5 Top Ways Fear Sneaks in to Sabotage Your Dreams

5 Top Ways Fear Sneaks in to Sabotage Your Dreams

Confused woman, fear of missing out, intuition blocks

Fear is sneaky and has many disguises.

It’s important to recognize the ways fear disguises itself because it can and will sabotage your dreams if you let it.

Take Intuitively Inspired Action

One of the principles I often write about on Powered by Intuition is that of “intuitively inspired action.” Intuitively inspired action is when you act upon a gut feeling or intuitive knowing. The ‘nudge’ to follow a particular path comes from inside as a ‘pull’ you feel toward some choice or decision. This is “intuitively inspired” meaning it comes from our higher knowing, higher self, soul or what we call “intuition.”

When you follow the guidance of your intuition you are led to the choices and decisions that will bring you the greatest success. The pull you get about taking this action come to your awareness because you are ready to take this path. If it were not meant for you there would be no pull toward actually doing it.

This “pull” toward a particular path is how we are directed and guided in life by our higher knowing. To ignore this guidance is like driving by 100 gas stations when you’re lost and never stopping to ask for directions.

The moment you honor the “pull” and take “intuitively inspired action” you course correct and end up on the right road for you.

Fear Sabotages Your Dreams

Fear makes you a hostage to the status quo. It holds you back from taking intuitively inspired action or from carrying it out. It keeps you stuck in your comfort zone where nothing changes. When you are driven by fear you have all kinds of excuses about why you can’t do what you planned to do so you never achieve your dreams of doing great things.  You must learn to recognize fear in all its disguises so your dreams won’t slip through your fingers.

The 5 Top Ways Fear Sneaks in to Sabotage Your Dreams

1. Avoidance. Do you avoid doing the things you need to make your dream a reality? Do you send for information but then never read it? Do you sign up for things but never respond when it’s time to confirm? When you keep avoiding what needs to get done opportunities diminish and doors close. Eventually you rationalize that you’ve lost interest in your dream. Avoidance is a disguise for fear of failing.

2. Procrastination. Do you procrastinate? Are you indecisive? Do you put things off and drag out what needs to get done until it’s too late? Miss deadlines? This sabotaging behavior is a disguise for fear of failing too. If you never finish technically you’ll never fail, right? It’s a pretty sneaky way of sabotaging your dream.

3. Overwhelm. Do you take on too much? When you dive headlong into things without mapping out the steps you feel overwhelmed. If this is a pattern in your life you fear there is never enough time. You feel you have to do it ALL right now! When you’re in overwhelm you shut down and nothing gets done. This is a disguise for both fear of failing and fear of success. Either way, getting overwhelmed and shutting down ensures you’ll never fail or succeed.

4. Confusion. Do you find the tasks you need to accomplish confusing? Are you unsure about what outcome you’re working toward? Confusion arises when you don’t have a well thought out plan and jump into things with a half-baked idea. This is a disguise for fear of failing by being left out or left behind by your peer group. It means you constantly compare yourself to others and allow fear to push you into things simply because you see others doing it. Fear of being left out sabotages success simply because you’re not going after a dream because it’s your true desire….you’re going after it because you feel you have to “keep up.”

5. Excuses. Do you make excuses about why you can’t do something? Is the timing wrong? Do you cancel appointments? Are you too busy? Does everything always “cost too much?” Do need to do more research and have more information first? Do you talk yourself out of it saying things like, “Well, it’s probably not all it’s cracked up to be?” Making excuses is a disguise for fear of failing too. Excuses hold you back from starting. When you never start you can never fail.

Do you recognize any of these behaviors? What sneaky way is fear keeping you from getting to your dream?

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P.S. Learn how to take intuitively inspired action in your life! Click here.

Why Making Friends Can be Counter-Intuitive, And What to Do About It

Why Making Friends Can be Counter-Intuitive, And What to Do About It

Friendship

Why Making Friends Can Be Counter-Intuitive, And What To Do About It

By guest author Paul Sanders

Making friends sounds simple; you just meet new people, stay in touch, meet them again, and if you like them, keep seeing them. But in reality, when you want to do it, lots of emotions come up, it feels like you’re about to jump off a cliff. Your brain starts to think of scenarios of rejection and humiliation.

This article is about to show you why it feels like you need courage, and guts, to meet other people and try to make friends… and what to do about it.

When Making Friends, You’re Revealing Who You Really Are

With family and work, you can fake being someone else; you can show a politically correct version of yourself. It sure drains your energy, but it’s effective, as you know that some family members will never understand you, and that at work it’s better to stay professional.

In friendship, you can’t keep your social persona, as the whole concept of being friends is based on showing who you really are. People always held a special place for their friends… they’re never who they really are, completely spontaneous, until they meet their friends. If you had to fake being someone with someone, then that’s not friendship.

You’re kind of obligated to put yourself on the line, and that makes you scared of being judged for who you are, what you do, or how you think.

Fortunately for you, the way friendship works is that you don’t have to reveal everything about yourself that quickly. You can reveal more and more about yourself as you start to trust the person. To get yourself ready to be safely open to make friends, get ready to reveal just a tiny bit more than usual.

To get started, reveal only 5% more about yourself than usual.

Making Friends Requires That You Trust Your Good Judgment

Making friends as an adult is about choosing the right people for you, and deciding not to be involved with others. It’s not like in school where you didn’t get to choose who sits next to you or who gets to be in your class, or neighborhood.

This means you’ll give yourself the permission to pick and choose. Most people don’t give themselves the permission to decide who gets access to their life and who stays out. So, if you need someone to give you permission to do that, then fine, here: I give you permission to pick and choose whom to hang out with.

You’re taking responsibility for your success and happiness, things are hard enough, and you at least deserve to choose who you surround yourself with.

Making Friends Means That You’re Worthy Of People’s Time

When you think of meeting people, it’s easy to fall in the traps of thinking things like: “Will they find me interesting enough? Will they get bored with me?”

Well, for example, if you’re thinking about making friends with people who spend their time talking about gossip, viral YouTube videos, and celebrities, while you spend your time thinking about yoga, achievement, goals, and success… there might be a disconnect.

First, yes you are worthy of people’s time! But you’re not for everyone! You’re not a generic product. Some kind of crowd will love you, and others will get bored with you.

The mistake is to think that “if one person doesn’t want to spend time with me… I’m worthless!” That’s not realistic at all.

Example: Imagine a man and a woman on a date; the woman talks about her plans to spend the next five years travelling the world, while the man shares his desire to start a family and succeed at his current, local job. If the girl gets disinterested in that man, does it mean that he’s worthless? Of course not! He might be a great guy, just not for her.

Again, some people will love to spend their time with you, all you have to do is find them and connect with them. And the more commonalities you have with them, the easier it is to build a friendship.

Making Friends Means You’ll Risk Social Rejection

Here, the most important thing to do is to avoid taking normal social behavior as social rejection. Once you pay more attention and read the signs that people are sending you, you’ll realize how rare social rejection is, in reality.

Anyone can fall in this trap, even popular and important people face this every day. This is because there always going to be people who don’t have the time to talk to you, don’t feel like making new friends, or just forget to give you a call.

Don’t be hard on yourself by interpreting all that as a hint that there is maybe something wrong with you. Your best bet is to focus on learning how to make friends, and, with a little practice, social rejection will no longer be a problem for you.

Is making friends hard for you? Do you fear social rejection? Can you see how these tips could help? Share your experience with us in the comments section.

If you enjoyed this post why not share it with a friend on Twitter, FB or Google+?

P.S. Developing your intuition helps you discern who to make friends with. Click here!

Paul Sanders head shotPaul Sanders is the founder of Get The Friends You Want, his methodology helps you overcome shyness and loneliness, have the critical social skills you need, make friends, and build your social circle. Start here: Free Social Skills Newsletter

 

 

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