Do You Teach What You Most Need to Learn?

“My husband talks to me about his writing all the time, especially when I’m trying to watch TV – it drives me crazy! You know he reads and takes notes? Do you do that to?”

I can’t help but laugh as my beautician uses me as her guinea pig to try to make sense of her “writer” husband. She keeps talking without taking a breath, or allowing me to answer her question.

“What do you write about?” she asks combing my wet hair onto my forehead to trim my bangs.

“About learning to develop your intuition and to use it to-”

“To get the lottery numbers?” I see her light up over this as I watch her refection in the mirror.

“Well, not exactly, ” I say. “I write about how to use your intuition to solve problems and get guidance.”

“Oh, I’ve always wondered how all that worked,” she replied, but the gleam had gone out of her eyes when she realized I wouldn’t be sharing the secret to “getting the lottery numbers.”

After this we talk about her children, and other topics. I half listen as she continues talking, nodding appropriately when necessary. But, I keep asking myself, aside from it being a life-long passion, why am I so compelled to write about intuition?

On the way home in the car a thought pops into my mind:

*You teach best what you most need to learn

As I think about this, I realize it’s true. I do teach what I need to learn. My parents were Old World types and made most of my decisions for me. My father once quit a job for me – when I went in the next day I was surprised to learn I no longer worked there! Any decisions I was allowed to make for myself were constantly second-guessed, which undermined my confidence. This led me to stop trusting myself, particularly when it came to listening to my gut, or intuition. As time passed I learned to discount my intuition – to push it down where it was safely hidden. It was easier than trying to argue with my parents. This set me up in a life-long battle over making choices based on what others wanted me to do, versus following my instincts and passion.

I know now that I have to listen to my inner voice. When I look back over the biggest mistakes I’ve made they were all due to my making choices based on being practical, rather than on what I truly desired, or felt in my gut. For example, I’d chosen a career in finance rather than pursue writing, the subject I was truly interested in.

After this revelation I wondered if other bloggers felt compelled, as I did, to write about a topic because it was something they needed to learn as well? I decided to ask a few about this and here are their fascinating and generous responses:

Steven Aitchison:

Change Your Thoughts was born from an idea that my life experiences might benefit other people in some way.  I was socially awkward, didn’t really believe I was that intelligent, suffered from major self doubts and was depressed.  After waking up in hospital, after a failed suicide attempt at the age of 21 in 1990, I decided to change my life then and there.  From that day forward I made changes, lots of them, one of them being my thoughts.  As soon as I changed my thinking patterns my life started to turn around.

I was always interested in writing and wrote short stories across the net and in groups and was looking for something more.  Then in 2006, after gaining lots more new experiences and a degree in Psychology, I discovered  Steve Pavlina‘s blog, and thought he was amazing, and was doing exactly what I wanted to do.  That was it, I had found an outlet and Change Your Thoughts was born in August 2006 with a view to writing for anyone who would listen about the power of one’s thoughts, and their ability to change lives.

Karen Ruby of A Meaningful Existence:

I would definitely say that there are issues in my life that I need help with and one way to help myself is to learn from a variety of sources, including books, other blogs, and people. When I come across something that has helped me in my own life, I owe it to share with others so that they don’t have to struggle like I did. I think that’s definitely part of why I started my site, A Meaningful Existence. My life is not perfect and while I have figured out some things that work for me, there are other issues that I struggle with, just like everyone struggles. I have struggled to give my life meaning and to feel like life is more than ‘just existing’. I think most people who are drawn to self-development are drawn because we can all use some help in our own lives. I don’t know anyone who thinks that their life is perfect and that couldn’t use personal development techniques in some area of their life. Of course, it’s a life-long learning process. Not everything I read about directly affects my life, but I try and share what I’ve learned so that others don’t have to struggle as much.

Tess Marshall:

The Bold Life teaches to serve, to love and to connect with others by being our authentic selves and acting on our dreams. When I inspire readers, I’m inspired as well. When I encourage readers to step out of their comfort zone, I’m encouraged as well. There are moments I want to give up, give in to fear and throw in the towel. Instead I hold myself accountable by taking small penguin steps. I can’t ask you to be something or try something I am won’t. Blogging gives me the opportunity to release my own fears, as I encourage you to release yours. My courage and bravery become yours and your courage and bravery become mine. In the process we become stronger. We are one.

Alex Blackwell writes:

The BridgeMaker is an honestly written blog that focuses on faith, inspiration and stories of personal change. These topics are important to me as I continue learning the past does not have to define my future. I believe to change or grow we must first acknowledge what needs to be healed.

As a child of an alcoholic parent, the biggest piece that needs healing is my sense of worth. When a parent chooses the bottle over a child, the wounds cut deep. My blog, however, allows me to explore what happened a long time ago and reframe it in positive ways. While I can’t undo the past, writing about these topics helps me see how far I have come as a parent, husband and person.

The BridgeMaker is my testament that real change can occur when we allow our faith to inspire us to discard feelings that no longer serve us and replace them with healthier ones.

Betsy Henry:

Prior to starting, The Zen Mama’s blog, my relationship with my three boys had changed. We’d gone from being able to talk about everything to my suddenly being shut out. I couldn’t sleep thinking about how everything was wrong! I was trying to let go of worry and get closer to my three boys again, and I knew the only way that would happen was if I changed. That’s when I started writing my Zen Mama ideas on paper as advice to myself that eventually turned into the book, How To Be A Zen Mama. My relationship with my boys changed once I embraced positive parenting. Two years ago none of the boys wanted to sit at the table with us – now all that’s changed.  Zen Mama made us positive parents who wait to get angry. When you wait you usually realize that there’s nothing to get angry about.

With the blog, I wanted to share this knowledge others. I wanted to help other mothers let go, too. What I didn’t realize is that the blog would take on a life of its own. I had started out by writing about things I knew and had already experienced.  Now I find that I’m writing about what I’m learning about. I’ve been exploring Buddhism over the last year, so I write about all sorts of Buddhist principles. I find myself following my own advice about positive parenting and I’m having great results with my children.

Marko V of Calm Growth:

Earlier in my life, I was always upset because of small things, and I was frustrated by the most common events. Then I discovered the basic techniques to achieve calmness of mind. I still think that calmness is the pillar for our growth and therefore in the name of my blog is the word “calm.” Soon after I started blogging, I discovered other techniques to improve productivity, communication and planning, and my whole life changed. Since then, the more I research about the principles of self-development – the more I grow. Whenever I’m interested in some principle, and I want to learn more, I explore and then write about it in my blog.

Manal Ghosain of One with Now:

One of the things I always desired in my life was to be at peace. My journey led me to realize that I cannot seek what’s within—I only need to uncover it. My writing is mostly inspired by what I’m trying to incorporate into my daily life to become more present and in harmony with life as it unfolds now. Sharing enforces the concepts I’m trying to learn and apply. I hope my readers find such ideas useful in becoming more aware and at peace in their everyday life.

After reading every one’s responses I realize I’m not the only one who is “teaching what they most need to learn.” I can already feel a difference within me in the eight months since I’ve been blogging. I’m much more in touch with my true feelings and desires. I never would have put my house up for sale, so that I could eventually live on earnings from my blog and readings had it not been for the focus that blogging about intuition gives me. It does seem that for many of us blogging is a healing activity of sorts – a way to grow past the ingrained patterns that have held us back in the past in order to reach our fullest potential.

What about you? Are you blogging/teaching what you most need to learn? How has it affected your life?

*You teach best what you most need to learn, is a quote from Richard Bach, the author famous for writing Jonathan Livingston Seagull.

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  1. Hi Angela,

    I loved this article. I am always tempted to share what I am just learning – and therefore need to learn. And I believe, in addition to those you’ve listed on the site and those who have commented, Stephen Covey also agrees with this method. However, a mentor of mine insists that we should only teach what we know and what we are centered in, otherwise we are “out of integrity” – we can’t teach what we don’t know (thoroughly enough). It may somply be a matter of degrees, but I’d love to hear your thoughts.


    • Hi Keena,
      What a pleasure it is to meet you! I’m so glad you enjoyed the article!
      If Stephen Covey agrees – then I must be on to something for sure.
      I agree with your mentor that we should be teaching what we’ve learned thoroughly, but I don’t think there’s anything wrong with “teaching as you learn” either. In other words, sharing your mistakes along the way of learning and being honest with your readers that you too are still learning. I think readers would love to learn from your mistakes and really connect to your honesty. Not sure why being honest where you are in the learning process would make you “out of integrity?”
      Thank you so much for coming by and chatting with me on this fascinating topic. It’s been a true pleasure!

  2. I’m not a blogger but I am a writer. Your comments certainly hit home. Writing for me has always been a healing process as well. I think that is because when you write about an idea, any idea, you have ot work it out in your head. Writing is like a translator for the stuff going on in your head. It forces you to organize your thoughts and ideas and communicate. Not just to others but certainly to yourself.

    • Hi Rosemarie,
      You’re absolutely right. This is not only applicable for bloggers.
      Many non-fiction writers choose topics that they have need to learn and grow from too!
      I love this, “writing is like a translator for the stuff going on in your head.” So true!
      Thanks so much for visiting and commenting.

  3. Good stuff Angela, and enjoyed reading what others have to say.

    I’ve given this a lot of thought over the years from blogging and also as a forum moderator for a long time, and here’s how it goes for me. I usually write about stuff I’ve already learned or a subject I’m very familiar with. It might be a very recent educational experience, or I might need to do a little research, but it’s always something I’ve got down pat and solid or have been working on steadily for some time, even if I’m not perfect with it or whatever. Why? It’s my comfort level.

    In most cases, if it’s anything near personal, I’m just not comfortable writing about it if I’m in the middle of learning it. It’s probably my academic research background, in part, but it’s also about not wanting to write about something I’m not totally sure about or if it’s something I had an emotionally difficult time with.

    Exceptions are when I write from the vantage point of learner–if I’m learning, I state it outright. An example is the blog I kept while my dog battled cancer for 18 months. I was learning a lot! But I was also doing lots of research too, so I made sure facts were accurate when needed.

    I like the feeling of knowing what I know and being sure of it, end of story, no matter how off the wall it might be lol Or whatever. You like it? Great. You don’t? Yeah well–this is what I know to be true, end of story.

    So there’s my experience. But everything I write about on my blog is largely based on stuff I’ve learned, usually the hard way. So it’s similar.
    Leah McClellan recently posted…Make Love- Not War- Why Sex Is Good For World PeaceMy Profile

    • Hi Leah,
      I can see how that relates and is similar, as well. As an academic researcher, you have a inquisitive mind and a “need” to learn. So for you, sharing what you’ve learned is an expression of that need to know.
      You are teaching what you need to learn but, in your case it’s not based on the need to heal from some thing that happened in childhood. Your calling is higher learning – so you share and “teach” that, right?
      Thanks so much for stopping in to chat!

      • Hi Angela,

        Well, it’s a combination. What I write about on my blog is personal and some–or much–of it is based on stuff I’ve learned as a part of a healing process. It might have been from parents, my marriage and other relationships, or life in general. Just about anything I write concerning communication comes from lessons I learned from a very dysfunctional family or else in a relationship or in my marriage (which was the final lesson for a bunch of things I just wasn’t understanding). People who know me really well can see what lesson is behind each post.

        But I usually wait until I’m really solid in it–totally, beyond a doubt, sure of the information and that it’s not just personal. It’s stuff lots of other people are dealing with. “The slap of silence” for example, is based on my marriage–but also lots of reading. So it’s a combination of personal stuff and research.

        I tend to not write about anything I’m emotionally involved in (or something painful, unhealed, not totally learned-depends what it is) because I can’t be objective and do a good job with the writing. That’s the main reason I stick with stuff I really know well. You should see all the drafts I have of stuff that’s just rants–I wait on those until I feel I have a really solid grasp on it.

        It’s kind of like keeping a bandage on a wound before exposing it to the air again :) Sometimes there’s a lesson to share, sometimes not. And yeah, my calling is to teach–in one way or another, always has been :)
        Leah McClellan recently posted…Make Love- Not War- Why Sex Is Good For World PeaceMy Profile

        • Hi Leah,
          You sound like me. I have a zillion drafts in my posts file.
          I’m pretty guarded most of the time.
          The things I put in this post I felt were more on the mild, or benign side.
          I’m not ready to go “naked,” as Jean refers to it, in my blog yet.
          So, I can only reveal what I’ve processed and made peace with up to this point in my life.
          I’m going to have to go back and read the Badge of Silence. It sound fascinating.
          I’m getting a picture in my head of – The Cone of Silence – from GET SMART thought! lol

  4. I do believe that we teach what we need to learn – as well as what we have learned.

    My very best teachers were those who were still learning and being students while they were also teachers. The lesser teachers, just taught – having ceased the learning process.

    It was neat to read the voices of the 7 writers -and to “hear” their inside perspective – as Jean said “Peak behind the curtain”
    Aileen recently posted…3 Building Blocks to SuccessMy Profile

    • Hi Aileen,
      Geez, I feel as if I’ve just spoken wth you! lol!
      What a great point: the lesser teachers just taught and ceased to learn.
      Wow, that’s so true. Thank you for pointing that out.
      It was interesting to see what all the bloggers had to say, wasn’t it?

  5. Oh Angela, how true this is!

    One of the things I’ve struggled with is how to take my ideas out of my head and put them into the real, physical world. Once I got the hang of that, I realize that’s what I was supposed to teach! And so Practically Intuitive was born. “Intuitive Guidance with practical application” – yep, it’s what I needed to learn (and have come a long way with it) and what I can assist others with as well.

    Great idea for a post!

    • Hi Lisa,
      I’m glad you liked the post. We do teach what we most need to learn – and you’re doing that too.
      I’m so happy things are working out well for you!
      Thanks so much for visiting and commenting.

  6. Thanks Angela for including me in your brilliant post. I truly believe we grow and heal faster when we have the power of the collective behind. As Tess said we are one. Blogs are the best way to share and spread ideas that can be of benefit to all of us.

    This was a great idea for a post and it is truly inspiring to read what my fellow bloggers had to say.
    Manal recently posted…The Power of SmallMy Profile

  7. Hi Angela,

    It’s interesting to see what other bloggers have said about their motivation behind their sites. Thanks for the opportunity to share and to be a part of the discussion here.

    I think it’s clear that everyone has several layers of reasons for why they blog – we’re certainly getting a lot more out of it than we ever imagined.

    Karen recently posted…How To Motivate Yourself In Times Of StressMy Profile

    • Karen,
      You’re so wise! I’m going to call you the wise woman in the IT dept. from now on!
      Yes, I can see we do have several layers of reasons for blogging, and that we’re all getting more out of it than we ever could have imagined we would.
      I’m so glad you were part of this!

  8. Hi Angela! I’m definitely working on the concept “You teach best what you most need to learn” with my blog. Each post comes from something that I’ve been experiencing, learning, growing, expanding into. I hope may readers will take the journey with me so we can continue to grow together.

    Loving blessings!
    Andrea DeBell – britetalk recently posted…Catch the Passion Fever but Don’t Call the DoctorMy Profile

    • Hi Andrea,
      I think if we’re as honest and authentic as possible when we blog – our readers benefit even more.
      I’m sure your readers are growing with you.
      I know I enjoy and learn from your blog very much!
      Thanks so much for adding to the conversation here.

  9. This post makes me want to jump up and down while yelling yes, yes, yes! A huge part of why I chose to blog about balanced living is to stay in touch with the concept as closely as possible, to converse and continue to learn more about it. I spent so much time out of balance that I am passionate about it now…sharing what I have learned and gleaning info from others too. It was great to hear other bloggers speak on this. You put together a very engaging and honest post. Thanks for that. :)
    Clearly Composed recently posted… Tuesday’s ThoughtMy Profile

    • Hi Emma,
      I’m so glad you enjoyed it! I am jumping up and down too. I found out I wasn’t alone in my own need to explore the topic I write about for my own growth.
      I see….for you having spent time out of balance the blog is the scale that now helps you keep the balance in your life.
      Thank you for sharing that with us here Emma!

  10. Hi Angela,
    Thanks so much for including me in your post! I really enjoyed hearing about your experiences. As a preschool teacher and parent, I am very aware that the most decisions a child can make in a structured setting the better off they will be as a teenager make important decisions like driving and drinking. Parents do their children a disservice by making all their decisions for them. I am sorry you went through that! Yet, isn’t it amazing that everything that happens to us helps bring us to our life today. Your blog is so great and helps so many people! I also enjoyed being introduced to so many new blogs, including your commentors.

    • Hi Betsy,
      I’m so glad you were a part of it Betsy.
      I know my parents were only doing what they thought was right. Growing in the crazy times I did they probably didn’t know how to deal with all the change that was occurring around them, so they went way overboard.
      Yes, I wouldn’t change a thing. It has made me who I am today.
      I’m so happy you enjoyed being introduced to the other blogs as well.

  11. Angela,

    What a great stories of you and other bloggers.

    We all meet people like your beautician in our lives and sometimes I have noticed that people are talking but not listening to each other, it is almost like 2 different conversations are going on.

    I might be one of be one of them, when I have something so strong in my mind that I can not think of anything else, until I resolve the issue. Thanks for sharing!
    Preeti recently posted…Wisdom gained from our camping tripMy Profile

    • Hi Preeti,
      How are you? It’s so good to see you here.
      I’m glad you enjoyed the post.
      My beautician is really very very nice, and funny too!
      Thanks so much for visiting and commenting.

  12. Hi Angela,

    I had to laugh about your beautician. It’s like I was in the room. Also I can “know” the second after I’ve chosen not to listen to my intuition I’ve made or am making a mistake. For instance if I know I’m suppose to keep my mouth closed in a situation…One syllable out of my mouth I know but it’s too late and I’m off and running of course. Oh I’m so better than I used to be. Thank you for caring enough to quote me;) I hope all compters stuff is back on track.
    Tess The Bold Life recently posted…Feeling Jealous Shine Your Light On It…My Profile

    • Hi Tess,
      I’m glad you enjoyed the post. She is pretty funny!
      Thank you for being part of the article. I really appreciated it.
      Oh yes, me too. The nano-second after I do something a funky feeling registers within me!
      Yes, I’ve gotten better too. I think it’s why we say we’re older, but wiser?
      All is well with my computer – thank goodness~!

  13. Hi Angela, yes, I thibk this is insightful. Working with spirit is only working with self. Ultimately my desire to change the world is changing myself. Sharing what I know is unlocking the potential that resides in me.
    Simon Hay recently posted…Im at Evitas- pop over for a visitMy Profile

    • Hi Simon,
      What a pleasure having you visit my blog!
      Wonderfully said. “Working with spirit is working with self.” Beautiful.
      Yes, to change yourself is to change the world. I love this!
      And, sharing what I know is unlocking the potential within me.
      Well, that sums up my whole post! Thank you Simon for visiting and sharing your wisdom with us.

  14. Wonderful post! How fun it is to read about these amazing bloggers and how they have learned from writing.

    I have found that when I am writing my little stories that I may not REALIZE that I am writing about what I am learning, until I get to the bottom of my page and have to write my brands LIFE LESSON. Then, I sit back (sometimes even walk away) until I have clarity about what I actually most need to learn. Hopefully in the process, I am reaching out and teaching others from my experience.

    Thank you for a well written and enjoyable article!
    jen recently posted…Releasing RegretMy Profile

    • Hi Jen,
      I’m so glad you enjoyed the post!
      It was fascinating to learn about everyone’s background.
      I know what you mean about walking away to let things gel.
      I do that too.
      Thanks so much for visiting and commenting.

  15. I learnt many lessons of life the hard way. The small voice that guides you can be mistaken if it’s filled with wrong information.
    I am a reformed pessimist and it takes work to stay optimistic.
    I have learnt that it takes just as much effort to be an optimist as it did to be a pessimist. Its all about thought control and attitude.
    My blog looks at alternative answers, to look, listen and not take for granted what you believe is truth.
    Andre recently posted…Comment on HQ Raided Classified Agenda Discovered by StringfreeMy Profile

    • Hi Andre,
      You’re right if you’re not in touch with your authentic self the small voice will be wrong! I’m glad you found a voice for your interests through your blog!
      Nice to hear that your a “reformed pessimist” too!
      Thank you for visiting and commenting.

  16. Hi Angela, there are some great people here, thank you for allowing me to be part of this wonderful post!


    • Hi Marko,
      I’m glad you could be a part of this post.
      I appreciate your contribution!

  17. GREAT POST! I found you through Zen-Mama…and had to come read! That is incredible about your childhood! I was sorta inbetween somewhere in mine. Every decision brought a parental look of question, maybe disapproval. Exasperating. lol.

    But look at us now! :o)
    sheila recently posted…Clean your carpets with my Dixie Cup recipe!My Profile

    • Hi Sheila,
      Welcome to my blog! I love all of Betsy’s friends!
      Yeah, I know my parents were only trying to do what was best for me, but it did undermine my confidence about following my own passions and desires.
      Glad you enjoyed the post!

  18. Thanks for providing this perspective Angela. It is true that writers often write about what they know. For me, this is not about staying stuck in the past; it’s about having the courage to acknowledge what I want to change and heal.


    • Hi Alex,
      Thank you for providing such a beautifully written paragraph for the article.
      Yours really helped illustrate the point I was trying to make.
      I think you’re so right to say – it’s about having the courage to heal and then move on with your life without staying stuck in the past. I think that comes through quite clearly on your excellent blog.
      Thanks again for your support!

  19. Angela, I think you got it exactly right, and the quotes from the blogs you mention clearly support the idea that we teach what we need to learn. I do that as well. In fact, for several years before I started my blog, I found myself chosing to speak in my Toastmaster clubs about aging and how most of what we think we know about it isn’t true.

    I also realized how harmful certain ideas are, such as “you can’t teach an old dog new tricks” and decided that I could use the example of people who do brilliant work into their 60s and 70s and beyond as well as my own experience.

    Finally, you showed your great story-telling skills to introduce the topic. I could really visualize your conversation with your hairdresser.
    Madeleine Kolb recently posted…Celebrating Hurricane Katrina Survivor “Fats” DominoMy Profile

    • Hi Madeleine,
      I’m so glad you found the post interesting.
      I love your blog and all the fabulous talented people you show case doing great things who are older. (especially the older I get – the more I appreciate what you’re doing!)
      Thanks so much for visiting and commenting!

  20. I love hearing how these bloggers (and you!) arrived at their topic. It’s a great peek behind the curtain.

    I definitely am writing about what I most need to learn. At first I thought I’d be writing more about the nuts and bolts of blogging, as that was where I was weak. Later, the blog grew into having a stronger focus on things like finding balance, being productive, and managing ‘the voice in my head.’

    For me the blog is really about my daily practice with blogging, and whatever I most need to learn is typically a foundation for a post.
    Jean Sarauer recently posted…Making Your Personality Shine Through Your BlogMy Profile

    • Hi Jean,
      I’m so glad you enjoyed the post. It is a fascinating “peek behind the curtain” as you put it.
      If I’d known all this – I would have asked you to write a paragraph too!

  21. Angela: Great post. It was so interesting to see the thinking behind so many great bloggers and understand what motivates them and inspires them to continually share their thoughts and insights. What you suggested makes perfect sense that people are driven and are able to each best what they need to learn. I think that is a great insight. I have always thought that when you consistently read a blogger’s work, you can often tell what is at the top of his/her mind and even perhaps what personal lessons they are focusing on learning. Very interesting topic and insights.
    Sibyl – alternaview recently posted…30 Traits of a Pleasant Person … Are you PleasantMy Profile

    • Hi Sybil,
      I’m so glad you enjoyed the post.
      It is really interesting to learn what makes a person tick, isn’t it?
      As you say you can get a sense of it from what they write too, but I think having them describe the life circumstances that led to their choosing the topic specifically is even more fascinating.

  22. Thanks so much for the link love!!!



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