5 Steps to Forgive & Let Go to Achieve Your Dreams

5 Steps to Forgive & Let Go to Achieve Your Dreams

How to forgive and let goAllow yourself to forgive and let go if you want to be achieve your dreams and success.

Do you want to be successful in your relationships, health, career and financially? Do you have a vision of your ideal life that you dream of living? I hope so.

If you don’t have a vision that inspires and motivates you to take action please contact me (here).

If you are still holding resentment and grudges against people for things that occurred in the past you will find it much more difficult to achieve the success you dream of.

How unresolved issues hurt you

Suppose you are still angry and resentful about what happened to your life after you went through a nasty divorce. Every time you think of your spouse you feel upset and anger boils up from within. Just the mere mention of his/her name instigates this reaction. And, the mere thought of running into them makes you feel as if you were punched in the gut.

Carrying around this unresolved anger and resentment weighs heavily on you. It’s always there in the back of your mind and makes you feel down every time it comes to mind. Not forgiving blocks the flow of your life energy and suppresses joy and that keeps you from living fully.

This caustic reaction affects you emotionally and physically. Countless studies have shown that negative emotions release a slew of toxic chemical reactions within your body. Over time holding onto anger and resentment will impact your health.

Here’s a quote to put it in perspective:

“In fact, not forgiving is like drinking rat poison and then waiting for the rat to die.” Anne Lamott, Traveling Mercies: Some Thoughts on Faith (1999)

When you think about it this quote makes a lot of sense. When we hold resentment and anger toward someone or some situation we feel justified because of  “how bad it was.” We erroneously believe that this anger and resentment actually punishes the other party but it’s actually doing nothing to them and everything (in a negative way) to you.

Why not forgiving blocks you from achieving your dreams

You may be thinking, “My situation is not forgivable. What happened to me is so bad that if Angela heard my story she would agree with me that [insert your story] cannot be forgiven!”

If you’re thinking this I want to wake you up to the real issue about holding resentment and not forgiving. Forgiving is not about condoning what happened. For example, stealing is wrong but what good does it do you to hold onto the anger and resentment toward the thief? To forgive you need to accept what has happened and think, “It is what it is,” so you can let go and move on. You need to release the emotional charge that is keeping you bound to the event and stuck in the past.

Your energy cannot circulate

When you don’t move on a huge portion of your energy is sucked out of you to keep this anger and resentment alive each day. This is energy you could put toward making your life the joyous one you dream of. Not forgiving becomes a large hungry mass inside that continuously sucks life energy and blocks you from moving forward in your life. It keeps you stuck in the past and holds you hostage to it whether you realize it or not. It locks you into a victim mentality where your sad story defines and thereby shapes your life and what manifests because of it.

Every thought you think and emotion you consistently feel contributes to a pattern through which your life is created. Over time these repetitive thoughts and emotions coalesce into the situations in your life. The signal you broadcast when you don’t forgive is, “Hey world this is what I want so please send me more things to be angry about and resent, okay? Thanks!” That’s not really what you want, is it?

To forgive is to free yourself

If you have goals and dreams for your life you owe it to yourself to examine who and what you may need to forgive in your life. If you don’t forgive you will end up going in circles instead of making progress toward what  you say you want. On the one hand you will dream of living this big great life and on the other you will cancel it out by holding onto and feeding this dark mass of resentment.

Think of it this way what do you want more: To live the life you dream of or to hold onto that anger and resentment that you erroneously believe is punishing the person/situation?

I believe if you really think about this you’ll want to forgive and move on to create the life you dream of.

How to forgive & let go in 5 steps

Years ago my spiritual mentor gave me a powerful mantra: I forgive. I forgive. I forgive everyone including myself.

I changed it to: I forgive. I forgive. I forgive everyone including “insert name of person you want to forgive” and myself.

1. Go within. Close your eyes and take in three deep breaths to relax.

2. Picture the person. In your mind’s eye see the person you want to forgive.

3. Use the mantra. Silently repeat the mantra over and over while seeing them smile and nod their head in agreement with you to show they have received and accepted your forgiveness.

Spend at least 5 minutes sending out your forgiveness to them. It’s okay if at first you really don’t feel the forgiveness. As you practice this over time you will begin to feel the difference.

4. Release the person. After 5 minutes see them wave to you and then begin to walk away and as they do become smaller and smaller and finally disappear. Walking away and disappearing represents you releasing them from the energetic hold your mind has had upon keeping this anger and resentment alive within you.

5. Commit to this process. Repeat this several times during the day. I recommend at least twice; once upon arising and once again before you go to sleep. Forgiving someone takes time. It’s not going to happen overnight. You must commit to practicing forgiving and keep doing it until you realize that thinking about the person/situation no longer brings up the negative reaction.

When I did this it took me about six months until one day I suddenly realized I could think about the person and not have that negative reaction. It was so liberating! My life changed for the better. (Actually the moment I consciously began doing the forgiveness work my life began to get better.) When I was truly free my life took off and my life changed dramatically. Now I can think of this person and not feel anything other than that I wish them well. This is the point you want to get to.

What has not forgiving cost you – in lost time – in lost joy? Be honest with yourself. Can you see how not forgiving punishes you and not the other person? Tell us about it in the comments.

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P.S. Is anger and resentment holding you back from living the great life you dream of? Contact me for a life purpose session to discover how to change things for the better – here.

 

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Mother’s Day: Make Peace with Your Mother

Mother’s Day: Make Peace with Your Mother

“My mother was the most beautiful woman I ever saw. All I am I owe to my mother. I attribute all my success in life to the moral, intellectual and physical education I received from her.” –George Washington

Mother's Day

Do you wince when someone says, “My mother is my best friend. We talk everyday and do everything together?” Wish things were different between the two of you?

If so, this post is for you.

This Mother’s Day make peace with your mother. 

For the last several weeks I had asked my intuition for a dream with an answer to a decision I had been grappling with regarding the care taking of my mother. If the situation continues to be intolerable do I stay or do I go?

I had a dream that my mother passed. I was filled with regret that I hadn’t made peace with her before it was too late.

In this the dream I received a flash of intuition with the intuitive insight that she had spent her entire life reacting out of her own pain, and that it had been anything but her intention to be so hurtful.

We had been locked in a dance of egos….if only one of us had the courage to rise above the ego things might have ended differently.

When I awoke from my intuitive dream I understood that we are here to love one another at the soul level despite human  flaws.

Neither of us is perfect. It is time to end the perpetual sparring match. Time to change my thinking.

While I didn’t get the answer I expected or needed my intuition had given me a clear message:

Make peace with your mother. Do it now before it’s too late.

Love is all that matters. Wounds, hurts and bruises dim the light of love for as long as you allow them to. Make the effort to wipe them away as often as necessary by forgiving and you will see that the light never stopped shining.

Happy Mother’s Day to all mothers, daughters and sons included. Here’s to hoping you can make peace. 

If you enjoyed this post please share it with a friend on Twitter, Google+ or Facebook.

P.S. Learn to get intuitive guidance for your life – click here.

I’m honored to be part of Lisa Claudia Brigg’s Wise Woman Council.

Wise Woman Council
Image credit: Duke University Digital Image Library

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‘Tis the Season to Forgive, Mend and Heal

‘Tis the Season to Forgive, Mend and Heal

We are all full of weakness and errors; let us mutually pardon each other our follies. —Voltaire.

‘Tis the season to forgive, mend and heal.

Tis the season to forgive, mend and healDuring the holidays when we gather with family is when we most wish to mend relationships that have gone awry.

Everyone has disagreements. We are human after all.

If we nip things in the bud early on and mend the hurts we’ve inflicted or forgive the hurts we feel we were dealt, we can clear the air and uplift our hearts during this festive time. (more…)