There’s a big difference between intuition & wishful thinking. And the differences are maximized to the 10th power when your heart is broken.
Wishful thinking is trying to manifest a particular outcome in which you have very little influence.
You know it’s wishful thinking if you vacillate between faith that it’s going to happen and fear that it won’t. The fear stems from your attachment to the outcome and from not wanting to hear your intuition, which may be telling you otherwise.
When you’re attached to seeing only one outcome you will block your intuition from coming through. No matter how many times you ask for intuitive guidance you’ll find yourself unsure of whether your intuition was saying yes you’ll get back together or if it was just your wishful thinking. (Watch the video at the end about why wishful thinking blocks your intuition).
Don’t confuse wishful thinking for faith
Having faith is when you are confident that things are going to work out for the best and for your highest good, for all parties concerned—no matter what.
You know it’s true faith if you’re able to relinquish the need to control the outcome, meaning you practice non-attachment to how your desire will manifest or even if it will manifest at all. You have faith that a power greater than you knows what it is doing.
Understanding where the confusion comes from
What I’m referring to is what can be most confusing about knowing that we create our reality. So many people think that if they just maintain a positive outlook and visualize and keep seeing that something has worked out the way they desire it, that it will eventually.
The dark side of the Law of Attraction
The good thing about more people knowing about the LOA is that it expanded our collective consciousness to realizing that we can and do create our reality with our thoughts and emotions. The dark side is that many people may be “holding thoughts” believing that this is what you’re supposed to do to make LOA work.
When you “hold thoughts” you focus intently upon one specific outcome without allowing the Universe to provide an even better outcome or what might be in your highest good.
Say your greatest desire is to be reunited with your ex.
Or playing the lottery and hitting it big.
Is there a chance your ex could see the “error of their ways” and return to you? Yes, of course.
Is there a chance you could pick the winning lottery numbers? Yes, of course.
The two key questions though are – is it in your best interest to focus all your attention on trying to force this outcome and can you exert any influence upon the situations you desire to manifest? In other words what recourse do you have, what actions can you take to co-create the future you desire?
Put your efforts into things where you can have an impact
Obsessively trying to win the lottery or on getting someone else to do something is futile. The lottery is a game of chance. Nothing you do can change the odds. Even if you were to sell your house and use the money to buy 350,000 lottery tickets and try 350,000 number combinations there is no guarantee you would win (and people have done that and lost).
Holding thoughts about the return of someone who has broken up with you and moved on is also futile. If the person won’t speak to you, see you, answer your calls or letters and has made it clear that it is over then you are expending all your energy on something that is beyond your control to influence.
If you enter a sweepstakes where the winner is chosen based upon an essay or jingle or slogan you must create then you have an opportunity to take an action that could help you win.
If your ex is speaking to you, going to couples counseling or open to the idea of working things out and will see you then by all means exert every positive effort you can to get back together.
Plus, what other opportunities are you missing and perhaps walking right past that don’t see because you’re focused on holding thoughts about this one thing working out the way you want? The truth is opportunity exists all around us all the time it’s only our perception that limits us from seeing these doorways.
Understanding why we want certain things
If we examine our desire to “win the lottery” we will see that what we truly desire is financial security. If you truly believe you’re lucky there’s no need to obsess about winning, is there? You probably already “win” at things often.
When we are heart-sick over the loss of the love of our lives and continually focus on bringing them back what we really are pining after is “how we felt” when the person was in our lives. We felt “whole and complete.” We believe our happiness will return when this person returns when really what we’re missing is the “feeling” of happiness we had.
“Holding thoughts” holds up our future
When we wish for one outcome so intently we are telling the Universe that we believe we have all the answers. We are broadcasting that we don’t trust the stuff of the Universe to mix and meld properly unless we are in control.
To be overly attached to a single outcome impedes the creative spark of the Universe. Are you not impressed with the way the Universe “engineers” things and delights you with the surprising ways they manifest? Wishing for only this one outcome means that what you will get is likely to be devoid of the “creative spark.”
What is the Creative Spark?
It’s that magical spark that is created when the Universe orchestrates events in our lives. It is an act of creation that is above and beyond our small human control. It is when the Universe pours through us using us as a vessel to create.
It’s the synchronicity of bumping into a person by sheer coincidence at the dog groomer’s and falling madly in love. It’s sitting down at the computer and having an inspired piece of writing come through you. It’s an inspired idea for a business or new service that literally falls from the sky into your mind one day. This is the “creative spark.”
We can never recreate that – it just happens, courtesy of the Universe. It cannot be forced by sheer will. Your will is not creative and it will never be creative. True creativity is channeled through human beings from a higher power, what I refer to as Greater Intelligence. It never comes through using the rational mind or through the use of sheer will. Inspiration or true creativity is communicated to you from Greater Intelligence via your intuition.
Holding thoughts snuffs out the Creative Spark
If you “hold thoughts” about having the love of your life return you might “make it happen” but, like trying to bring back the dead you might end up in soulless zombie-like relationship. A zombie is “soulless” simply because when the witchdoctor brings them back to life they have no soul.
You cannot force your will upon another person, even if you think you’re only working the “laws of attraction” and not holding them by physical force. The act of focusing so intently upon one outcome, especially when it involves another human being, is an act of bondage. Why does a witchdoctor create a zombie in the first place? Because he wants a slave.
When you acquire anything through forcing your will you are creating bondage. Anything you acquire by this method will not be what you had hoped. It will be devoid of soul – devoid of the creative spark of life.
The only way to bring back the love of your life is to completely let them go. If they are meant to return to you they are going to return of their own free will. Only then will you have the happiness you desire.
When we’re attached to one outcome, especially when it involves love we ought to examine why we feel so empty with out this person. We need to look inside and develop self-love, more self worth and confidence. There is nothing outside of us. Everything emanates from within.
If we don’t have enough love for ourselves we will never truly find love outside of ourselves with another person. It will never be enough. We will consume the other person in an attempt to fill the void within ourselves and eventually push the other person away.
Holding thoughts means we aren’t living in the present
When you “hold thoughts” about something happening your aren’t living in the present moment. You’re postponing your happiness until this “thing” happens, whether it is the return of your soul mate or the winning of the lottery.
When you aren’t living in the present moment, you aren’t really living. Examine your desires and if you believe you are attached to a particular outcome and “holding thoughts” about it let them go. One big clue that you are holding thoughts is constant vacillation between faith and fear. One minute your positive you’re getting back together and walking on air and the next minute you’re completely down in the dumps.
Allow the Universe to provide you with your highest good or something better
Focus on the feelings having what you desire would bring to your life such as joy, love and abundance instead of upon one specific outcome. Let the Universe do its job, infuse your future with the “creative spark” and be delighted by the outcome.
You’ll be glad you did!
Watch this video on why wishful thinking blocks your intuition:
Have you ever found yourself stubbornly “holding thoughts?” What outcome were you attached to? How did it turn out?
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P.S. Learn how to tap into your intuition and get the guidance you need: Start here!
Do you focus on your struggles?
Many times we get so caught up in focusing on what we don’t want that we forget that we can change our mindset. Have you forgotten?
If so, I’m glad you’re reading this. I forget sometimes too……and have to remind myself that I can change my mindset.
I like to think of my mindset as if it were a television. When I realize I’ve spent way too much time on a broadcast that depresses me and makes me feel worse I can change the channel. And you can change your channel too.
There will always be struggles and challenges in our lives. That’s just part of life. The sooner we accept this and find a way to navigate challenges without letting them dictate our state of mind the happier we will be overall.
It’s okay to be unhappy and upset when things happen. That’s normal and you’re human after all. There is a point however that we have to pick ourselves up and deal with what life has dealt us. We can’t wallow in our negative mindset and expect to feel better. Once the initial shock and pain has subsided it’s time to do what’s necessary.
The only thing we truly can control is our mindset
The truth is we have little control over any circumstances other than our mindset so, to let circumstances keep us focused on the station that reruns the same depressing show over and over is insane. We must choose to change the channel away from the one rebroadcasting the obstacles and challenges in our lives. Choosing to change the channel showing our problems doesn’t mean we ignore them. The problems are real and they aren’t going away unless we DO SOMETHING!
Doing something about our problems is the way out of them. No amount of wishing or visualizing and repeating affirmations is going to change things until we take action.
Want a better job? Get your resume cleaned up!
Want to improve your health? Get rid of the junk food!
Want a loving partner? Be the loving partner that you wish to attract!
Want to support yourself with your spiritual or healing gifts? Learn to market yourself.
But we can feel better while we work our way out of our problems. That’s what changing the channel is all about.
When you take action it’s important to focus on what you want and not what you don’t. Instead of focusing on how much you dislike the current job you’re in while you’re looking for a new one turn your thought process around. Focus on how you would feel if you already had a job you love. Tap into those emotions right now. Send out those resumes, call up old colleagues and see if they know of any openings and go to networking meetings while you’re feeling all pumped up and excited about already having this awesome new job.
You’re attitude pervades everything that you do. Feeling great, as if you already have a job you love, while taking action is going to open more doors than going around complaining and whining about your current job.
How to Change the Channel On Your Mindset in 5 Steps:
1. Define the problem. What’s eating you? Hate your job, dislike where you live, want lose weight, not making enough money?
2. What would you like instead? Ask yourself what you would like instead? A job you love, a home in a place you love, a healthy strong slim body, having more than enough money to have and do everything you desire? Be specific!
3. Elicit the emotions behind having what you’d like instead. Ask yourself this magic question: Why do I want “this” instead? Here’s an example: Say you are focusing on how unhappy you are in your current home. You ask yourself what you’d like instead and you say you’d like to live in a house overlooking a river in mountains.
Now ask the “magic” question: Why? You reply, “Because I love seeing mountains as far as the eye can see and I love seeing water. But why…….keep digging until you hit the emotion behind the reason you want what you want. You ask “why” again and the answer is because you feel blissful, joyous and at peace when you’re in a natural setting. So now you’ve gotten to the root of the emotion you want to tune into: joy and peace.
4. Change the channel! Put your attention on the beautiful way you feel in your new mountain home overlooking a river. See the house….the garden, the soaring mountains all around you and the sparkling water as it rushes downriver. Feel the joy and peace and the thrill of living where your soul is nourished.
5. Take inspired action. Now with this feeling in the forefront of your mind take the actions you need to take to change the circumstances of your life. Call the realtor you met in the grocery checkout line……..visit some open houses for properties along the river, clean out a few closets in preparation for your move. Indulge your senses in the emotions and experience of owning a home in your ideal spot.
I guarantee that if you change your channel from your struggles, problems and what you don’t want in your life to the channel that features what you want and makes you feel AMAZING and take action to change your circumstances your life will ultimately become an amazing reflection of the emotions you feel. Try it now!
What channel is your mindset on? What channel would you prefer to watch instead? How will this impact your life?
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P.S. Get in touch with your intuition: Click here!
This article was inspired by one of my all time favorite books: Excuse Me Your Life is Waiting by Lynn Grabhorn
Law of Attraction: Would you rather be grateful, appreciative, or thankful?
When it comes to the Law of Attraction, does it matter if you are grateful, appreciative or thankful when you’re working on manifesting a desired outcome?
Most everyone knows that you ought to focus on what you want rather than on what you don’t because what you focus on expands.
If what you focus on does expand (and I think it does) how is that affected by whether you’re “grateful, appreciative or thankful” for what you’re focusing on?
There is a distinction between them.
I’m the first one to endorse having an “attitude or gratitude” but gratitude sometimes make me feel “obligated.” When I feel obligated it can lead to feeling responsible and feelings of guilt. It may just be me but lately I’ve started thinking that while “gratitude” is the right attitude, it may not be the right word.
There was a comment on the Powered by Intuition Fan page recently in response to something I posted. The reply to the post was that they’d rather think in terms of being “appreciative.” This is what started me thinking about this issue in the first place.
Appreciation feels different than Gratitude
I immediately felt a difference when I thought of being “appreciative” versus “grateful.” Gratitude has more of an underlying sense of desperation to it. For example you can be grateful that you averted bankruptcy or that you narrowly avoided foreclosure. I probably wouldn’t say, “I was appreciative” in either of those situations. It doesn’t feel like a fit for the severity of either foreclosure or bankruptcy.
Gratitude implies you “owe” something in exchange. There’s a saying about “owing someone a debt of gratitude” which may be where the connotation came from. In any case, the more I think about it the more I feel that appreciation is a better word to “expand what we focus on.”
I appreciate my good health. I appreciate my loving family. I appreciate my supportive friends. I appreciate my wonderful PbI community and tribe. I appreciate my great job. This feels and sounds better to me than using the word “gratitude.”
Appreciation versus Thankfulness
Once I realized that “gratitude” had this connotation about “owing a debt” I wanted to make sure I found the right word so I began thinking about being “thankful.”
The more I thought about it the more I felt Thankful was very similar to Gratitude. It has the same undertone of desperation and obligation. “I’m so thankful they made an exception and accepted my application even though it was late.” You see what I mean?
From now I’m going to be Appreciative
I like Appreciation best. I just feels right. I’m going for an attitude of appreciating all the good in my life.
My new mantra is now: I appreciate all there is in my wonderful life!
Try it yourself and see if it feels “lighter” to you too.
What do you think? Is there a distinction between being grateful, appreciative and thankful?
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P.S. Follow your intuition to your true path in life: Click here.
Spiritual Laws of Success: How to Gain the Support of the Universe
Do you ever wonder how some people seem to get everything they want?
You know the kind of people I’m talking about, the ones who appear to have been born under a lucky star?
Everything goes their way and each time they set out to accomplish something not only to do they but, they make a smashing success out of it.
Whatever they touch or desire to bring about unfolds elegantly and almost magically with the Universe supporting them with one synchronicity or serendipitous event after another. They set out to do something and “suddenly” the money appears to complete their project (synchronicity) or they meet a person out of the “clear blue” who profoundly changes the direction of their life forever afterward (serendipity).
These types of people aren’t born under a lucky star at all.
In fact there is a “system” to how they behave and how they think that you can emulate in order to gain the support of the Universe too.
They are simply following the spiritual laws of success, whether they realize it or not, which results in the Universe mirroring back to them exactly what they put out.
The Universe isn’t random
Whatever we do, think and say creates the response and reaction we get from the Universe. If we don’t like the reactions we are getting it means WE have to change because one thing is for sure, the Universe isn’t about to.
The “Universe” is a self-organizing system that reacts to our actions. This means that there is an underlying program that runs the Universe. And this program has been set to react in specific ways to our actions, which is a good thing because it shows there is a pattern we can study and learn from. If we put in a bit of effort to study the actions of successful people we too can learn how to better interact with the Universe in order to achieve greater results.
Spiritual Laws of Success
The spiritual laws of success I’m referring to come from Raymond Holliwell’s book, “Working with the Law.”
How to get the Universe to Support You by properly using the Spiritual Laws
1. Law of Thinking: Watch your thoughts. Do not allow yourself to go down a path of negative thinking about anything. Stop complaining! You push away your good when you do that.
2. Law of Supply: Think Big. Don’t limit your supply by focusing on what you don’t have. The Universe is unlimited and your life is unlimited. Only you put limitations upon it.
3. Law of Attraction: Create a strong desire and expect that it will manifest. Your desire must be a vibrational match for what you desire. See it, feel it and know that it will manifest and and act as if it already has.
4. Law of Receiving: Focus on what you can give others. The more you give the more you will get. When you are only focused on getting or believe you’re “owed” something the law of receiving won’t work.
5. Law of Increase: Praise increases your good. Use positive affirmations. See the good in every situation and then focus on that. The more you praise or “bless” a situation the more increase you will see.
6. Law of Compensation: The more you put in the more you’ll get back. The only way to become successful is to work at it. You can’t just dream about it and expect to be compensated. You have to do the work.
7. Law of Non-Resistance: Quit focusing on obstacles. Go around them instead! If something stands in your way find another way instead. There is always a solution and you find it when you stop obsessing about the obstacle.
8. Law of Forgiveness: Increase the flow of good in your life by forgiving. Forgiving allows you to release the energy around the situation that was frozen within you. This frees you and frees up the flow of good.
9. The Law of Sacrifice: Nothing comes without a price. If you really want to do something it will entail sacrifice of some sort. There are only 1,440 minutes in a day. You have to make hard choices sometimes to get where you want to go.
10. Law of Obedience: You can’t outsmart the laws that govern the Universe. Use them properly and they work for you. Use them improperly and they will work against you.
11. Law of Success: Take action now. Nothing is more empowering than action. Let go of excuses, overcome your fear and indecision and take a stand for your success.
This is what successful people do to gain the support of the Universe. Are you ready to do what it takes to take a stand for your success? If so the Universe will have your back too.
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P.S. Learn to listen to your intuition – click here.
Photo credit: Fotolia©-Kirill-Kedrinski
The process of spiritual growth is different for everyone. During this time we absorb so-called “rules” about spirituality that we never think to question but, according to author Betsy Chasse, perhaps should.
Author Betsy Chasse began to question these spiritual rules after she went through several crises in her life. Her book, “Tipping Sacred Cows,” examines the spiritual tenets we assume we must ascribe to and whether we actually need to buy into them in order to “be spiritual.”
I read the book and enjoyed it very much. I recommend it if you too question some of these “rules.”
1. What does “Tipping Sacred Cows” mean?
A sacred cow is something we hold it up against any sort of criticism. We protect it, even if it doesn’t serve our highest good. We have beliefs about ourselves and the world that we have picked up along the way from our family, friends, teachers, the media and they become ingrained in us and we mold our lives around those beliefs, often we don’t even know they exist. To tip those sacred cows means to take them out and really examine them, see if they are true or just a belief, a story you’ve convinced yourself is true. If it’s not – tip it over, let it go, work at it until it’s gone.
2. The book is a hilarious guided tour of what you perceive to be the spiritual propaganda most of us have been fed; please tell Powered by Intuition readers what happened in your life that changed how you perceived these spiritual concepts?
Life is a series of epiphanies. It’s a constant unraveling of self. With each one we can either choose to evolve, re-examine our beliefs and change or continue living from the same place. The biggest change for me came when I realized nothing was static. An idea, a concept of a belief needed to be able to evolve as I did, as my life evolved. What might have been working for me during one part of my life, doesn’t mean it will always work or always be true or ever was true. Being spiritual isn’t about what you practice, what yoga you do, whether you’re a vegan or not. You are a spiritual being. Meaning comes from you, not what you do. For me finding my meaning came when I looked at myself and asked myself, what do I want in my life, who do I want to be and started to be that. I let go of worrying about the how’s, the yoga pants, and if I had Ganesh in the right part of my house.
3. “Like any good drug, once a moment of enlightenment happens, we begin to attempt to recreate that experience, and with every attempt it seems to get further away. Thus the eternal hunt through the maze for the cheese. The seeking becomes the endgame, and when we are seeking, we aren’t really being.” (P.35)
I loved this section Betsy and I have experienced this myself. Can you give readers an example of one of those “enlightenment experiences” that was the catalyst for chasing experience instead of being? Instead of chasing these experiences what should we do instead?
One of my most powerful experiences came when I first experienced a group of people so enthralled by a teacher. I got caught up for sure in group consciousness, suddenly feeling connected to the people around me in a way I had never experienced. I felt I belonged for the first time. That was amazing and I wanted to recreate that experience over and over again, so I attempted to manufacture it instead of just allowing it to happen, like it did the first time, organically, but just living my life fully and taking each experience as it comes rather than forcing it.
4. Why does living in “non-attachment’ from your point of view, not work for most people?
Mostly because we are a society built on attachments. Our entire realty is based on having. Not just things, but love, relationships. We are a social species, we are emotional and the more we try to be less emotional and less attached because it’s the “right” way to be, the more frustrated we become. It’s like saying no: try telling yourself you can’t have something and watch your body react. I have found the more I allow myself to be honest about my attachments the less I feel the need to be attached.
5. You book covers all the major spiritual topics such as enlightenment, the law of attraction, attachment, the Universe, masks we wear through life, feelings, living in bliss, the ego, fear and judgment, self-love and forgiveness and anger. Which of these topics do you feel is the most misunderstood and why?
For me the biggest was what does it mean to be spiritual. I always felt I was doing it wrong, or that I was somehow missing something. My definition of spiritual didn’t match up with someone else’s. I don’t feel alone in this. We all want to be happy so we’re looking for “the answer” and we keep looking for it. We’re busy and it’s hard and time-consuming work, so we look for the short cuts and we slap on the newest and greatest practice or platitude and we keep on truckin’. And it works for a while, but because most of these concepts are complex and intertwined and take a willingness to be uncomfortable and a mess, we either quit out of frustration, or we attempt to skip to the master class. I misunderstood a lot of these concepts because they sound so easy, they’ve almost been trivialized. Make a vision board and your life will be better. But we don’t want to ask the hard questions, like why do we want what’s on that vision board? Being spiritual became more about doing it right than living authentically. If I wasn’t manifesting what was on my vision board there must be something wrong with me. And much of these concepts have been taken out of context and overly simplified.
6. What central point do you wish readers to take away from reading the book?
Ultimately happiness isn’t a destination, it’s a state of mind. Spirituality doesn’t have a rule book, there isn’t a right and a wrong way, it’s just life, your life. I’ve got a million platitudes and I hate to say it, but they are all true. Life is messy, life is a journey (yep I just said that), give yourself a break, and if you can only hold on to one sacred cow, make it this one: Everything is going to be ok and you might as well laugh…cause really it is damn funny, even when it sucks.
7. How did writing the book change you? How would you like it to affect readers?
Writing Tipping was a catharsis in that I let go of all the thoughts and ideas that had been swirling about my head for a very long time. Just like in the game I describe in the book: “My life Sucks”, it was freeing to write it and say it, I had to dig deep into myself to the places I often avoided. My hope is that readers will see that in doing that, there is peace, laughter and a path towards the life they desire. And that in the end the only path you need to be following is your own.
8. What’s next or what are you working on now?
I am currently filming another “BLEEP” and am working on getting a new film going “Killing Buddha”.
What sacred cows are you holding onto? Do they inhibit your growth or assist you in it? Share with us in the comments.
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P.S. While your here check out my intuition development book: Click here.
Betsy Chasse is an internationally known author, filmmaker and speaker. She is the Co-Creator (Writer, Director, Producer) of the film “What The Bleep Do We Know?!” and the author of 3 books including Tipping Sacred Cows (January 2014 Atria/Simon & Schuster), Metanoia – A Transformative Change of Heart and the companion book to BLEEP, Discovering The endless Possibilities for Altering Your Everyday Reality. She also enjoys blogging for Huff Post, Intent.com, Modern Mom and other sites. Chasse continues to make provocative films, with the recently completed documentary CREATIVITY and two currently in production— The follow up film to “BLEEP” and Zentropy a narrative comedy about what happens when the least spiritual person on the planet gets hired to make a movie about spirituality.
Pick up Tipping Sacred Cows on Amazon here.