doing something different.
I’m going to celebrate all the things I have accomplished in 2010 instead.
I’m making a list I’m calling my “Year End Kudos,” and checking off my accomplishments.
Here’s the short list of what made my heart soar in 2010:
- Started Powered by Intuition to write about the importance of developing and using your intuition to live a successful life. Met the most awesome people through blogging. Check!
- Honed my craft and learned all about blogging. Made many wonderful and supportive new friends, and learned the insider’s trade secrets of successful blogging. Check!
- Was included in a wonderful ebook published by my friend and fellow blogger, Raam Dev. You can find it in my side bar and download it for free! Check!
- Sold my house in order to achieve my dream of living a bigger life! Moved and happily downsized. Check!
- Volunteered to help with a new aggregate blog and took on the marketing duties for The Daily Brainstorm. Get to work along side some of the most talented, productive and inspiring bloggers in the blogosphere. Check!
- Lived the first year of my life without my father. It was the hardest year of my life, but his life taught me I still had dreams worth pursuing. Check!
- Was published in an ebook offered to subscribers of The Daily Brainstorm. Find it in my sidebar and download your free copy. Check!
- Met the amazing Vishen Lakhiani, the brains behind Finer Minds, at a Meet-Up he arranged in NY. What an inspiring group of talented individuals he has working with him. Made some terrific new friends there. Check!
- Became a published author. Life long dreams do come true! Check out my best selling books: Click here!
- And, now I can say I participated in my first Campfire. Thank you Eden Journal. Check!
Living without resolutions frees you.
Now you try it. Make your own “Year End Kudos List” and see how you feel.
When you look for what you’ve accomplished instead of what you haven’t accomplished you immediately feel better about yourself and your life. Your confidence will increase as you see that you accomplished a great deal more than you’d given yourself credit for.
Now you can go with the flow of life instead of against it.
Without the anchor of resolutions weighing you down spontaneity can lead you where your heart really wants to go. Where there’s heart there’s passion. And where there’s passion there’s energy and zest for whatever it is that speaks the language of your soul.
So, tear up those resolutions. Make your “Year End Kudos list” instead – and celebrate your life and accomplishments!
Do you plan to make resolutions? What resolutions are you making? Do you find them effective? Share your accomplishments with us!
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What is the Personal Development Campfire?
This post is participating in the Personal Development Campfire series. Imagine all your favorite personal development bloggers gathered around a campfire. Campfires are great center pieces of relaxed and free flowing conversations. Think of all the wonderful conversations and the wealth of topics that might arise. That’s the idea behind the Personal Development Campfire. Your favorite bloggers all gathered together discussing a new topic every month. (Bloggers click here for details on participating in the Personal Development Campfire.)
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I love your “Year end Kudos”, Angela. Change comes easily when we are wonderfully obsessed with what we are up to. Identifying that which has us eagerly anticipating a new day will make 2011 and beyond a breakthrough year.
Hi Rob,
I’m glad you like the Year End Kudos list idea!
You’re so right – again- when we have enthusiasm in our hearts change does come easily.
I wish for you that 2011 is a breakout year – and me too!
I’m so glad we connected this year. My online experience has been enriched through knowing you Rob.
I’m not so big on New Year resolutions either–as someone else said, I make goals, not resolutions (though I can certainly resolve to make a goal and resolve to stick with it! 🙂
I think a lot of New Year resolutions are made on the fly without really thinking about it or planning or being inspired. Setting a date to do or start something new isn’t a bad idea in itself, though. My only resolution for 2011–and it makes sense to start on 1-1-2011–is to be more careful to save my tax receipts and be more orderly with them 🙂
Love your kudos list! What a great job, especially considering some of the challenges or difficult times. I’m going to make one too 🙂
Hi Leah, I think the Sag types like to be more spontaneous about things. I too would rather set a goal, or more specifically a broad intention and let the Universe surprise me by filling in the blanks.
I have a drawer in my desk specifically devoted to all things that might pertain to my taxes. I throw everything in there during the year. At tax time I dump it all on the table and organize it. It’s not perfectly organized, but at the least I do remember to throw stuff in the drawer during the year.
I’m glad you liked the Kudos list! I’d never want a repeat of 2010~! Thank you. I figured the list would make me feel better about a “challenging” year, as you put it. Yes, make one too. Why don’t you join the Campfire and share it?
LOL! I do the drawer thing too! Only thing is, I don’t always put stuff in there, and there’s all sorts of other stuff in there and things missing, etc etc.
Probably a typical Sag thing. So glad you know what that’s about–I’m a really classic Sag (double) except for moon in Taurus which gives me a fairly level, practical head, seems to me. But not very diligent with some things lol. Work? Money? Records? Pffft who cares? lmao I’d rather skip around in a meadow with flowers or hike a mountain, or something. I mean, let’s focus on what’s important in life! 🙂
Yeah, I’m more into general goals but sometimes I have to be a little more specific, especially when it comes to work and paying bills and stuff like that. Work? Who needs to work? lol
It’s getting better for Sags, that’s for sure. We’re out of the darkness and into the light! Thanks for the tip about Campfire–I checked it out; sounds like a plan. Looks like I’m too late for this month but I signed up and we’ll see 🙂
Hi Leah, I have a Virgo rising and Mars in Taurus which really grounds me to earthy do things like paying my bills on time and keeping good records, etc. Good – at least you have some earthiness to ground all that fire in your chart! The fire signs are very spontaneous – and their passions run high for living in the moment. I can do your chart if you like – just let me know!
No, it’s not too late for this month’s topic of New Year’s Resolutions. You have until the end of December to post.
Hi Angela,
You’re spot on about why so many people dislike making resolutions. The only way for lasting change to come about is when it comes from the heart as you say. Only when we realize the need for change and want it with our heart and soul will we put in the effort we need to overcome the inertia of the status quo. Change is most lasting when we are ready for it.
I love how you have chosen to focus on what you have accomplished in 2010 instead. Many of us do not pay enough attention to our accomplishments. Instead we focus on the future and what we don’t have and feel discontent.
The biggest accomplishment that I am most grateful for in 2010 is setting up Han of Harmony and getting to know so many wonderful bloggers in the self-development community.
Thank you for reminding me to focus on what I have accomplished. 🙂
Irving aka the Vizier
Hi Irving,
I’m so glad you mentioned your accomplishment with Han of Harmony.
You should feel great about that. I’m so happy for you.
Yes, I agree – change only come when our heart’s are truly invested in it.
Thank you. I wish you the best in the coming year!
And, I’m so glad we met through the blogging community this year.
You get a standing ovation for this one, Angela!!! And it’s funny because I have a post planned for 12/30 on the same subject–we’re on the same wavelength. Or close–I have ONE resolution, but it’s a sort of non-resolution resolution, which I’ll explain in my post. 😉 I love your year-end kudos list! Congratulations on all your big shifts and accomplishments!!
Hi Ande,
How marvelous – I’ve never gotten a standing ovation before. Thank you Ande!
I can’t wait to read it.
I’m glad you like the year end Kudos list.
Thanks for the congratulations too.
I wish you a wonderful New Year!
Angela,
For some reason I’ve never been big on New Year’s resolutions. Probably because it doesn’t offer me any more incentive to achieve something than I have in general. So, I find this to be a great idea! What a wonderful way to approach the new year by really reflecting on how wonderful our past year has been. I did this last year, though not consciously aware or with a purpose, but this year I will certainly be giving myself kuddos. And, overall I will be looking very positively toward the coming year, though with goals set regardless of the occasion. 🙂
Hi Joe,
That’s great. Yes, do give yourself kudos!
I agree – resolutions don’t give me any added incentive either.
I hope you have a marvelous New Year Joe!
All the best in 2011.
Thanks so much for coming by and adding to the conversation here.
Thanks for the sound advice. I’ve been able to lose weightr by doing exactly what you prescribe. Instead of setting a “resolution” that I will lose “x” number of lbs by a certain date, I just started eating differently as if I was already a slim person. And it worked!
Rosemarie,
That’s wonderful. I have to try that!
Angela,
You’ve had some amazing accomplishments. I love these ideas!! I like the idea of looking back and giving ourselves a pat on the back rather than setting up unrealistic goals. And sometimes goals limit us. I think I would have felt intimidated a few years ago if I told myself I’d have two books and a blog. Instead it just happened naturally!
I’d love to join your campfire, too.
Thanks and Happy Holidays!
Hi Betsy,
Thank you. I’m so glad you like these ideas. Yes, I’d much rather go with a positive act than one that makes me feel “less than.” I agree about goals limiting us. As Dominic, the previous commenter said: he sets intentions. I think that sums it up for me. I like to allow the Universe to surprise me. If I set an intention rather than a very specific goal I think we allow for miracles to take place.
I’m so glad we met this year Betsy. You’ve made my blogging experience so fulfilling.
The fact that you had two books happen naturally is awesome. I’m so happy for you and I cannot wait to see what wonderful things you accomplish in 2011 too!
Please do join the campfire. The more the merrier!
Happy Holidays and Happy New Year to you dearest Betsy!
I’m with you! Great post. I, too, gave up making resolutions, at least in the way they are normally made…and broken. I especially liked your insight that they take us out of the present moment.
Your kudos suggestions sounds like my New Year’s Eve ritual. I write a letter to the old year, thanking it for all the blessings it brought. Then I write a letter of welcome to the new year, sharing what I’m looking forward to. Then I burn both letters in the fireplace as an offering.
Finally, I choose my word of the year. A guide word or focus word. For example, my word for 2010 is “attend.”
I love your kudos list. You have been very busy this year with fun and exciting things! Congratulations!
Happy New Year!
Galen,
Thank you so much for sharing your wonderful ritual for ending the old year and starting the new!
I like that word: attend. Let us attend….to what matters in the coming year.
I’m glad you like the kudos list too. Honestly, I think the list makes things sound a lot bigger than they actually were, but thank you!
Happy New Year to you too!~
What a GREAT year you had. 🙂 …and 2011 will be even better!
I don’t set goals, I set INTENTIONS, as I find them much more powerful.
Just an idea… 😉
Dominic
Hi Dominic,
Yes, I agree, and thank you, intentions are much better since it give you a wide swath in which to create while riding the surf of the Universe! Thank you. It’s such a pleasure to have connected with you this year!
Hi Angela,
I appreciate the insight and wisdom you share. Appreication is a great way to be inspired right into 2011. I’m going to do what you say, make my list and link to yours. Thanks for being you and Happy 2011! xo
Hi Tess,
Great. Make your list and link to mine. Let the fun begin!
Thanks so much Tess. Thanks for being you too! I’m so glad we met this year. You’re definitely one of the people who made my year so much brighter. Happy 2011 to you too. Hugs!
I gave up resolutions years ago.
I still make goals, but NOT resolutions….
Like your list 🙂
Hi Carolee,
I actually haven’t made a resolution in years either. I’m like you Carol, I set goals for myself when appropriate. Mostly I like to have a general idea of where I’m going and let the spirit of spontaneity move me when the time is right.
Thanks, my list is just a way to show people you can count anything you did this that made you feel good as an accomplishment. Feeling good – is what life is about. The more good feelings we have – the more good we emit into the world. We become beacons of good that lift other’s vibrations. That’s how I like to look at it.
Love the kudos list idea. I just wrote a post earlier this week where I counted my blessings. It’s a wonderful way to celebrate, remember, pay tribute and love your life’s most precious events and people. Thanks for sharing your wonderful list. It tells us so much about you, what you’ve been through, accomplished and where your heart is. I love it all and you too. Thanks for this amazing sharing post, Angela. Happy new year.
Hi Katie,
I’m glad you like the kudos idea. I loved your post earlier this week where you counted your blessings. You have accomplished so many magnificent things this year Katie. I hope you know that I think you’re miraculous rising star!
It is, your so right, a wonderful way to acknowledge the people in your life that have meant so much and been so supportive. You’re one of the people I met through A-list Blogging that has enriched my life ten fold, and I love all that you do and you too. I cannot wait to see what wonderful things you accomplish in 2011. Happy New Year to you as well my dear friend.
I love this … “Year End Kudos” truly fabulous!!!!!!! I do excited about new year resolutions choosing them with an inspired heart – yet I also agree that missing the mark or “failing” is incredibly awful. Year End Kudos’ is a brilliant way to focus and look at what went well and give us momentum and joy.
Congratulations on 2010 lots of great things 🙂 and journeying your first year without your father, I know that is hard. I loved the tribute post you wrote Always Keep Your Dreams Alive https://www.poweredbyintuition.com/?p=3027
Hi Aileen,
I’m glad you enjoyed the post. I’m very excited about the idea of Year End Kudos vs. resolutions. I’m free bird at heart, so the idea of spontaneously connecting with a project or a passion resonates with me more than set goals do.
I only listed all those things to give an example of how each of us can find even small things in our lives to celebrate. I do miss my father, but I feel his life is a beacon for me now lighting the way toward where I’m going.
Thanks so much for always being so supportive Aileen. You’re one of the people I’m blessed to have meet this year!
Welcome to the Campfire! I love your Year End Kudos. I like the “count your blessing” idea that it conveys. I always find it incredibly rewarding to think about the things I have accomplished. All throw a few of my own year end blogging kudos into the mix. I started the Personal Development Campfire – yay! Eden Journal survived the first year and managed to grow in readership. I’ve connected with many wonderful people, which was an unexpected benefit of starting a blog.
I agree with your outlook on Resolutions. I have to think a big reason for the failure is the selection of “cool or popular” resolutions. People don’t put enough thought into making worth while improvements. I bet over 95% of the resolutions made fall in that list of the top 11. The differences in each of us should mean that there aren’t 11 most popular resolutions. It should mean there are hundreds or thousands of resolutions.
Hi Eric,
I’m so glad you came by for a visit. I hope the Campfire is now turning into a bonfire! I’m so happy about your goals being met too. The Campfire is a brilliant idea. I’m happy about your success in growing Eden Journal as well. And, I agree the best part about blogging is the great community of people you get to mingle with – like you.
I agree the problem with resolution is that they’re all “shoulds” instead of desires and passions that flow from the heart. I said the year before I wanted to start blogging – and I did. I had no trouble with that goal because it was exciting to me. If I had said I wanted 6 pack abs in 2010 – I’d be disappointed.
Thanks so much for coming by. It’s a pleasure to meet the man who started the Campfire!
Thanks so much for including my article: Why You Should Give New Year’s Resolutions the Boot! in your list of great reads around the net Preeti!