We all have dreams. But in order to make dreams come into reality, it takes an awful lot of determination, dedication, self-discipline, and effort. –Jesse Owens
One morning a top heavy woman in a low cut blouse, short skirt, wearing red cowboy boots showed up to fill in for my secretary. I showed her to the desk in the reception area outside my office. Before taking off her fringed suede cowboy jacket she pulled a small booklet out of her pocket and placed it on the desk.
While she hung up her jacket in the closet I glanced at the booklet titled, “Backstage.”
“Are you an actress?” I asked very proud of myself for knowing what this magazine was used for.
The woman gave me an icy stare before answering, “No, I’m a playwright.” It was obvious that she felt that being a playwright was superior to being an actor.
While I worked in the financial industry I was a writer in my spare time so, meeting someone who was so bold as to announce that she was a playwright was very intriguing, to say the least.
Fast forward a few months and we became friends.
I was so envious of her life. She was the author of a successful series of young adult novels and lived in in Manhattan Plaza, a subsidized apartment complex for members of the performing arts. She also wrote periodically for a television soap opera and worked temp jobs only when she needed extra money. She spent the rest of her time writing and hanging out with other cool “artists” in coffee shops and cafes.
To say I was impressed would have been putting it mildly. I’d never met anyone like her. She was living her dream – actually my dream. I was invited to her wedding where I was seated next to her agent. Later I became an associate producer for her play which was performed at several regional theaters.
It was all just too good to be true.
The only problem was that while I was living vicariously through her my life didn’t change one bit. She kept urging me to quit my job and do what I loved but, I was afraid to give up the security. I was also afraid of what people would think of me.
Eventually we lost touch when she moved to L.A.
So, why am I telling you all this?
When I look back on it now I realize that I while I thought I was bringing my dreams to life by hanging out with her and sharing my work with her agent – I was only “scheming.”
I thought that if I hung around with people who were doing what I wanted to do that my life would change.
It didn’t change though because I didn’t change. I was still too attached to my suits and briefcase. That was my identity and I couldn’t “dream” beyond it.
The Universe had synchronistically placed at my feet, a role model and path to show me that there were people doing what I only dreamed of doing but, I had been too insecure and scared to take the first step.
What I learned from this was that if you want “be” something you have to “be” that something inside or all the validation from the outside world will not make you believe it is the truth.
In other words you must be able to shout from the mountain tops with full confidence that you are already this “thing” that you dream of becoming.
For example, this friend thought I had talent as a writer. She introduced me to her agent who also thought I was talented. I was elated but, I had doubts and felt so insecure inside that nothing changed on the outside because I did not take action.
The reason why I was so taken by this woman when she announced with full confidence that she was a “playwright,” was because she was so sure of it. She wasn’t embarrassed about temping as a secretary. She didn’t say, “I’m hoping to have a play I’ve written produced but, in the meantime I’m temping……” She was already completely confident that she was a playwright.
Each of us needs to arrive at this same unshakeable conclusion inside if we wish to achieve our dreams.
When your beliefs inside match what you wish to achieve outside absolutely nothing will hold you back from achieving it.
In the meantime stop scheming. Stop trying to find “back doors” to do the thing you love. The only thing that will allow you to develop the confidence to shout out “I am…..this or that” with complete confidence is to practice doing the thing itself. No amount of rubbing elbows and social climbing can do that for you.
In order to arrive at this conclusion you will have to work hard at honing your craft – whatever that may be and not be tempted to take side entrances to getting where you want to go. And, I can guarantee you it won’t happen overnight either.
It took me 2o years to own my expertise and to finally write a book about to how to create a life you love by relying on your intuition – which is the book idea I pitched to the agent I mention in this article.
Be prepared to work hard and not give up
You will need to take classes, get training and practice, practice and practice some more. And, in doing so there will come a point when your beliefs will shift and you will no longer feel like a sham – and you own your brilliance. You will become a person who can shout to the whole world that you are who you say you are and then and only then will things change on the outside to match what you believe on the inside.
Are you the same person on the inside that you claim to be on the outside? Can you think of any instances in your life where you weren’t yet ready to own your goal?
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P.S. My book, The Intuition Principle is on tour. It reached #8 on Amazon today!
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