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Unless you’ve been living under a rock, you’ve heard about the infidelities of Tiger Woods and Jesse James.
And, you must have seen the reports about Elin Woods and Sandra Bullock, their poor suffering spouses too.
Personally, I feel very sorry for these two women. There’s nothing worse than finding out your mate is cheating on you, let alone learning that he, or she has been with scores of other people. And, you don’t have to be married either. Dating someone, or living together and finding out they’re cheating on you is just as devastating.
I wanted to write about this topic because I wondered whether either Sandra Bullock, or Elin Woods had any inklings about their husband’s extra-marital activities?
Many times there are signs that a mate is cheating, such as getting hang up calls at home, they start coming home late a lot, or a sudden increase in business meetings and dinners, business trips and phone calls that need to be returned to “clients,” or excuses like having to run out for errands to the store in the evenings after dinner, etc.
These may not be as apparent in a celebrity marriage, or relationships since it may normal for them to be out late, or away from home frequently, but for “regular folk” these types of behaviors should create some bells going off for us. If they don’t, or your mate convinces you to accept these activities as normal, you may start to get nudges from your intuition that something is going on. In any case, that’s what happened to me.
Infidelity heightened my Intuition by 1000 percent
After questioning my sanity and being talked into believing that it was all my imagination, I started having these very upsetting dream. I’d awaken in the middle of the night after dreaming of other women wearing sexy nightgowns in the house as if they belonged there. They’d usually be doing something in the kitchen like making tea by the stove. This occurred over and over again until I was an emotional wreck. I couldn’t think about anything else, I couldn’t eat, and I couldn’t sleep either. I was also receiving strange vibes when we socialized with friends as if I was out of the loop on something. After a while, whenever he was nearby I physically felt this awful pulling sensation in my gut along with occasional nausea too.
These were all signals from my intuition trying to warn me to pay attention!
There came a point where I could not longer ignore the actual signs in my life and the signals from my intuition – and I wised up. Had I trusted my intuition more back then I would have wised up sooner, but you have to live through it to learn from it. And learn I did.
Here’s what I learned from the experience:
1. You’re not crazy! The first sign is when the other person tries to convince you that it’s all your imagination. Don’t fall for that. By questioning your own sanity you’ve put yourself in an even weaker condition where you disconnect further from connecting to the guidance of your intuition.
2. When the excuses don’t add up – don’t discount your gut feeling. If you feel something is off – listen – it’s your intuition activating your own radar warning system. If you feel uncomfortable around friends as if they’re looking at you differently, or keeping secrets from you they probably are. Self-doubt is a killer don’t let it take hold.
3. If you start receiving direct knowledge through dreams, or your body reactions – trust it and act on it. In my case, I saw women I knew in my dreams which helped me put it all together and see through all the lies. To capture my attention my gut reaction became so intense that it manifested as an actual pulling sensation and nausea.
If you have a suspicion that your mate is cheating on you listen to your gut – it’s always right.
Have you had an experience like this? I’d like to hear about it and how your Intuition helped you uncover the truth.
P.S. Learn how you can easily and quickly develop your intuition – click here!
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both times my husband cheated on me I dreamt of it clearly on the night it was happening – in one case I had never seen the woman before, but it turns out her true appearance is exactly as I had dreamt it . I told him about the dreams, I asked him if it happened and he denied it then, but years later admitted to both events. There was other events that I “felt” and dreamt about, some he admits, others not. I’ve lost touch with my intuition, I think sleep deprivation from having small children doesn’t help, but I want it back. Since I was a child I’ve had premonitions, strong feelings, dreams but I never paid much heed. Now we are finally separating because I do not trust him (even though these days he is more loyal and loving). I don’t know if I’m unduly paranoid and neurotic or if what I feel is really my intuition telling me to get out before there is more hurt. It would be sad to let a marriage with children end because of paranoia, but on the other hand I don’t want to stay if he really cannot be trusted….
Hi Blongmi,
Thank you for visiting my blog. I read your comment and just want to start off by saying I’m so sorry to hear of the problems you’ve experienced in your marriage. Being cheated on is such a painful experience that I totally relate to. Your intuition seems to be very strong regarding your husband’s infidelities – that’s not uncommon between people who are close. Sleep deprivation and being distracted due to being under stress will cut us off at times from our intuition though.
I’m sorry to hear about your separation. It sounds like you’re not too sure if it’s the right way to go. I think that wanting to hone your intuition right now is very important as it would help you make this life-changing decision. Have you read my post on how to meditate? ? This would help to calm your mind and get you back in touch with your intuition. It is a discipline – you’d have to do it every day until it became a habit, but it would pay off in many ways in addition to boosting your intuition.
Of course there is couples counseling? Have you tried that? I certainly understand not wanting to stay with someone whom you cannot trust but perhaps outside intervention from a qualified therapist is needed here?
Aside from that I would suggest you make a list of the pros and cons about staying with your husband – and read it every day and add things to both columns as you come up with them. Do nothing rash initially just reflect on the list – unless of course there is abuse – you must reach out for help immediately. And tell yourself that you will “know” what to do and give yourself a deadline, say a month or two months, etc. Just keep affirming each day that within the time frame you selected you will hear your intuitive voice and will know what the right decision is. You may get signs from the outside world such as hearing a radio program, or seeing a television show, or reading a newspaper article that relates to your situation. You may also have more dreams about it. Or, it will just be a feeling of certainty that comes over you when you know what the right path is.
Good luck to you. Please let me know how things are going.
Most Sincerely,
Angela
You asked, “Has anyone else had an experience like this?” and I can answer, “Yes.”
Three years ago, I was in a new relationship. And one month into our very new relationship, I moved away. He asked me for a commitment before I left that we would be exclusive, and he proceeded to call me and text me regularly every day.
About a month into our separation, I began to suspect something was up. I couldn’t quite pinpoint why, but something didn’t feel right. Not at all. When I would bring it up, I was told that I was imagining things, that nothing was going on, that there was nobody else. I was accused of being insecure. So, after bringing this up twice, I left it. But the nagging in my gut didn’t stop.
Another month went by. He continued to call and text as regularly as he ever did. And then I got the break-up phone call. No reason was given for the break-up other than long distance, etc. And that’s when I knew. I contacted a friend who was still living in the same town as “him” and she confirmed what I had long suspected: there was another woman.
The next day he and I spoke, and I mentioned what I “knew” (which was precious little except for a gut feeling) and the CONFESSION began. The thing that made me most furious: that I’d been right and he’d tried to convince me that I’d been imagining it, accused me of not trusting him!
I’ve never doubted my gut since.
Wow Chania girl! What a life lesson you got. I’m sorry you had to go through that and that he was such a jerk. I’m so glad that you turned it around and used to always trust your got going forward. That’s marvelous! Thank you so much for sharing your story. I really helps when others read it and confirm that they should be trusting their intuition too!
Angela, Well, this is thought-provoking!It sounds as if your experience was a combination of looking for clues and tuning in to your powerful intuition.
I think that there are at least two kinds of infidelity, maybe more. One is the fidelity of opportunity, which is so common among celebrities. Women literally throw themselves at rich and famous actors, athletes, and politicians. (Did I leave out any group?) This is the Tiger Woods case. (I’m not excusing him at all, by the way; he’s the one who made the decision to have sex with all those women.)
The other kind is infidelity with a person one really cares about, especially over a long period of time. I think this may be an even greater threat to a marriage (but I’m not sure).
P.S. I just subscribed. Keep up the good work.
Hi Madeleine, Thanks so much for visiting my blog and commenting. Yes, you’re absolutely right about that. When we tune into our intuition our every day life will support out hunches with clues. Have you ever experienced anything that kicked your intuition into overdrive?
Hi Madeleine, My new nested comments cut off the full test of your comment. I’m sorry @ that. Yes, women do throw themselves at powerful men, and powerful men take full advantage of their position with women.
I just wanted to say Thank You for subscribing. I”ve been a subscriber to your very informative blog, AgeMyths.com for a few months now. I’m really enjoying it!
Hi Angela, thank you for sharing your experience and how your intuition clued you in. I think infidelity is complicated. I see it as a symptom of a larger problem and ufortunately, once it enters a relationship, it complicates things even further. I don’t think it has to ruin the relationship but it’s completely understandable why it often does. It violates and breaks trust, confidence and a whole host of other things we’ve built with someone overtime. But for some, there are good days that follow after having been cheated on and this capacity we have for forgiveness and repair is, to me, astounding. Having said that, I hope I never ever have to deal with infidelity in my marriage.
Hi Belinda, thank you for visiting my site. I’m glad you found the post interesting. I agree that if a couple can forgive and repair their relationship after the loss of trust caused by cheating, it’s amazing.
I hope that you will never have to deal with issue in your marriage as well!
I agree that we should always follow our gut. And obviously you are more “intuitive” than most; it’s not always as clear as the vivid dreams you had. Even so, when something tells you something is not right, you should pay attention. But in the case of infidelity, isn’t there a danger of confusing paranoia with intuition or gut?
Hi Rosemarie, thank you so much for your comment and observation. I think when we’re in a highly charged emotional state such as the fear that being cheated on would create there’s always a danger of allowing paranoia taking hold. That’s why I think we need to look for the clues in our actual relationship to substantiate our suspicions, as well as listening to our intuition. Many spouses report after being cheated on that there were signs in their relationships they over-looked, either consciously or unconsciously.