Damn! Why can’t I ever stop thinking?
This was my mantra at 7 am as I tried in vain to meditate.
Some days I’m able to get deep into the zone of a meditation where my thoughts slow and then stop for a while. These are the best meditations. I’m detached but present in the flow of Universal Mind. I feel a clarity and a sense that all is well – just the way things are. Perfectly imperfect.
I am aware of a connection to all life which gently gives way to a quiet joy. I ride the waves of this Universal flow as long as I can before thoughts get the better of me again. I take the quiet joy with me out into my day and go about my business.
Today I could not surf that wave. It was just one big thought after another knocking me off my spiritual surf board until I got tired of trying to climb back on and gave up. All I kept hearing was: I have work to do. I need to exercise. I’m running low on milk. Got to get to the ATM and deposit that check.
With each thought I squeezed my eyes tighter and said NO not now! But, they wouldn’t stop. I followed my breathing again and my thoughts slowed somewhat but not to the extent where I could make that connection to the soothing calmness I craved.
Later while journaling it hit me. I was trying too hard. You cannot force yourself to get in the flow – It just doesn’t work that way.
It reminded me of getting injections at the doctor’s office as a little girl. The idea that my little fanny was going to be pierced by a long shiny needle terrified me. And, no matter what my mother said, or the nurse about relaxing I’d tense up anyway which only made it hurt more.
It’s the same with those pesky thoughts. I was forcibly trying to resist thinking which makes no sense at all. The idea is to let them come and then go without reacting to the intrusion in your meditation. All pain comes from resistance. I knew this, so why wasn’t I doing it?
Resistance is a form of control. To resist your thoughts is the same as trying to control them. You can’t control your thoughts anymore than you can control another person or situation. All you can do is be present, observe and let them go, be it a person or situation. As soon as you start tangling with them it becomes a battle of the wills. Then the ego gets involved – and the ego hates to lose.
Resistance can crop up in any area of our lives – not just morning meditation. While journaling I started thinking of all the other areas in my life where resistance had caused problems. I was reminded of how I’d clung to an unhappy relationship because of my resistance to accept that it was over. I also thought of how long it took me to stop resisting that it was time to sell my house and move on, and how I’d resisted following my heart in my choice of career for so long. This brought me full circle to realizing that the mornings that I got the most out of my meditation it came naturally without any resistance to my thoughts. They popped in – and they popped out.
I saw so clearly that resisting anything dams up the natural flow of our lives. The energy we expend to dam up the flow sucks the joy out of any experience in our lives. What a useless practice this is. Resistance is futile because in resisting we hope to avoid pain in some area of our lives, but what actually happens is the complete opposite – we create more pain that actually seeps into every area of our lives. Pain should be a warning that something is wrong, but when we dam up the feelings and get used to the pain it becomes all too familiar. No more of creating pain for me. After this realization I’m adopting new mantra in meditation and in life: Resist nothing.
Are there any areas in your life where you’ve been resisting change? Can you see how it has it affected you? How will your life change if you stop resisting and release the waters from the dam?
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I’m lovin’ the Star Trek Borg reference! Thank you for this article. Just reading it, I began to feel my body relax. I’ve been very resistant lately, and this is a great reminder to just let go. I’m going to pass it along!
Hi Teri,
I’m so glad you enjoyed this post.
It is still true – resistance is the key to failure.
Going around obstacles is the answer.
So nice meeting you – Welcome!
“You cannot force yourself to get in the flow – It just doesn’t work that way” oh, you are so right!!!!!!!
I can’t count the items I’ve been caught in a battle with resistance. I do get frustrated when I have “shallow” mediation the times I just can’t get truly connected. If I have the time I take a walk and that usually helps other times I’m in an in between land for a large part of the day.
Hi Aileen,
I guess we think if we “try” hard enough we can do it – but getting in the flow is counter-intuitive. We have to let go.
It’s not easy for us go-getter types, is it?
Tell me about it – me too. I get so frustrated when my meditation is shallow and I can’t get connected.
A walk is a great idea. I find it helps me to calm down.
Mmm, I know what you mean about the in-between land too – when I don’t have a good calm start to my day.
Thanks so much for adding to the conversation here Aileen. It’s such a pleasure having you visit!
Hi Angela,
How very true… what we resist, persists. Whenever I get stuck in my writing I eventually catch on that I am out of flow. No matter how hard I work or try to grind it out it is now just getting worse and worse. That is when it is time for me to step away and examine my mood and my self-talk. The best way I do this is to talk a walk around the pond to recalibrate my thinking. Attitude and mood is everything. We can never get in flow with Universal Mind if we in the mood of the problem. When I take mood-command I am able to take mind-command and get back on track.
Hi Rob,
What we resist – persists – absolutely!
Stepping away and examining you’re self talk – what a great idea.
Taking a walk in nature – away from where you were experiencing the problem – especially by a pond, sounds heavenly.
I love how you create new terminology: Mood-Command – awesome Rob!
Thank you so much for adding such depth to the conversation here!
It’s a pleasure having you visit.
Hi Angela,
What a beautiful and practical way to talk about resistance! I completely agree with everything you said.
I just wrote an article about understanding temptation instead of resisting it. Thanks so much for the reminder: resistance is futile and more painful than accepting what is and moving on. Off to RT 🙂
Hi Manal,
That’s me – Miss Practical!
Thank you so much – when you agree I know I’ve got it right!
I didn’t get your post yet in my inbox yet. I will go right now to read it.
Thank you for the RT too!
How right you are! I have come to the conclusion that when I cannot get those thoughts to vanish when I am meditating, that there is a good reason for this. I believe it is a message that we need to reconcile something; that the universe is telling us to attend to something, not ignore it. For example. I had a problem with a project I was working on for a client. I could not get it out of my head. Exactly a you described, the more I resisted or shooed it away, the more dominant it became. So I decided to let my thoughts go their natural course while trying to meditate. What happened is that as I let them flow the solution to the problem project presented itself. I saw the answer. So sometimes we need to examine our thoughts, however distracting or trivial they may seem, to discover something wonderful.
Hi Rosemarie,
Wow~! How wonderful that you got the solution to the problem in meditation.
I’m so glad you brought this up – you’re soo right!
When it’s not just anxious thoughts recirculating based on fears and worries, etc. letting your thoughts flow to their natural course may allow the answer to bubble up.
You’ve made a great point here. Thank you!
What a great way of looking at life, Angela. “Resistance is a form of control.” That opens up so many ideas and possibilities for me when I think of momentum (my favourite subject) and when I think of flow in my life. Where I am resisting is where there is no flow. I’m going to use this as a barometer for change. A way to gauge where I need to stop pushing and controlling. Thanks for this thoughtful and insightful post.
Hi Katie,
You are the Queen of Momentum – look how fast and how far your blog has come in such a short period of time. I am awe struck!
You put it so well: Where I am resisting in where there is no flow.
It will be an excellent gauge to see where you’ve dammed up your flow by trying to exert control/resistance!
I’m so happy you enjoyed the post and got something out of it!
Thanks so much for your insightful comments.